Spouse cheating, would you contact the person they were cheating with?

[Anonymous]

My spouse has been in a long-term affair. When it first started, I had found out about it, but after counseling and working together thought it was over years ago. Recently, the person he has been seeing sent me an email with a picture of the two of them. That is when I found out that it had started up again.

I am curious if you have found out your spouse was cheating, if you spoke with the person they were cheating with. I'm considering calling her and saying, "It seems you have something to tell me, so wanted to give you the opportunity."

What would you do?

Thanks

[Anonymous]

No

They won’t care and you’ll just look like a psycho

[Anonymous]

She opened the door, so I say go ahead.

[Anonymous]

Spend your energy getting a divorce. Anything else proves that you are a doormat.

[Anonymous]

No. I wouldn't give him/her the time or acknowledgement. You already know what he/she wanted to tell you. Are you sure the picture is even current?

[Anonymous]

Save the picture and use it as a bargaining chip in your divorce.

[Anonymous]

no use

[Anonymous]

Keep in mind she sent you the picture so you will get a divorce and she is hoping to get your STBX.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spend your energy getting a divorce. Anything else proves that you are a doormat.

This. Nothing can be gained from talking to her. She’s a horrible person on so many levels and there’s nothing she could say that you should trust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse has been in a long-term affair. When it first started, I had found out about it, but after counseling and working together thought it was over years ago. Recently, the person he has been seeing sent me an email with a picture of the two of them. That is when I found out that it had started up again.

I am curious if you have found out your spouse was cheating, if you spoke with the person they were cheating with. I'm considering calling her and saying, "It seems you have something to tell me, so wanted to give you the opportunity."

What would you do?

Thanks

Does your husband know she sent it? Do you think she did it to try to get reaction from you?
If she wants to talk to you, I’d hear her out. I’d get as much info from her but I’d give up no information from my perspective.

[Anonymous]

Is it a recent picture? What did the email say?

What would be the purpose of talking to her? I'd just forward the picture to my husband along with contact info for my attorney.

[Anonymous]

She may have sent the pic to get a reaction from your husband not you if he is ignoring her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse has been in a long-term affair. When it first started, I had found out about it, but after counseling and working together thought it was over years ago. Recently, the person he has been seeing sent me an email with a picture of the two of them. That is when I found out that it had started up again.

I am curious if you have found out your spouse was cheating, if you spoke with the person they were cheating with. I'm considering calling her and saying, "It seems you have something to tell me, so wanted to give you the opportunity."

What would you do?

Thanks

It depends on your end goal. If you call her do it already knowing that she is willing to cheat with a married man AND willing to give him up to his wife. She's not a loyal woman and not one with integrity so take everything she says with a grain of salt... and expect some salt in your wounds. If you plan to divorce him she may give you some ammunition. Only you can decide if calling her will help you more than it will hurt you. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. It sounds horrible.

[Anonymous]

No. He/she is trash. Don't waste your time.

[Anonymous]

Ignore