Spouse cheating, would you contact the person they were cheating with?

[Anonymous]

If you have kids with him every decision you now make should be with their best interests in mind. If not, do whatever you feel like doing regarding her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sent the email to her H.

I pretended to do therapy for 1 year until I knew they were broken up.

I got divorced.

Wow! That's revenge, I guess. Do you know if they ever reconnected after you said you wanted a divorce after all?

No. They didn't. He ghosted her. She was part of our "friends" group so I have friends that know... they also knew about the affair.

Also, my son found out so there were other reasons to stay away from her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep in mind she sent you the picture so you will get a divorce and she is hoping to get your STBX.

Why should OP care about this? Her husband is a cheater. Let the other chick have him.

Because if she has kids she does not want her kids around an obviously crazy person.

[Anonymous]

She emailed you an old picture....but that is how you found out that the affair had started up again? I'm confused...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it a recent picture? What did the email say?

What would be the purpose of talking to her? I'd just forward the picture to my husband along with contact info for my attorney.

It was not a recent picture from the date on the picture. There was nothing else in the email, just the attachment.

But you said you found out that the affair had started up again, so is it going on now? Do you know?

It had happening off and on for a number of years. Last ending in December.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She emailed you an old picture....but that is how you found out that the affair had started up again? I'm confused...

Because I started asking questions after the email and he finally came clean.

[Anonymous]

You want to stay with your spouse, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse has been in a long-term affair. When it first started, I had found out about it, but after counseling and working together thought it was over years ago. Recently, the person he has been seeing sent me an email with a picture of the two of them. That is when I found out that it had started up again.

I am curious if you have found out your spouse was cheating, if you spoke with the person they were cheating with. I'm considering calling her and saying, "It seems you have something to tell me, so wanted to give you the opportunity."

What would you do?

Thanks

Yes, I would because I would want to hear what that person had to say for themselves. You are going to have to cope with all of this, answers may be helpful down the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She emailed you an old picture....but that is how you found out that the affair had started up again? I'm confused...

Because I started asking questions after the email and he finally came clean.

Ugh, sorry about this. It's awful - I know. But to answer your question, no, I would not acknowledge her at all. She probably sent it for revenge if he ended the affair and she still wants to be with him, or to get a reaction out of him or you... He finds out that she emailed you the picture and then he contacts her to find out why she would do that, etc. I would not necessarily believe anything either one of them has to say, so I see no point in contacting her. Are you interested in trying to save your marriage, or are you unsure at this point what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She emailed you an old picture....but that is how you found out that the affair had started up again? I'm confused...

Because I started asking questions after the email and he finally came clean.

Ugh, sorry about this. It's awful - I know. But to answer your question, no, I would not acknowledge her at all. She probably sent it for revenge if he ended the affair and she still wants to be with him, or to get a reaction out of him or you... He finds out that she emailed you the picture and then he contacts her to find out why she would do that, etc. I would not necessarily believe anything either one of them has to say, so I see no point in contacting her. Are you interested in trying to save your marriage, or are you unsure at this point what to do?

Not sure what I will do because of kids and a couple of other situations that impact us right now.

[Anonymous]

How old are you?
Do you have kids?
How old are your kids?

Do you have a job? aka can you support yourself?

[Anonymous]

Read this.

https://www.chumplady.com/

[Anonymous]

It's a good sign she sent you the email because she is pissed at him for breaking up.

[Anonymous]

This message was a manipulation of one sort of another. The AP wants what she wants. Any communication with the AP will be on her terms and won’t be open and honest. Don’t go there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This message was a manipulation of one sort of another. The AP wants what she wants. Any communication with the AP will be on her terms and won’t be open and honest. Don’t go there.

She will mess up with your head. Ignore her.
Recover as well as you can first and decide if you want to divorce.