I am dreading my brother’s wedding and I feel like a terrible person

[Anonymous]

My younger brother is getting married this summer. I’m in my mid 20s and single, feel very insecure about that and the absolute last thing I want to do is go to any weddings. On the surface I have been SO NICE about the entire thing, have sent thoughtful and personalized engagement and shower gifts, have a lovely gift for the wedding, talk about how excited I am, but I am not looking forward to the entire event and can’t wait till it’s over. I feel like a terrible person and just had to get this off my chest.

[Anonymous]

Girl, you are in your mid20’s. In 10 years you will realize just how silly you are being. Be genuinely happy for him. You have plenty of time to settle down, truly. I married at 34 and had so much fun in my 20’s. There is time for fun now and settling down later.

[Anonymous]

Your brother is getting married young. You have plenty of time. Just try to enjoy it and ignore anyone who makes you feel you should be where he is.

[Anonymous]

Wow, are you guys Mormon or something? No one gets married in their early 20s these days!

[Anonymous]

You are not a terrible person. Actually you sound like the complete opposite. You are an adult that understands that evan though you are not happy that should not ruin your brother's important event. It is ok that you are not happy. And you are an incredible sister for putting on a brave face when it is called for. After you survive this event plan something special for yourself.

[Anonymous]

You are only in your mid 20s! Your brother is marrying really young.

It can feel really off-putting to see friends and family get married while you are single. Kind of like they are moving on without you. Vent away. But go to the wedding and enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

omg I can’t imagine having been married in my 20’s! It’s so fun to be on your own, have lots of adventures, get to know lots of different people, travel. There is plenty of time for married life.

[Anonymous]

Weddings are a great place to meet other single people?

[Anonymous]

Do not feel guilty. You are doing a great job with everything related to the wedding. You have a right to your feelings. Just keep doing what you are doing. If you can fake it,you can make it!!! You will be surprised how fast the wedding day goes by. Before you know it, it will be over. Hang in there and keep smiling.

[Anonymous]

In my 20s I felt miserable because of friends/ family getting married and I was still single...
Fake your happiness for your brother's sake.
My brother got married, the next day I went to a blind date (set up by my aunt-"While you're in town there's a man I met...")
I was hung over, had NO expectations (zero) yet there he was, my DH and father of my 3 my 3 kids... I was 29.
You can be a hero OP. This is the time when you should think- this is not about me, this is about my brother. I know it is SO HARD. You will get through this. Grace under fire. Keep your sense of humor.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you all so much for these responses - having a rough night to say the least and these really made a difference. And to the PP - that’s an awesome story

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, are you guys Mormon or something? No one gets married in their early 20s these days!

Most Southerners do as well. I went to college in the South and most of my friends who were from the South or who stayed in the area post-grad got married by 25. I was still single at 29 and received nothing but pity from them. One even offered to get me an appointment with her cousin who is a fertility specialist so I could look into freezing my eggs before all of the good ones were gone.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t get married to DH until I was 40. Most of my friends who got married in their early 20’s are divorce and on their 2nd marriage.

Life is not a race. Getting there first doesn’t mean he wins.

And lots of women I know with that attitude (and panic) about not being married yet, end up in horrible marriage or divorced. The goal isn’t to get married. The goal is to find happiness and fulfillment in your life. And when a guy comes along that adds to your happiness and fulfillment, you may ask him to join you on your journey...or you might not

[Anonymous]

Aww I feel you op. My younger cousin and slightly older friend got engaged and planned weddings two months apart. I was so down. But it was motivation to get working out again and be the best version of myself at those weddings. I lost 25 pounds by the time of the second wedding (and had a blast, dateless, at both) and met my now husband one month later. I hope you end up having nice time. Take care!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, are you guys Mormon or something? No one gets married in their early 20s these days!

Most Southerners do as well. I went to college in the South and most of my friends who were from the South or who stayed in the area post-grad got married by 25. I was still single at 29 and received nothing but pity from them. One even offered to get me an appointment with her cousin who is a fertility specialist so I could look into freezing my eggs before all of the good ones were gone.

OP: not Mormon, very Christian. I am religious, but nowhere near the way a lot of people I grew up with were (get married super young, don’t sleep with anyone before marriage, etc). It really skews your perspective as to what’s normal.