My DH is on a three week freaking business trip on the other side of the moon and I’m at home doing the full time job mom thing to a two and a half year old who is leaning in to the full on toddler life and is turning the bedtime routine, among other things, into a total bid to break me. Would you mention this when your DH calls? He calls in the morning his time which is prime bedtime meltdown. When he asks how it’s going I’ve been telling him the truth. This child is crushing me and I’m exhausted. But then this gets DH all worried and guilty that he’s left me alone for so long. It also doesn’t help that he’s in a v glamorous location and when we FaceTime I can see the Asian beach he’s on. When your spouse is traveling have you made the decision to be like “we’re great! Focus on work!” Or are you like “actually his been screaming for 30min and just learned about scratching, also the hot water heater is out.” |
LOL. I do both. A good relationship, you can laugh about it. Hang in there. |
Depends on how sucky his location is and how hard he tried to get out of the trip.
He begged and pleaded but now he’s in the desert working 20 hours a day and getting shot at? Everything is perfect at home, honey, we miss you. He volunteered for a semi-vacation and spends most of the day by the pool? Tell it like it is. |
Make a list of everything that you want from said country and he better darn well bring it all back. And book a spa weekend for when he returns.
Yes, tell him that you are struggling. That is ok. But tell him some of the cute things that are happening. I know it is hard and that the timing of the call is awful but think of some of the good things that happened as well. |
Tell the truth but don’t be a martyr. Hire a sitter. |
+1. My husband travels a fair amount. I work in biglaw and we have 2 kids and a third coming any day. I give him a nightly run down of the shot that transpired that evening and we commiserate. He knows what a shit show our live is at this current stage, so if I was like everything is great he would be more worried! |
Yup. Tell him that is very hard on you and you're doing your best. Come up with a better time for him to call. He gets to sleep in a bed with no interruptions so he can make time.
My dh deployed when dd was 1-2 years old (11 months) and is then gone for 1-2 weeks at a time throughout the year. I work full time so I hear you. It's very challenging. Not to scare you but it'll be a different challenge when he comes back. My dd is one with a one week no daddy but 2 weeks throws her off and the first 3 days back it's all a shit show at bedtime in a different way. Make it easy on yourself. Drop everything except work and kid. Dinner is easy: pasta, eggs, etc |
Seriously. It's one small kid and 3 weeks. |
A little of both. Maybe he'll log into Drizzly and have a bottle of wine delivered within the hour. |
Lol, sah , check your privilege |
OP, this is one thing that would really annoy me. So it's convenient for him to talk but worst time for you? Excuse me? Have him stay up late and call at a more reasonable time for you. Things will seem better. |
Lol, single mom here, rolling my eyes. Toughen up, sweet cakes. |
Totally agree |
I tell him because the least he can do is listen to me bitch. I have no other outlet to complain to. It makes me feel better to know he cares. He also is extra helpful when he returns home.
He travels a lot and I don't complain nonstop but when it's warranted I tell him the truth. |
Plus 1 |