MIL buys inappropriate clothing for 6yo

[Anonymous]

MIL buys age-inappropriate clothing items for DD, and I’m not sure if we should continue to graciously accept or say something.

Over the winter, boots very similar to these:

https://www.overstock.com/Clothing-Shoes/Page-65K-Girls-Youth-Fashion-Round-Toe-Low-Heel-Slouch-Back-Lace-Zipper-Boots-Shoes/14384007/product.html?

We let DD6 use them for dress up play, but she never wore them outside. DD since let it slip that she isn’t alllowed to wear them outside, and MIL was sort of shocked since they are so “cute”. We said because of snow and ice, we didn’t want a fall.

Recently, these crop shirts fro Justice:

https://www.shopjustice.com/embellished-boxy-tee/prd-15041229?ref_page=search&#color/602

She says they are so cute and like the crop tops we all wore in the 80s. Needless to say, our 6yo will not be wearing this shirt.

There have been other items we don’t think are age appropriate, and we usually either try to return (sometimes she snips off the tags to hide the price), or donate. But she gets very defensive if DD doesn’t come over wearing these items. We tried taking a picture of her in them and sending the pic to MIL, but that doesn’t stop the questions in person. What else can or should we do?

[Anonymous]

Act oblivious when she asks.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, the boots are ugly and trashy.
When I clicked on the link for the shirt, I was expecting something like “I Don’t Kiss and Tell” in sparkly letters. To find a unicorn on a boxy T-shirt was disappointing. Not sure what the big deal is. What’s the problem with the shirt?

[Anonymous]

I see why the boots are inappropriate but I don't get why the t-shirt is inappropriate. I see a tiny bit of skin at her midriff but that's all.

[Anonymous]

DH and you (but mostly DH) needs to talk to her, very directly, once.

My SIL started buying DD all these cute yet frilly clothes and I had DH tell her "we just want DD to be comfortable." Now she buys her leggings and tunics, which is MUCH better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, the boots are ugly and trashy.
When I clicked on the link for the shirt, I was expecting something like “I Don’t Kiss and Tell” in sparkly letters. To find a unicorn on a boxy T-shirt was disappointing. Not sure what the big deal is. What’s the problem with the shirt?

It’s hard to tell on the model, but it’s suuuper short. It’s a belly shirt.

[Anonymous]

Tell her you feel the clothing is inappropriate. "MIL, this top/skirt didn't fit DD properly. Her belly/rear end is uncovered." I can't believe how short and provocative some of the little girl clothing is compared to the shorts and t-shirts I've bought my son. My daughter ends up wearing a lot of her big brother's clothing.

My MIL loves to buy our kids cutesy outfits that say "Handsome", "Mommy's Best Friend", "Grandma is my favorite"... We've asked her nicely not to buy clothing with these slogans. We'd rather she not buy the kids clothing at all because she never asks us for sizes and most of the clothes don't even fit, and can't be returned because she buys on clearance and takes the tags off. She ignores us and keeps doing it. Now everything she buys goes into our Goodwill pile, and if she asks, we're truthful and say it wasn't our style or it didn't fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, the boots are ugly and trashy.
When I clicked on the link for the shirt, I was expecting something like “I Don’t Kiss and Tell” in sparkly letters. To find a unicorn on a boxy T-shirt was disappointing. Not sure what the big deal is. What’s the problem with the shirt?

It’s hard to tell on the model, but it’s suuuper short. It’s a belly shirt.

It's a crop top. For a 6 year old... no thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, the boots are ugly and trashy.
When I clicked on the link for the shirt, I was expecting something like “I Don’t Kiss and Tell” in sparkly letters. To find a unicorn on a boxy T-shirt was disappointing. Not sure what the big deal is. What’s the problem with the shirt?

It’s hard to tell on the model, but it’s suuuper short. It’s a belly shirt.

My daughter has a few crop tops about the same length, but wears a longer tank top underneath.

I agree the boots are problematic. Personally, I'd say that we like our kid to wear stuff that's easy to run and play in, since she's so active. And, I'd be honest and say we'd prefer not to put her in heels for a few more years.

[Anonymous]

I would just tell her straight up the boots are inappropriate for a 6 year old. No heels until middle school.

The shirt you can work with, add a tank top underneath and it's fine.

[Anonymous]

My MIL won’t listen. I leave the clothes at her house and tell her to return or donate them herself.

[Anonymous]

"We understand you want Janie to wear X and Y outside of the house, but we don't think they are suitable for outside of the house. If you'd like to send us links or photos of what you're thinking of in the future, I'd be happy to talk through what is best for outside of the house."

The crop top is fine if you put a little tank top or something underneath--that is how I would solve that easily solve-able "problem."

You took a good approach on the boots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see why the boots are inappropriate but I don't get why the t-shirt is inappropriate. I see a tiny bit of skin at her midriff but that's all.

This, I don't see the issue with the shirt. Exchange what you can and say thank you and that's it. At least she tries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her you feel the clothing is inappropriate. "MIL, this top/skirt didn't fit DD properly. Her belly/rear end is uncovered." I can't believe how short and provocative some of the little girl clothing is compared to the shorts and t-shirts I've bought my son. My daughter ends up wearing a lot of her big brother's clothing.

My MIL loves to buy our kids cutesy outfits that say "Handsome", "Mommy's Best Friend", "Grandma is my favorite"... We've asked her nicely not to buy clothing with these slogans. We'd rather she not buy the kids clothing at all because she never asks us for sizes and most of the clothes don't even fit, and can't be returned because she buys on clearance and takes the tags off. She ignores us and keeps doing it. Now everything she buys goes into our Goodwill pile, and if she asks, we're truthful and say it wasn't our style or it didn't fit.

Nothing wrong with those slogans. You sound nasty and controlling. Just send her the new sizes every so often and tell her a size up from what you need.

[Anonymous]

These are hilarious and I would donate any crop shirt given to us but I know as tacky as I find the boots my daughter would feel invincible in them. They are crazy yes but if your dd wants to wear them and scuff them up a few times at the playground let her and then toss them.