Do you and friends talk about your salaries? How does it come up?

[Anonymous]

We literally never do. But a 40-something man at dinner last night was talking about his old fraternity brothers and it sounded like he had a really good handle on the salaries of 12 to 20 of them. I couldn’t wrap my head around how that comes up in conversations amongst friends. Or was he just ballparking because he kind of knew the industries they were in and payscale for certain titles?

[Anonymous]

Never but I think it is largely because I am super conscious about it since mine is clearly the highest be a crazy multiple and it makes me super self conscious.

[Anonymous]

Never because mine is the lowest! Most of my friends from college are doctors and lawyers. I'm a bureaucrat with a PhD.

[Anonymous]

Never. I’m the poor friend and I’m too embarrassed!

But I can guess what they likely make based on their industry and Glassdoor.

[Anonymous]

No, but I hate how salaries are so secretive.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure if the PP are women or not, but women talk about salaries less than men and there is a theory that it contributes to the wage gap because women go into negotiations with less knowledge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, but I hate how salaries are so secretive.

It’s for the best. That information can be really divisive.

[Anonymous]

Mine is high and my friends have no idea. I don't let on because some of the women in my group are really struggling. I kind of wish I could let one of mine know because she is always trying to get me to come work at her company at significantly below my current salary. She has told me about three openings in her company and I always just say I am not interested. I kind of wish I could say that is half of what I am currently making, but I don't want her to feel bad.

[Anonymous]

I have always worked in public sector jobs where my sakary is a matter of public record but I don’t actually know what my friends make

[Anonymous]

Mine is public record. My friends’ aren’t. It has never come up.

I do know how much CS my divorced friends receive so I assume that either they make much less than I do or their exes make way more than my ex.

[Anonymous]

We have never talked about salaries, ever. I get that it’s possible that a friend is secretly struggling or secretly extremely rich, but in the case of our friends, it seems unlikely. Everyone’s job title/industry/education kind of clicks exactly with their home/cars/lifestyle. I started my career later than many of my friends, and when I got my first FT salaried job I began to notice how infrequently work came up in conversation once it was a big part of my life. Like no one ever said, man I got a shitty review or yay I got a bonus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but I hate how salaries are so secretive.

It’s for the best. That information can be really divisive.

I think within an industry it only helps the employer when its secretive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have never talked about salaries, ever. I get that it’s possible that a friend is secretly struggling or secretly extremely rich, but in the case of our friends, it seems unlikely. Everyone’s job title/industry/education kind of clicks exactly with their home/cars/lifestyle. I started my career later than many of my friends, and when I got my first FT salaried job I began to notice how infrequently work came up in conversation once it was a big part of my life. Like no one ever said, man I got a shitty review or yay I got a bonus.

That is true for the spenders, but not the savers. In my group people might think I am just doing ok if you look at those things, but what they don't know is how I save and how much I have in my investment accounts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have never talked about salaries, ever. I get that it’s possible that a friend is secretly struggling or secretly extremely rich, but in the case of our friends, it seems unlikely. Everyone’s job title/industry/education kind of clicks exactly with their home/cars/lifestyle. I started my career later than many of my friends, and when I got my first FT salaried job I began to notice how infrequently work came up in conversation once it was a big part of my life. Like no one ever said, man I got a shitty review or yay I got a bonus.

That is true for the spenders, but not the savers. In my group people might think I am just doing ok if you look at those things, but what they don't know is how I save and how much I have in my investment accounts.

Definitely can't judge on those things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine is high and my friends have no idea. I don't let on because some of the women in my group are really struggling. I kind of wish I could let one of mine know because she is always trying to get me to come work at her company at significantly below my current salary. She has told me about three openings in her company and I always just say I am not interested. I kind of wish I could say that is half of what I am currently making, but I don't want her to feel bad.

I get that. I am a SAHM, but have investment income that I could survive on that alone. I have a friend who it always asking if I would be interested in providing childcare for her kids over break --thinking that offering my $100 for the week is incentive.