Do you and friends talk about your salaries? How does it come up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work in IT project management with tons of experience and experience in cybersecurity.

On about 5 occasions my job came up in a social situation, a man (it's always been a man) shows surprise, says his work is looking for somebody with my experience and offers me a job.

I ask how much are they paying, they say ~$130K and then I say that would be a paycut, so probably not.

which is part of reason men make more as they ask salaries so they know if underpaid

[Anonymous]

I have with a handful of close girlfriends. Two make similar to me since we are all in education...one is a doctor and makes more than 3x what I make...she came from humble.beginnings and I am very proud of her

[Anonymous]

Neither my DH nor I share salary information. My parents were the type to count everyone else’s money, and all their gossiping just rings in my ear.

[Anonymous]

No but it becomes obvious over time through purchases: cars, vacations, hous s, private school, college, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have never talked about salaries, ever. I get that it’s possible that a friend is secretly struggling or secretly extremely rich, but in the case of our friends, it seems unlikely. Everyone’s job title/industry/education kind of clicks exactly with their home/cars/lifestyle. I started my career later than many of my friends, and when I got my first FT salaried job I began to notice how infrequently work came up in conversation once it was a big part of my life. Like no one ever said, man I got a shitty review or yay I got a bonus.

That is true for the spenders, but not the savers. In my group people might think I am just doing ok if you look at those things, but what they don't know is how I save and how much I have in my investment accounts.

I just assume everyone is a saver. If they also have expensive things, it’s because they have a f*ck ton of money.

It’s nicer to assume that and give people the benefit of he doubt than vice versa.

[Anonymous]

My husband works in finance. I don’t think it’s something people really talk about but at least in his area, bonuses are derived mathematically based on earnings so everyone can work it out if they really want to. Plus they all make a ton of money so people are pretty open about their splurges: exotic cars, fancy vacations, private school for multiple kids, second or even third homes, etc.

[Anonymous]

Most of my friends in DC are federal employees. We talk about our salaries. It's public record.

[Anonymous]

Never.

[Anonymous]

My salary has always been public record. But I also own my choice to be a government attorney. My best friends from college run the gamut from events planner to law firm partner. We are generally pretty open about these things and most of them asked me various questions about the new tax law since I’m a tax attorney. I’ve known these women 20+ years, there’s not much we don’t know about each other by this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I definitely do I don’t understand why friends would keep that info from each other. I’m pretty upfront with it and so are my friends

Three pages into half the people explaining why they keep their info private and you still don't get why other people make different choices than you? Impressive.

What PP really means is that those reasons are stupid.

[Anonymous]

I’m a federal employee, and rarely discuss my salary with anyone other than my wife or my accountant. Where it will come up is with former colleagues who have left to go to the private sector, in the context of “This is how salary negotiation works inthe private sector”.