I’m secular- what can I offer my kids instead of church?

[Anonymous]

I’m secular but DD keeps asking to go to church and tells people we pray (we don’t but her very religious grandparents do). It seems like she’s looking for some type of structure and I’m sure the church thing sounds fun from the description from the other kids in her class. For a variety of reasons, I’m am no longer religious but want to give my kids some tradition, routines and social network with a strong value and strong community outside of school. We have a good community in our neighborhood, etc but I’m looking for something more. Any ideas?

[Anonymous]

Can you find a church you can relate to? Open minded but also a community? Maybe go visit some churches with your DD and see if you can find one you both like.

[Anonymous]

Ethical Humanism

[Anonymous]

Literature with "a moral to the story" and mindfulness, mediation, quiet walks in the woods. People who do pray in the practice of a faith will explain to you that those are the same as prayer, but the words of prayers are a focusing mantra of sorts that serve to quickly brink your mind to a meditative state through practice and repetition.

FWIW, many people who are turned off by prayer focus on the old fashioned and flowery submissive words, but that is not the point of the prayer. (and p.s. no one thinks God is a old white guy sitting on a throne in the clouds).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m secular but DD keeps asking to go to church and tells people we pray (we don’t but her very religious grandparents do). It seems like she’s looking for some type of structure and I’m sure the church thing sounds fun from the description from the other kids in her class. For a variety of reasons, I’m am no longer religious but want to give my kids some tradition, routines and social network with a strong value and strong community outside of school. We have a good community in our neighborhood, etc but I’m looking for something more. Any ideas?

Unitarian Church? Seriously, I just drove by one near where I live and the sign outside said this is what we believe: the it said "Love is love," Black Lives Matter;" something about immigration, gender equality -- I was driving too fast to catch them all, but none of the statements were "religious."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ethical Humanism

Can you tell me more? Is there a community with some type of gathering?

I do mindfulness stuff with her, and she seems receptive to that.

[Anonymous]

Unitarian Universalism.

[Anonymous]

I don’t really understand your post op. Are you atheist or agnostic? If not, and your child has expressed an interest in church, just find a decent church and go as a family. Or, communicate to her that church is not something that you do.

I have a lot of issues with my church but I continue to go for the positive aspects that you list. I have not found an alternative that is not church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Unitarian Church? Seriously, I just drove by one near where I live and the sign outside said this is what we believe: the it said "Love is love," Black Lives Matter;" something about immigration, gender equality -- I was driving too fast to catch them all, but none of the statements were "religious."

I agree about looking into a Unitarian Universalist (UU) congregation. Here are their 7 Principles:

1st Principle: The inherent worth and dignity of every person;
2nd Principle: Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;
3rd Principle: Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;
4th Principle: A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;
5th Principle: The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large;
6th Principle: The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;
7th Principle: Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.

[Anonymous]

Cub scouts.
Exactly what you are looking for.
There is a duty to god requirement though.

[Anonymous]

You might also look into the Washington Ethical Society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t really understand your post op. Are you atheist or agnostic? If not, and your child has expressed an interest in church, just find a decent church and go as a family. Or, communicate to her that church is not something that you do.

I have a lot of issues with my church but I continue to go for the positive aspects that you list. I have not found an alternative that is not church.

I am confused too, are you looking for a Church or a group that has good values, structure, sense of community?
Girl Scouts or something similar maybe, or a volunteer organization in your area

[Anonymous]

I know a few atheists who belong to a Unitarian church. They enjoy the community and the social action activities. But there are sermons and praying if your daughter wants that.

[Anonymous]

If she is asking to go to church, why not let her go to church?

I am just getting "back into" religion and really enjoy the community, the sermons that keep me grounded morally, etc even though I have a ways to go with my faith

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m secular but DD keeps asking to go to church and tells people we pray (we don’t but her very religious grandparents do). It seems like she’s looking for some type of structure and I’m sure the church thing sounds fun from the description from the other kids in her class. For a variety of reasons, I’m am no longer religious but want to give my kids some tradition, routines and social network with a strong value and strong community outside of school. We have a good community in our neighborhood, etc but I’m looking for something more. Any ideas?

This is literally why we went to a Unitarian Universalist congregation. Try it, you might like it.