I’m secular- what can I offer my kids instead of church?

[Anonymous]

Why would you assume that not worshipping God could ever be a substitute for worshipping God?

[Anonymous]

I agree, UU could be a good option. This might sound weird, but I would also consider Catholicism. A lot of Catholics are just there for community and rituals. My Catholic church doesn’t feel super religious or Jesus-y. It’s just a nice community with a lot of people who like the structure and tradition of church. I think there’s probably a lot of Episcopal churches that are like that too. It’s not like a baptist church where everyone is singing and crying and asking if you’ve been saved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give church a try?

Why would she do that if she's secular?

OP, I agree with UU. It's also great you're doing mindfulness things with them.

Maybe this feeling she is having/ her child is having is calling her to give it a try. We all change, evolve. Be open to new experiences.

This is OP. It sounds like UU is something that I should try.
To PP suggesting giving church a try- no thanks- that’s the point of my question, something other than church. this is not “a calling” for me/ my children to return/go to church.

May I respectfully ask why? You say that you are "secular," but not atheist/agnostic. What does that mean? Plus, you want something that basically has all of the characteristics of church but is not church.

Like most people’s reliogious beliefs, it’s too complicated for an online forum discussion- but briefly, wouldn’t consider myself agnostic since I do believe in the existence of something greater than us. I could be atheist since my definition of that something greater than us is so different from the way god has been taught to me through all my years of catholic education and Protestant church attendance.
And yep, I want all the good of church without it being far outweighed by the negatives (as seen by a progressive minded person) -is that asking too much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give church a try?

Why would she do that if she's secular?

OP, I agree with UU. It's also great you're doing mindfulness things with them.

Maybe this feeling she is having/ her child is having is calling her to give it a try. We all change, evolve. Be open to new experiences.

This is OP. It sounds like UU is something that I should try.
To PP suggesting giving church a try- no thanks- that’s the point of my question, something other than church. this is not “a calling” for me/ my children to return/go to church.

May I respectfully ask why? You say that you are "secular," but not atheist/agnostic. What does that mean? Plus, you want something that basically has all of the characteristics of church but is not church.

Like most people’s reliogious beliefs, it’s too complicated for an online forum discussion- but briefly, wouldn’t consider myself agnostic since I do believe in the existence of something greater than us. I could be atheist since my definition of that something greater than us is so different from the way god has been taught to me through all my years of catholic education and Protestant church attendance.
And yep, I want all the good of church without it being far outweighed by the negatives (as seen by a progressive minded person) -is that asking too much?

Nope. You sound like many UU members.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unitarian Universalism.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give church a try?

Why would she do that if she's secular?

OP, I agree with UU. It's also great you're doing mindfulness things with them.

Maybe this feeling she is having/ her child is having is calling her to give it a try. We all change, evolve. Be open to new experiences.

Yes, but she said church isn't for her, so suggesting it isn't helpful.

Wow, PP, you sure are defensive about that. What are you so afraid of about church?

Yes, OP, why not give it a try? God does work in mysterious ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give church a try?

Why would she do that if she's secular?

OP, I agree with UU. It's also great you're doing mindfulness things with them.

Maybe this feeling she is having/ her child is having is calling her to give it a try. We all change, evolve. Be open to new experiences.

This is OP. It sounds like UU is something that I should try.
To PP suggesting giving church a try- no thanks- that’s the point of my question, something other than church. this is not “a calling” for me/ my children to return/go to church.

May I respectfully ask why? You say that you are "secular," but not atheist/agnostic. What does that mean? Plus, you want something that basically has all of the characteristics of church but is not church.

Like most people’s reliogious beliefs, it’s too complicated for an online forum discussion- but briefly, wouldn’t consider myself agnostic since I do believe in the existence of something greater than us. I could be atheist since my definition of that something greater than us is so different from the way god has been taught to me through all my years of catholic education and Protestant church attendance.
And yep, I want all the good of church without it being far outweighed by the negatives (as seen by a progressive minded person) -is that asking too much?

With all due respect, OP, you're not asking for a church at all, or any reasonable substitute. You could find what you're looking for (community with people who simply affirm your limited views) at your neighborhood watering hole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give church a try?

Why would she do that if she's secular?

OP, I agree with UU. It's also great you're doing mindfulness things with them.

Maybe this feeling she is having/ her child is having is calling her to give it a try. We all change, evolve. Be open to new experiences.

This is OP. It sounds like UU is something that I should try.
To PP suggesting giving church a try- no thanks- that’s the point of my question, something other than church. this is not “a calling” for me/ my children to return/go to church.

It might be a "calling" for you daughter. I have twins and have exposed my kids to literally the same of everything. They have been exposed to church but not a lot. One seems to have an organic and innate belief in god or spirits. There are lots of spirits discussed and afterlife and it might even be akin to animism. The other has absolutely no interest or apparent belief. I am more like the first. I cannot explain it and was not brought up with church but really was curious and later took myself. So, I think your Universal Unitarian plan sounds good but I suggest avoiding negative or disparaging characterization of church or God or spirits around your child. As I am sure you know, your opinion is so important and you want to keep that discussion open even if it is something you don't particular believe. Shutting it down as not part of your family won't necessarily change how she feels but more how she acts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give church a try?

Why would she do that if she's secular?

OP, I agree with UU. It's also great you're doing mindfulness things with them.

Maybe this feeling she is having/ her child is having is calling her to give it a try. We all change, evolve. Be open to new experiences.

Yes, but she said church isn't for her, so suggesting it isn't helpful.

Wow, PP, you sure are defensive about that. What are you so afraid of about church?

Yes, OP, why not give it a try? God does work in mysterious ways.

She's made a decision about what she believes. Why are you trying to foist church onto her? I'm not afraid of church -- my mom is Catholic and I've been to mass many times. I was raised Jewish. I have ample exposure to it. I have decided I don't believe in Judeo-Christian religions; my beliefs aren't compatible with it.

It's fairly patronizing to respond to someone who says "this isn't for me" with "just try it; God works in mysterious ways." Why not respect what she believes in?

[Anonymous]

Wow there are a lot of really annoying religious people on this thread. If you're trying to convince OP to give church a try you're not doing a great job of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Unitarian Church? Seriously, I just drove by one near where I live and the sign outside said this is what we believe: the it said "Love is love," Black Lives Matter;" something about immigration, gender equality -- I was driving too fast to catch them all, but none of the statements were "religious."

I agree about looking into a Unitarian Universalist (UU) congregation. Here are their 7 Principles:

1st Principle: The inherent worth and dignity of every person;
2nd Principle: Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;
3rd Principle: Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;
4th Principle: A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;
5th Principle: The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large;
6th Principle: The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;
7th Principle: Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.

I know the Catholic Church has it's issues, and some may argue that there's some major hypocracy in some areas, but this is basically catholic social teaching

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m secular but DD keeps asking to go to church and tells people we pray (we don’t but her very religious grandparents do). It seems like she’s looking for some type of structure and I’m sure the church thing sounds fun from the description from the other kids in her class. For a variety of reasons, I’m am no longer religious but want to give my kids some tradition, routines and social network with a strong value and strong community outside of school. We have a good community in our neighborhood, etc but I’m looking for something more. Any ideas?

Unitarian Church? Seriously, I just drove by one near where I live and the sign outside said this is what we believe: the it said "Love is love," Black Lives Matter;" something about immigration, gender equality -- I was driving too fast to catch them all, but none of the statements were "religious."

I love the IDEA of UUs, and I agree 100% with the statements. But I agree, it feels like it has become some sort of activist for the underdogs -- like, the manifestation of progressivism (again, which I actually am in alignment with) vs. spirituality in itself

[Anonymous]

Maybe the answer is then: if you're secular, there is no valid "secular church" alternative. You gave that up when you gave up church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give church a try?

Why would she do that if she's secular?

OP, I agree with UU. It's also great you're doing mindfulness things with them.

Maybe this feeling she is having/ her child is having is calling her to give it a try. We all change, evolve. Be open to new experiences.

Yes, but she said church isn't for her, so suggesting it isn't helpful.

Wow, PP, you sure are defensive about that. What are you so afraid of about church?

Yes, OP, why not give it a try? God does work in mysterious ways.

Gee, god does work in mysterious ways... but I never figured out where there was any good in pediatric cancer- or any other major source of population level devastation and suffering for that matter. Any why oh why would god go through the trouble of telling someone to go to church but not curing some innocent child with hundreds of people praying for her? Hum, must just be his mysterious ways...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give church a try?

Why would she do that if she's secular?

OP, I agree with UU. It's also great you're doing mindfulness things with them.

Maybe this feeling she is having/ her child is having is calling her to give it a try. We all change, evolve. Be open to new experiences.

Yes, but she said church isn't for her, so suggesting it isn't helpful.

Wow, PP, you sure are defensive about that. What are you so afraid of about church?

Yes, OP, why not give it a try? God does work in mysterious ways.

Gee, god does work in mysterious ways... but I never figured out where there was any good in pediatric cancer- or any other major source of population level devastation and suffering for that matter. Any why oh why would god go through the trouble of telling someone to go to church but not curing some innocent child with hundreds of people praying for her? Hum, must just be his mysterious ways...

You are misunderstanding God. God isn't Disneyland. Go learn about it somewhere real.