I’m secular- what can I offer my kids instead of church?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give church a try?

Why would she do that if she's secular?

OP, I agree with UU. It's also great you're doing mindfulness things with them.

Maybe this feeling she is having/ her child is having is calling her to give it a try. We all change, evolve. Be open to new experiences.

Yes, but she said church isn't for her, so suggesting it isn't helpful.

Wow, PP, you sure are defensive about that. What are you so afraid of about church?

Yes, OP, why not give it a try? God does work in mysterious ways.

She's made a decision about what she believes. Why are you trying to foist church onto her? I'm not afraid of church -- my mom is Catholic and I've been to mass many times. I was raised Jewish. I have ample exposure to it. I have decided I don't believe in Judeo-Christian religions; my beliefs aren't compatible with it.

It's fairly patronizing to respond to someone who says "this isn't for me" with "just try it; God works in mysterious ways." Why not respect what she believes in?

And you are obviously terrified at the idea that OP might actually change her view, which means.... perhaps... that you could potentially change your view as well. And I know that can be scary when you are so antagonistic about religion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give church a try?

Why would she do that if she's secular?

OP, I agree with UU. It's also great you're doing mindfulness things with them.

Maybe this feeling she is having/ her child is having is calling her to give it a try. We all change, evolve. Be open to new experiences.

Yes, but she said church isn't for her, so suggesting it isn't helpful.

Wow, PP, you sure are defensive about that. What are you so afraid of about church?

Yes, OP, why not give it a try? God does work in mysterious ways.

Gee, god does work in mysterious ways... but I never figured out where there was any good in pediatric cancer- or any other major source of population level devastation and suffering for that matter. Any why oh why would god go through the trouble of telling someone to go to church but not curing some innocent child with hundreds of people praying for her? Hum, must just be his mysterious ways...

This has been discussed in other threads ad nauseum, plus it is so condescending. Do you really think that religious believers have not considered why suffering exists? Do you really believe that other people are that stupid, that they literally do not think about this?

Its also condescending to tell an atheist/ secular person to try church because “God works in mysterious ways”

Perhaps, but this particular atheist/ secular person's child is interested in at least some aspects of religion. Are you saying that OP should simply force her views on her children? Does that extend to all views? At what age does this stop?

[Anonymous]

Lots of cookies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]If she is asking to go to church, why not let her go to church?[/b]

I am just getting "back into" religion and really enjoy the community, the sermons that keep me grounded morally, etc even though I have a ways to go with my faith

Can she attend services with her grandparents? She wants to go to church. What if God is real and you prevented her from seeking the truth? I'm feeling grateful my children hate church and feel no pull to go, btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ethical Humanism

Can you tell me more? Is there a community with some type of gathering?

I do mindfulness stuff with her, and she seems receptive to that.

Here is a link to the Washington Ethical Society:

http://ethicalsociety.org/

As I understand it, there are kids classes and community gatherings. I'm guessing its like Unitarian Universalism but I'm not sure.

Here is their statement of purpose:

The Washington Ethical Society is a humanistic congregation that affirms the worth of every person. We strive through our relationships to elicit the best in the human spirit. With faith in human goodness, we appreciate each person’s unique capacities. We joyfully celebrate together and support each other through life. We nurture a sense of reverence and responsibility for each other and the earth. We invite you to join our community of children and adults as we work for a world where love and justice cross all borders.

My understanding of the ethical society is that it's usually Jewish people who are no longer religious. UUs are usually Christians who are no longer religious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ethical Humanism

Can you tell me more? Is there a community with some type of gathering?

I do mindfulness stuff with her, and she seems receptive to that.

Here is a link to the Washington Ethical Society:

http://ethicalsociety.org/

As I understand it, there are kids classes and community gatherings. I'm guessing its like Unitarian Universalism but I'm not sure.

Here is their statement of purpose:

The Washington Ethical Society is a humanistic congregation that affirms the worth of every person. We strive through our relationships to elicit the best in the human spirit. With faith in human goodness, we appreciate each person’s unique capacities. We joyfully celebrate together and support each other through life. We nurture a sense of reverence and responsibility for each other and the earth. We invite you to join our community of children and adults as we work for a world where love and justice cross all borders.

My understanding of the ethical society is that it's usually Jewish people who are no longer religious. UUs are usually Christians who are no longer religious.

Thank you! This is the insight I was looking for!

[Anonymous]

This is literally Machar.org -- tons of recovering Christians and Jews teaching morals to kids -- all athiests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m secular but DD keeps asking to go to church and tells people we pray (we don’t but her very religious grandparents do). It seems like she’s looking for some type of structure and I’m sure the church thing sounds fun from the description from the other kids in her class. For a variety of reasons, I’m am no longer religious but want to give my kids some tradition, routines and social network with a strong value and strong community outside of school. We have a good community in our neighborhood, etc but I’m looking for something more. Any ideas?

Unitarian Church? Seriously, I just drove by one near where I live and the sign outside said this is what we believe: the it said "Love is love," Black Lives Matter;" something about immigration, gender equality -- I was driving too fast to catch them all, but none of the statements were "religious."

I feel the same way as OP, the feel UU's are too liberal politically. I'd like to find a place that is religion lite, but not all filled with SJW's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m secular but DD keeps asking to go to church and tells people we pray (we don’t but her very religious grandparents do). It seems like she’s looking for some type of structure and I’m sure the church thing sounds fun from the description from the other kids in her class. For a variety of reasons, I’m am no longer religious but want to give my kids some tradition, routines and social network with a strong value and strong community outside of school. We have a good community in our neighborhood, etc but I’m looking for something more. Any ideas?

Unitarian Church? Seriously, I just drove by one near where I live and the sign outside said this is what we believe: the it said "Love is love," Black Lives Matter;" something about immigration, gender equality -- I was driving too fast to catch them all, but none of the statements were "religious."

I feel the same way as OP, the feel UU's are too liberal politically. I'd like to find a place that is religion lite, but not all filled with SJW's.

So, you want to go somewhere where people think about kindness and ethics but don’t act on them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give church a try?

Why would she do that if she's secular?

OP, I agree with UU. It's also great you're doing mindfulness things with them.

Maybe this feeling she is having/ her child is having is calling her to give it a try. We all change, evolve. Be open to new experiences.

Yes, but she said church isn't for her, so suggesting it isn't helpful.

Wow, PP, you sure are defensive about that. What are you so afraid of about church?

Yes, OP, why not give it a try? God does work in mysterious ways.

She's made a decision about what she believes. Why are you trying to foist church onto her? I'm not afraid of church -- my mom is Catholic and I've been to mass many times. I was raised Jewish. I have ample exposure to it. I have decided I don't believe in Judeo-Christian religions; my beliefs aren't compatible with it.

It's fairly patronizing to respond to someone who says "this isn't for me" with "just try it; God works in mysterious ways." Why not respect what she believes in?

And you are obviously terrified at the idea that OP might actually change her view, which means.... perhaps... that you could potentially change your view as well. And I know that can be scary when you are so antagonistic about religion.

I'm not at all terrified. I'm also not antagonistic towards religion; I'm only antagonistic towards people who respond to someone who said "I have these beliefs and am looking for a place of community for my kids" with "No no no -- just TRY religion -- God works in mysterious ways!"

Stop trying to foist religion onto someone who has said she is secular.

[Anonymous]

OP, even if you don’t want to push religion on your daughter. Don’t be the parent that blocks it either. Be supportive of her decision. If she wants a church and she looks up to her grandparents, allow her to have a conversation with her grandparents about the kind of church she is interested in. There is no reason why you should feel the need to trick your daughter to make yourself be comfortable. This blood will be on your hands should you cause her to fall into something that you wouldn’t want her to (Scientology and/or any other cults) and something that grips her entirely more than a regular church of prayer and songs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m secular but DD keeps asking to go to church and tells people we pray (we don’t but her very religious grandparents do). It seems like she’s looking for some type of structure and I’m sure the church thing sounds fun from the description from the other kids in her class. For a variety of reasons, I’m am no longer religious but want to give my kids some tradition, routines and social network with a strong value and strong community outside of school. We have a good community in our neighborhood, etc but I’m looking for something more. Any ideas?

Unitarian Church? Seriously, I just drove by one near where I live and the sign outside said this is what we believe: the it said "Love is love," Black Lives Matter;" something about immigration, gender equality -- I was driving too fast to catch them all, but none of the statements were "religious."

I love the IDEA of UUs, and I agree 100% with the statements. But I agree, it feels like it has become some sort of activist for the underdogs -- like, the manifestation of progressivism (again, which I actually am in alignment with) vs. spirituality in itself

You've pinpointed what I experienced last time I went to the UU church in DC. I know there is lots of work to be done for the underdogs, but the identity politics has edged out the ethical soul searching and shared humanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m secular but DD keeps asking to go to church and tells people we pray (we don’t but her very religious grandparents do). It seems like she’s looking for some type of structure and I’m sure the church thing sounds fun from the description from the other kids in her class. For a variety of reasons, I’m am no longer religious but want to give my kids some tradition, routines and social network with a strong value and strong community outside of school. We have a good community in our neighborhood, etc but I’m looking for something more. Any ideas?

Unitarian Church? Seriously, I just drove by one near where I live and the sign outside said this is what we believe: the it said "Love is love," Black Lives Matter;" something about immigration, gender equality -- I was driving too fast to catch them all, but none of the statements were "religious."

I love the IDEA of UUs, and I agree 100% with the statements. But I agree, it feels like it has become some sort of activist for the underdogs -- like, the manifestation of progressivism (again, which I actually am in alignment with) vs. spirituality in itself

You've pinpointed what I experienced last time I went to the UU church in DC. I know there is lots of work to be done for the underdogs, but the identity politics has edged out the ethical soul searching and shared humanity.

. Each congregation is different, try another one. In the larger ones there are groups like you seek. It isn’t all the same across the board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m secular but DD keeps asking to go to church and tells people we pray (we don’t but her very religious grandparents do). It seems like she’s looking for some type of structure and I’m sure the church thing sounds fun from the description from the other kids in her class. For a variety of reasons, I’m am no longer religious but want to give my kids some tradition, routines and social network with a strong value and strong community outside of school. We have a good community in our neighborhood, etc but I’m looking for something more. Any ideas?

Unitarian Church? Seriously, I just drove by one near where I live and the sign outside said this is what we believe: the it said "Love is love," Black Lives Matter;" something about immigration, gender equality -- I was driving too fast to catch them all, but none of the statements were "religious."

I love the IDEA of UUs, and I agree 100% with the statements. But I agree, it feels like it has become some sort of activist for the underdogs -- like, the manifestation of progressivism (again, which I actually am in alignment with) vs. spirituality in itself

You've pinpointed what I experienced last time I went to the UU church in DC. I know there is lots of work to be done for the underdogs, but the identity politics has edged out the ethical soul searching and shared humanity.

. Each congregation is different, try another one. In the larger ones there are groups like you seek. It isn’t all the same across the board.

The UUs in this area are pretty uniformly SJW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give church a try?

Why would she do that if she's secular?

OP, I agree with UU. It's also great you're doing mindfulness things with them.

Maybe this feeling she is having/ her child is having is calling her to give it a try. We all change, evolve. Be open to new experiences.

Christians often think that "God is calling."