Is this a hill to die on?

[Anonymous]

This summer we are using half of our vacation time to take a vacation with the ILs. DH is using half of his vacation time to take a camping trip with his buddies, and I will be using half of my vacation time alone while the kids are at camp. We have 1 weekend in June and 1 weekend in July where we have planned to take some weekend trips. My husband works every other weekend, so aside from our vacation with ILs, this is the only opportunity to get away just as a nuclear family. However, now ILs have planned this big family celebration (I guess like a reunion, but all family is local) to celebrate “everything” that will happen over the summer (a graduation, birthdays, and a retirement). Of course, it’s on the weekend in June.

I told DH he needs to put his foot down or cancel his trip with friends, because we planned this time together long before his parents planned this celebration. He told his mom that it probably won’t work, and she is “devastated”, so now he said we just need to skip the weekend, try to make it up in August, because it’s not worth it.

Essentially, we are giving up a whole weekend away for a few hours on a Saturday. It’s worth it to me! By am I being unreasonable? I need some unbiased opinions, please.

[Anonymous]

Why can't you take a weekend trip at some other time? What have I missed here?

[Anonymous]

Yes, you are being reasonable. Tell mil she gets the weekend in June or the other planned vacation. You’re happy to do whatever works best for her but both isn’t an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you take a weekend trip at some other time? What have I missed here?

Husband works every other weekend.

One of our weekends away was in June. (Now, that’s when MIL has planned the party.

Other weekend, he works.

July:

Trip with ILs
Our solo trips
Weekend away
DH works

Then it’s August. We may or may not be able to make weekend trips work because of kid commitments.

[Anonymous]

If its just a Saturday why don't you just have your weekend away on a different weekend?

Also how is vacation time relevant since neither the reunion nor the weekends away seem to be eating into it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you take a weekend trip at some other time? What have I missed here?

Husband works every other weekend.

One of our weekends away was in June. (Now, that’s when MIL has planned the party.

Other weekend, he works.

July:

Trip with ILs
Our solo trips
Weekend away
DH works

Then it’s August. We may or may not be able to make weekend trips work because of kid commitments.

There are four weekends a month. Go the other June weekend. Or go in May. Why do you need to go in summer if its over the weekend?

[Anonymous]

If your family is local and you see them all the time just decline. Let MIL be "devastated".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you take a weekend trip at some other time? What have I missed here?

Husband works every other weekend.

One of our weekends away was in June. (Now, that’s when MIL has planned the party.

Other weekend, he works.

July:

Trip with ILs
Our solo trips
Weekend away
DH works

Then it’s August. We may or may not be able to make weekend trips work because of kid commitments.

There are four weekends a month. Go the other June weekend. Or go in May. Why do you need to go in summer if its over the weekend?

Kids have commitments that don’t end until school year is over.

Why don’t you believe me that these are the only weekends that work?

[Anonymous]

You’re being ridiculous and you need to figure out something else and go to the reunion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re being ridiculous and you need to figure out something else and go to the reunion.

Disagree. You’d really cancel a preplanned weekend getaway at the whim of your MIL and her post-plan plans?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you take a weekend trip at some other time? What have I missed here?

Husband works every other weekend.

One of our weekends away was in June. (Now, that’s when MIL has planned the party.

Other weekend, he works.

July:

Trip with ILs
Our solo trips
Weekend away
DH works

Then it’s August. We may or may not be able to make weekend trips work because of kid commitments.

There are four weekends a month. Go the other June weekend. Or go in May. Why do you need to go in summer if its over the weekend?

Kids have commitments that don’t end until school year is over.

Why don’t you believe me that these are the only weekends that work?

Well you listed out everything in July but nothing elsewhere.

I simply don't believe that you have only two weekends all summer long to take a trip away. Let your kid miss a soccer game, its not the end of the world.

[Anonymous]

You guys sound overscheduled.

[Anonymous]

Idk maybe just try to plan a nuclear family thing over Memorial Day or Labor Day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re being ridiculous and you need to figure out something else and go to the reunion.

Disagree. You’d really cancel a preplanned weekend getaway at the whim of your MIL and her post-plan plans?

DP. I would not cancel a pre planned vacation on the whim of my MIL. I would, however, move around an unbooked family weekend away in order to make a family reunion type party. Especially if I found out about it three months in advance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re being ridiculous and you need to figure out something else and go to the reunion.

Disagree. You’d really cancel a preplanned weekend getaway at the whim of your MIL and her post-plan plans?

NP. Yep. Because it's just a weekend. There are lots of them. It's not as though it's the ONLY trip we'd be taking that year or a 3 week cruise that we put a deposit down two years ago for. It's a weekend. BFD.