Is this a hill to die on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re being ridiculous and you need to figure out something else and go to the reunion.

Disagree. You’d really cancel a preplanned weekend getaway at the whim of your MIL and her post-plan plans?

DP. I would not cancel a pre planned vacation on the whim of my MIL. I would, however, move around an unbooked family weekend away in order to make a family reunion type party. Especially if I found out about it three months in advance.

I tend to agree with this, especially if my DH wanted to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you take a weekend trip at some other time? What have I missed here?

Husband works every other weekend.

One of our weekends away was in June. (Now, that’s when MIL has planned the party.

Other weekend, he works.

July:

Trip with ILs
Our solo trips
Weekend away
DH works

Then it’s August. We may or may not be able to make weekend trips work because of kid commitments.

There are four weekends a month. Go the other June weekend. Or go in May. Why do you need to go in summer if its over the weekend?

Kids have commitments that don’t end until school year is over.

Why don’t you believe me that these are the only weekends that work?

Well you listed out everything in July but nothing elsewhere.

I simply don't believe that you have only two weekends all summer long to take a trip away. Let your kid miss a soccer game, its not the end of the world.

I don’t know how it doesn’t make sense.

June:
3rd weekend: School out weekend of Father’s Day. DH works.
4th: Away (same weekend as celebration).
5th: DH works.

July:
1st: Trip with ILs
2nd: Solo vacations
3rd: DH works
4th: Away

August starts DS travel football. He most certainly would not be willing to skip a game.

[Anonymous]

At some point in life, trips with buddies or girlfriends are not in order. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re being ridiculous and you need to figure out something else and go to the reunion.

Disagree. You’d really cancel a preplanned weekend getaway at the whim of your MIL and her post-plan plans?

DP. I would not cancel a pre planned vacation on the whim of my MIL. I would, however, move around an unbooked family weekend away in order to make a family reunion type party. Especially if I found out about it three months in advance.

+1

[Anonymous]

If this is truly the only weekend that works for you and your DH to go away, then decline the family event. It is so easy to let other people's schedules dictate every weekend. Time with just your spouse is really important and you both made a commitment to this particular weekend.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like DH needs a new job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you take a weekend trip at some other time? What have I missed here?

Husband works every other weekend.

One of our weekends away was in June. (Now, that’s when MIL has planned the party.

Other weekend, he works.

July:

Trip with ILs
Our solo trips
Weekend away
DH works

Then it’s August. We may or may not be able to make weekend trips work because of kid commitments.

There are four weekends a month. Go the other June weekend. Or go in May. Why do you need to go in summer if its over the weekend?

Kids have commitments that don’t end until school year is over.

Why don’t you believe me that these are the only weekends that work?

Well you listed out everything in July but nothing elsewhere.

I simply don't believe that you have only two weekends all summer long to take a trip away. Let your kid miss a soccer game, its not the end of the world.

I don’t know how it doesn’t make sense.

June:
3rd weekend: School out weekend of Father’s Day. DH works.
4th: Away (same weekend as celebration).
5th: DH works.

July:
1st: Trip with ILs
2nd: Solo vacations
3rd: DH works
4th: Away

August starts DS travel football. He most certainly would not be willing to skip a game.

To me it is exponentially more reasonable for your kid to skip a game than for you to skip a family reunion. Or whatever else is happening on Memorial Day weekend or the other two weekends in June as school winds down.

You're clearly looking for reasons not to go which like, whatever.

Why not move your (extremely luxurious and enviable) week-long solo vacations into times of year when your kids aren't tied up with obligations if their scout meetings are that important to them?

[Anonymous]

I’m with your dh on this one. You have multiple trips planned already. I don’t get skipping a family celebration to take another one.

[Anonymous]

So your husband HAS TO go away with his buddies? Your kid can’t miss one football game, taking up a month of summer? But you would miss a big family event? Yeah not on your side here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this is truly the only weekend that works for you and your DH to go away, then decline the family event. It is so easy to let other people's schedules dictate every weekend. Time with just your spouse is really important and you both made a commitment to this particular weekend.

Yea, but they’re going in July too. It’s not the only weekend they’re taking this summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So your husband HAS TO go away with his buddies? Your kid can’t miss one football game, taking up a month of summer? But you would miss a big family event? Yeah not on your side here.

I said in my OP that he should give up his trip! I believe he should sacrifice before DS, absolutely. The kids would be at camp that week, but we could always pull them early or just have a weekend as a couple.

[Anonymous]

Your kid should miss a sports event so you can go away with your nuclear family on a weekend in August, if you must.

Kid sports don’t trump family reunions. You don’t even have anything firm scheduled that weekend.

It makes no sense that your DH would need to skip a previously planned vacation with his buddies that is occurring in a completely different weekend.

Of course if the IL’s event is only with them and you’ll be seeing them a couple of weeks later, then I’d feel differently. But if it’s an extended family party with people you don’t see regularly, I would prioritize going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is truly the only weekend that works for you and your DH to go away, then decline the family event. It is so easy to let other people's schedules dictate every weekend. Time with just your spouse is really important and you both made a commitment to this particular weekend.

Yea, but they’re going in July too. It’s not the only weekend they’re taking this summer.

Got it! Not a hill to die on. I will relent. Thanks, all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So your husband HAS TO go away with his buddies? Your kid can’t miss one football game, taking up a month of summer? But you would miss a big family event? Yeah not on your side here.

I said in my OP that he should give up his trip! I believe he should sacrifice before DS, absolutely. The kids would be at camp that week, but we could always pull them early or just have a weekend as a couple.

Why don’t you do a couple’s wknd in August then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re being ridiculous and you need to figure out something else and go to the reunion.

Disagree. You’d really cancel a preplanned weekend getaway at the whim of your MIL and her post-plan plans?

DP. I would not cancel a pre planned vacation on the whim of my MIL. I would, however, move around an unbooked family weekend away in order to make a family reunion type party. Especially if I found out about it three months in advance.

+1

+1. I do think it's weird people are giving you sh*t for your kid being unwilling to miss sports. Assuming he is MS age or older, that is totally normal (and likely expected by the team). That said, you are taking a week long vacation w/ your family and another weekend away; yes? And you'll have the rest of the weekend in question for family activities, you just can't literally go away; yes? And you're both getting separate other vacation weeks; yes? That is A LOT of vacation in a two month span by most people's standards and plenty of family togetherness... just not totally overlapping. I'd say no big deal under the circumstances if your DH wants to go.