Tell me all the worst things about ivf

[Anonymous]

After my third failed IUI we are considering IVF for secondary infertility. Can you share all the worst parts of IVF. I am trying to wrap my head around this process and whether we are up for it. Outside of the cost what was the hardest part? and I know it’s all worth it if it works but also it doesn’t always...

[Anonymous]

The worst part is that it doesnt always work and you may need to do it again and again. The emotional and financial commitment can't be measured as you never know what it will take. That unknown is so draining on me.

[Anonymous]

The worst part for me was the fear that it might not work.

If you've done IUIs with injectibles, it's not that much worse (though I noticed more bloating/discomfort before retrieval). I'm not great with anesthesia, but the retrieval was okay. Transfer was just about as easy an IUI. The waiting game was the waiting game.

Best of luck! xo

[Anonymous]

The worst part for me was getting a call on transfer day that nothing was suitable for transfer. I hadn't even considered that happening as I was young (late 20's) and started with 9 embryos.

[Anonymous]

The wait to find out how many embryos fertilized, became blastocysts and then were genetically normal.

The two week wait to find out if the transfer worked.

With the enormous cost on the line with each IVF cycle, these waits were extra-intense and just agonizing. There is no "well, we'll just try again next month."

But the actual injections and procedures were really not terrible. It all felt very worth it.

[Anonymous]

Agree with posters that said the worst thing is the stress that it won't work. Everything else pales in comparison.

I didn't think the shots were that bad. The monitoring is annoying, but what's another vaginal ultrasound & blood draw, really? These are short-term inconveniences.

The worst part for me physically was the extreme bloatedness and discomfort I had right before the egg retrieval.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The worst part for me was the fear that it might not work.

If you've done IUIs with injectibles, it's not that much worse (though I noticed more bloating/discomfort before retrieval). I'm not great with anesthesia, but the retrieval was okay. Transfer was just about as easy an IUI. The waiting game was the waiting game.

Best of luck! xo

I'm quoting myself up there, but wanted to come back....it's just a mind F. You second guess every single thing you've done throughout the cycle - is it okay that I ate a Hershey kiss? is it okay that I carried the laundry upstairs? Sip of champagne at a wedding? You're afraid to do anything that might impact your results, but the truth is no one knows if all those restrictions are actually going to change what happens. So you feel damned if you do, damned if you don't. Ugh, I had forgotten that part of it. Sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Getting zero fertilized embryos. But eventually a round worked.

[Anonymous]

Hurry up and wait. Everything feels like a ticking clock. But you are often just waiting. Waiting for your appointment. Waiting for your test results. Waiting for your period. Waiting for your eggs to grow. Waiting to know when retrieval will be. Waiting to find out how many embryos you got. Waiting to see when you will transfer. Waiting to see how many made it to freeze. Waiting for PGS results. Waiting for Beta (two week wait is the worst). Waiting for the beta results phone call. Waiting between cycles (when they other cycle failed).

Waiting and uncertainty.

[Anonymous]

The money

Somehow I was able to put absolutely everything else out of my brain. I did all the draws at 7am and made it to work at 8 on time every day and it was like they just didn't happen. I remember crying in the pharmacy over the cost of some of the drugs. Even progesterone was $$$ after I finally got pregnant.

[Anonymous]

The consuming mind suck of waiting for results at each stage.... each monitoring call, retrieval... day 3, day 5, etc. And the fact that becoming consumed by it starts isolating you from family and friends (esp friends with kids/pregnant) and before you know it you're spending all your free time on fertility boards and have no life.

[Anonymous]

Everything they said coupled with incompetent nursing staff that you will want to rage against when they make stupid mistakes and you are literally paying a mortgage for a baby.

[Anonymous]

When it finally works and you have a miscarriage. Or multiple. Or you have to terminate a wanted pregnancy because of abnormalities.

My wife has gone through all of that. Our family has gone through it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When it finally works and you have a miscarriage. Or multiple. Or you have to terminate a wanted pregnancy because of abnormalities.

My wife has gone through all of that. Our family has gone through it.

omg I am so sorry for everything your family has been through. I hope you’ve gotten the outcome you hope for. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When it finally works and you have a miscarriage. Or multiple. Or you have to terminate a wanted pregnancy because of abnormalities.

My wife has gone through all of that. Our family has gone through it.

omg I am so sorry for everything your family has been through. I hope you’ve gotten the outcome you hope for. Hugs.

We did - and thank you. We treasure that baby so much, but our lives are forever changed after the losses. Would not wish that pain on anyone. However we are the exception, not the rule. I’m sure you will find success OP.