Tell me all the worst things about ivf

[Anonymous]

The worst parts for me was feeling stuck. It was like the world was moving on, friends were having babies (and sometimes 2) while I was taking shots year after year. I cried oh so many times. Social media made it worse because people were announcing pregnancies, the sex of their babies, etc.

Also the money. We spent a lot out of pocket (and would do it all again), but man.....

[Anonymous]

I did 3 IUIs and 1 IVF - successful.
It’s been almost 4 years and I barely remember it. I guess the monitoring every morning, not telling work or anyone what was going on but having it take up all my time and thoughts, the butt shot. That’s what’s sucked. Glad I did it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The failure. Only 40% have success.

That's generally one cycle. The percentage who pursue fertility treatments and have a baby is much higher. I remember being told 75%? But all depends on your age and diagnosis.

[Anonymous]

At the time, the stress and emotional roller coaster. My clinic, RE and nurses were all great. We have 2 kids now and I absolutely would do it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everything everyone else said and I’ll add the needles and constant bloodwork. For my 3 ivfs(still no success), I had to get bloodwork every day the last week and I was just tired of it. Also, this is weird, but I truly started to feel violated from vaginal ultrasounds every day. I hope I didn’t offend anyone, but I’m just being honest and everyone’s covered the other emotional aspects.

Yes on the feeling violated. By the end it hurt to have them so often and when I got my period in between cycles I actually couldn’t bear to use a tampon. I know, weird but I just couldn’t.

[Anonymous]

That it doesn't always work, and that going through all of that and having it not work time after time is devastating. Getting the results phone calls filled with negatives and bad news really does a number on you. All the people in this thread saying how it's worth it have been successful. But there is a group of people that won't find success and sometimes I wish I had a time machine where I hadn't done so many cycles, where I hadn't moved to donor eggs, where I hadn't put myself through so much and spent so much with no results. That's depressing I know, but it happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everything everyone else said and I’ll add the needles and constant bloodwork. For my 3 ivfs(still no success), I had to get bloodwork every day the last week and I was just tired of it. Also, this is weird, but I truly started to feel violated from vaginal ultrasounds every day. I hope I didn’t offend anyone, but I’m just being honest and everyone’s covered the other emotional aspects.

Agree. But I think that is just a manifestation of the violation of the whole process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That it doesn't always work, and that going through all of that and having it not work time after time is devastating. Getting the results phone calls filled with negatives and bad news really does a number on you. All the people in this thread saying how it's worth it have been successful. But there is a group of people that won't find success and sometimes I wish I had a time machine where I hadn't done so many cycles, where I hadn't moved to donor eggs, where I hadn't put myself through so much and spent so much with no results. That's depressing I know, but it happens.

THIS. And not realizing how expensive children are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That it doesn't always work, and that going through all of that and having it not work time after time is devastating. Getting the results phone calls filled with negatives and bad news really does a number on you. All the people in this thread saying how it's worth it have been successful. But there is a group of people that won't find success and sometimes I wish I had a time machine where I hadn't done so many cycles, where I hadn't moved to donor eggs, where I hadn't put myself through so much and spent so much with no results. That's depressing I know, but it happens.

THIS. And not realizing how expensive children are.

Agree. The worst part is doing for years and it never works and then looking at all of the time and money down the drain and the emotional devastation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had 4 failed IUIs with no clear reason why. At age 41 I had 3 PGS normal embryos from one retrieval of 16 mature eggs and was successful with my first FET. I was incredibly, inexplicably lucky and I am thankful every day. The women on this board are amazing warriors and have wonderful advice.

For me, since I had a straightforward experience, I can kind of report on the process itself rather than the emotional and physical toll from multiple rounds.

Worst - Money. As a fed I have no coverage. It's ridiculous that a procedure as old as me (the first "test tube baby" was born the same year as me) is not covered by most insurance. It was a gut punch. I "got over" it by rationalizing it that for the plan I paid for, it was about the cost of a year of day care. We can pay for day care, we can pay for one extra year, right? Gulp. Unfair, sucks, etc., and I'm pissed/have survivors guilt that there are many women without means can't try this option.

Worst by far - 8 weeks of nightly progesterone shots. I had zero problems with the stim shots which were all subcutaneous. But I struggled with the intramuscular. And I'm not afraid of needles or anything. It just hurt. Not every shot, but enough that I was afraid every night. The last shot was one of the best nights of my life. I'm proud of getting through it and I'd do it 100x again to get my little one, but it still just sucked.

Distant second - I had mild OHSS after retrieval. I really had no problems with retrieval, yeah I felt weird and bloated but whatever, it was temporary. Retrieval was totally fine, almost a disappointment because it was such a routine easy thing for me. But in the days after my OHSS was bad enough that I had trouble taking deep breaths. And I was sooo uncomfortable. But seriously it was like 5 days and I could still go to work, it was not that big of a deal especially once they scanned me and I knew for sure that I had no serious problems, just needed time for everything to calm down.

Congratulations! What fertility clinic did you go to, and who was your doctor?

[Anonymous]

The worst: the cost.
The best: I was finally doing something that had a reasonable (40%) chance of working. After 2 years of perfectly timed sex and every trick in the book (without any hint of a pregnancy), I was ecstatic to have a game plan of steps that had a decent chance of working.
It ended up taking us two cycles. I was so encouraged just to have "a game plan"... so sick of the "wing it and pray this month finally works" bs of trying naturally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hurry up and wait. Everything feels like a ticking clock. But you are often just waiting. Waiting for your appointment. Waiting for your test results. Waiting for your period. Waiting for your eggs to grow. Waiting to know when retrieval will be. Waiting to find out how many embryos you got. Waiting to see when you will transfer. Waiting to see how many made it to freeze. Waiting for PGS results. Waiting for Beta (two week wait is the worst). Waiting for the beta results phone call. Waiting between cycles (when they other cycle failed).

Waiting and uncertainty.

This. Also it takes over your life for each cycle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everything everyone else said and I’ll add the needles and constant bloodwork. For my 3 ivfs(still no success), I had to get bloodwork every day the last week and I was just tired of it. Also, this is weird, but I truly started to feel violated from vaginal ultrasounds every day. I hope I didn’t offend anyone, but I’m just being honest and everyone’s covered the other emotional aspects.

OK, this is true. I was the PP who said it's not worse than the harder parts of pregnancy. But I hated the vaginal ultrasounds, I had had surgery before in that region so all that probing around in the scar tissue just sucked. I cried regularly. It was way more painful than everything besides giving birth unmedicated. And the constant bloodwork made me feel like a pincushion. Those things were probably the worst physical parts.

PP, good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The worst: the cost.
The best: I was finally doing something that had a reasonable (40%) chance of working. After 2 years of perfectly timed sex and every trick in the book (without any hint of a pregnancy), I was ecstatic to have a game plan of steps that had a decent chance of working.
It ended up taking us two cycles. I was so encouraged just to have "a game plan"... so sick of the "wing it and pray this month finally works" bs of trying naturally.

This. TTC for years was emotionally harder for me than moving on to a procedure with a 60 percent success rate. Worked the first time

[Anonymous]

1. Uncertainty (Is this huge expense of time, effort and money going to pay off?)

2. Injections. I don't like seeing needles go in and had to psych myself up by distracting myself with funny videos. Then I would breathe in deeply when pushing the needle in, and exhale deeply when injecting.

3. Bloating. The more follicles you have, the worse bloating gets. I gained 5 lbs seemingly overnight and could barely shuffle around. I felt pressure up to my ribs, all the time for days. Drink electrolytes to lessen this.

4. Not fun. It was isolating (not easy to socialize) and depressing (so many hormones making you feel extra sorry for yourself).

I kept telling myself it's for a short time, and the payoff could be huge. You can't promise yourself a positive outcome though -- just the best chance you have.