Telling your child they were rejected

[Anonymous]

How do you tell your child they were rejected from a school?

[Anonymous]

Us the tuition money to go on a fabulous vacation!

[Anonymous]

Musical chairs analogy. Everyone playing the game is good enough to get a chair, but there are more people playing the game than there are chairs. You are brave to have entered the game, and you gained some important skills just by going through the process. Now, let's talk about how awesome your school will be next year and which friends will be there with you.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, why do parents put their young children in these situations? Are you not ashamed for gambling with their self-esteem just so you’d have a shot at increasing your own social capital?

[Anonymous]

It helps by not making a big deal about it. Our kids didn't even know when results were coming out (we moved here from another city). One kid didn't get into a school where her siblings ended up going. Our conversations were all about what was the best fit for them so it felt natural that she would get in some places and not others. Ended up not being a big deal as she loves where she ended up.

[Anonymous]

How about not framing it as “rejected”? A LOT of this is luck. Just not enough spots for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, why do parents put their young children in these situations? Are you not ashamed for gambling with their self-esteem just so you’d have a shot at increasing your own social capital?

Kids are stronger than you give the credit for. They can handle a little rejection in life and it builds their self esteem to not be crushed by it. And you are ludicrous if you think all parents go through this crap for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about not framing it as “rejected”? A LOT of this is luck. Just not enough spots for everyone.

+1.

There were just too many people this year.

Maybe next!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about not framing it as “rejected”? A LOT of this is luck. Just not enough spots for everyone.

+1. My DD is young, so we don’t discuss it much, but obviously she knows she went on a bunch of play dates. I just say each school only has so many spots, and they have to figure out how many kids they can fit, and sometimes we may not fit if they have a lot of kids who want to go there. It helped that we never pushed any one school (despite our own preferences), and she liked things about all of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, why do parents put their young children in these situations? Are you not ashamed for gambling with their self-esteem just so you’d have a shot at increasing your own social capital?

Kids are stronger than you give the credit for. They can handle a little rejection in life and it builds their self esteem to not be crushed by it. And you are ludicrous if you think all parents go through this crap for themselves.

I agree learning to handle rejects an important skill, but let's not pretend there aren't plenty of parents doing this for their own benefit as much or more than their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, why do parents put their young children in these situations? Are you not ashamed for gambling with their self-esteem just so you’d have a shot at increasing your own social capital?

Kids are stronger than you give the credit for. They can handle a little rejection in life and it builds their self esteem to not be crushed by it. And you are ludicrous if you think all parents go through this crap for themselves.

I agree learning to handle rejects an important skill, but let's not pretend there aren't plenty of parents doing this for their own benefit as much or more than their kids.

Some maybe, but you called on all parents to be ashamed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, why do parents put their young children in these situations? Are you not ashamed for gambling with their self-esteem just so you’d have a shot at increasing your own social capital?

Kids are stronger than you give the credit for. They can handle a little rejection in life and it builds their self esteem to not be crushed by it. And you are ludicrous if you think all parents go through this crap for themselves.

I agree learning to handle rejects an important skill, but let's not pretend there aren't plenty of parents doing this for their own benefit as much or more than their kids.

Some maybe, but you called on all parents to be ashamed.

To the PP who made the time to add their original derogatory post - why are you even in this forum? Honestly, how small a person are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Musical chairs analogy. Everyone playing the game is good enough to get a chair, but there are more people playing the game than there are chairs. You are brave to have entered the game, and you gained some important skills just by going through the process. Now, let's talk about how awesome your school will be next year and which friends will be there with you.

I was just thinking, why do schools have a process that requires so much of young children—play dates, shadow days, essays.

[Anonymous]

The same child who was flat out rejected in 4th grade, went to a smaller school for MS, and just got admitted everywhere in 9th grade. We always Tried to be honest with DC so all the good news today had a very special taste. DC feels like all the hard work paid off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, why do parents put their young children in these situations? Are you not ashamed for gambling with their self-esteem just so you’d have a shot at increasing your own social capital?

Huh? I know what you're saying but I don't know why you would say it. How odd -- and misplaced.