ONS- was it what you expected?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been married a long time and we have a very fulfilling sex life a lot of which is due to years of learning what we both really like. I have no interest in straying but I do wonder if a ONS can truely be fulfilling. I’m sure it can be exciting to be with someone new but is the sex great or disappointing? I actually had a conversation about this with my husband after watching a movie and he said how would any ONS know what he likes when it took me a long time to figure it out. I’ve never had a ONS but my experience with first time sex was that it always got way better by the 4th or 5th time.

[Anonymous]

I had one ONS in my 20s, and it is my best sex memory of all time. The guy was experienced, bold, responsive and long lasting, and that’s really all I need for a good time. I’m sure if there were more ONS after that the luster would have been lost.

I think if I had a secret ONS after being married there would be a lot of regret rather than a pleasant memory.

[Anonymous]

I had one in my early 20's and it was a big disappointment. The sex was nothing but a lot of fumbling around with him shoving his tongue almost down my throat. I don't think it lasted more than 15 minutes and I was glad when it ended. It made me forever realize the value of really knowing and liking someone before having sex. I agree with OP that no ONS would really know what I like to both give and receive.

[Anonymous]

With a ONS he has no incentive to care about your pleasure.

[Anonymous]

If you think about it, from a biological viewpoint, ONS is a contruct that is male-centric.

[Anonymous]

When I was younger and promiscuous, I had them. It's not just the sex - it's the whole experience. In one instance, I was at a reception for my department at my university and I met a man who was also in the department but in a different subsection from me (think American politics vs. international relations). The conversation was thrilling and he was very attractive. We got tipsy on free reception booze and one thing led to another. In the morning, we agreed that it had been fun but that life circumstances were not such that pursuing a relationship would be good for either of us (end of semester, leaving campus, me going abroad the following semester). We parted civilly and I never saw him again. The sex was probably average, but the rest of the situation was exciting and fun.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you just have to interview a couple before you get there. Traveling guys and conferences are the best.

[Anonymous]

Yup, the two ONSs that I had were ... less than fulfilling. I mean, OK, but pretty much after the 2nd I decided it was really a waste of time and not for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you just have to interview a couple before you get there. Traveling guys and conferences are the best.

When I was 22 I was traveling by myself by train from Milan to Geneva and stopped to spend a day near the Matterhorn. I met a very nice guy who was also alone - and going the other direction - and we decided to spend the day hiking. After a few hours it became very hot and we decided to cool off in a stream so we skinny dipped. The water was super cold and it gave the guy a major shrinkage problem which I thought was hilarious. He was really embarrassed until I surprised myself and told him that I could help him get back to normal. The sex was far from awesome but the whole experience was memorable. I never saw him again but I will never forget him. That's what a ONS should be.

[Anonymous]

Man here, have had a couple of them before and after marriage. As others have said, they are memorable and exciting, the actually sex is generally good but not great but made up for by novelty

[Anonymous]

Woman here - I had a few when I was younger. A couple were awesome, a couple were disappointing. Some guys are better in bed than others! (I'm sure alcohol plays a role in that too.)

[Anonymous]

Guy here. I’ve had a few. The only memorable one was with a stripper.

[Anonymous]

I’m a guy and I had a few ONS and to be honest I was more into what I was going to get out of it then her. I do recall one woman who moaned so loud I thought we might be disturbing the peace. I’d like to say it was my skills that got her there but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t given my wife is as quiet as a mouse which is a whole other story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a guy and I had a few ONS and to be honest I was more into what I was going to get out of it then her. I do recall one woman who moaned so loud I thought we might be disturbing the peace. I’d like to say it was my skills that got her there but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t given my wife is as quiet as a mouse which is a whole other story.

Some just don’t make noise. You can go downtown until they O 3 times and they’ll get little more than hitched breathing. Others will ball up their fists in the sheets and lose their minds. Everyone is different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a guy and I had a few ONS and to be honest I was more into what I was going to get out of it then her. I do recall one woman who moaned so loud I thought we might be disturbing the peace. I’d like to say it was my skills that got her there but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t given my wife is as quiet as a mouse which is a whole other story.

This is why it's so important to have some experience other than spouse. My wife is low drive and low energy in bed. I would have thought the problem was me except I did the evil affair route and realized it definitely wasnt me