Weight Loss for 12 year-old

[Anonymous]

Looking for advice from parents who have had to help their children lose weight. What has worked and what hasn't? I am terrified to do the wrong thing and, as a result, DD develops an unhealthy relationship with food.
Her doctor said little changes make a big difference at this age. Would just cutting sugar be enough (stick to whole foods with the occasional treat becuase, as 12, they seem to be everywhere at school, parties, etc.)? I would love to hear what people have done.
Thank you!

[Anonymous]

My 12 year old was overweight last summer and had been trending that way over several years and has lost weight this year by eliminating snacks and watching what she was eating. I worried about this a lot and wondered what to do and eventually realized that it wasn't mine to do anything about -i.e. it IS my job to provide healthy meals and healthy food options but it ISN'T my job to make her lose weight. If she asked me for help losing weight, I would certainly help her figure this out but she didn't. I realized that there was more harm in in the intervention in her case than good and she didn't need me to tell her she was chubby as she already knew that.

[Anonymous]

I agree with providing healthy meals. Do not buy junk. If processed snacks are not in the house, she will have to choose an alternative like fruit and cheese.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 12 year old was overweight last summer and had been trending that way over several years and has lost weight this year by eliminating snacks and watching what she was eating. I worried about this a lot and wondered what to do and eventually realized that it wasn't mine to do anything about -i.e. it IS my job to provide healthy meals and healthy food options but it ISN'T my job to make her lose weight. If she asked me for help losing weight, I would certainly help her figure this out but she didn't. I realized that there was more harm in in the intervention in her case than good and she didn't need me to tell her she was chubby as she already knew that.

This is a great perspective. Thank you.
The doctor told both of us that he wants to see her in three months and, at that time, she should either be the same weight or have lost some. I am hoping healthier food options will do the trick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 12 year old was overweight last summer and had been trending that way over several years and has lost weight this year by eliminating snacks and watching what she was eating. I worried about this a lot and wondered what to do and eventually realized that it wasn't mine to do anything about -i.e. it IS my job to provide healthy meals and healthy food options but it ISN'T my job to make her lose weight. If she asked me for help losing weight, I would certainly help her figure this out but she didn't. I realized that there was more harm in in the intervention in her case than good and she didn't need me to tell her she was chubby as she already knew that.

This is a great perspective. Thank you.
The doctor told both of us that he wants to see her in three months and, at that time, she should either be the same weight or have lost some. I am hoping healthier food options will do the trick.

If my kid's ped said that in front of my child I'd be looking for a new doctor. That is completely inappropriate and is only going to contribute to your kid's food issues.

In addition to the good suggestions others have made, think about ways to help incorporate more exercise into her life, even if it's just a family walk during the weekend.

[Anonymous]

Secrets to feeding a healthy family by Ellen satter might be helpful!

[Anonymous]

My daughter got chubby right around that age. Many girls do right before puberty. She never lost weight but got a lot taller and slimmed out. She’s 16 now and runs Cross country and it isn’t even a tiny issue. I would tread very lightly here unless there’s more like a family history of obesity. Keep healthy snacks and live an active lifestyle and don’t say anything!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Secrets to feeding a healthy family by Ellen satter might be helpful!

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Maybe sign up for swim classes or something along those lines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter got chubby right around that age. Many girls do right before puberty. She never lost weight but got a lot taller and slimmed out. She’s 16 now and runs Cross country and it isn’t even a tiny issue. I would tread very lightly here unless there’s more like a family history of obesity. Keep healthy snacks and live an active lifestyle and don’t say anything!!

She has always been 95th percentile in height and weight since she was born. The doctor was never concerned since she has always grown proportionately. Now, her BMI is in the 98th percentile so the doctor said anything over 95th is cause for concern. She grew 4 inches in the past year, but gained 44lbs! I don't even know how that happens.
So, clearly I intervene, I just hope keeping junk out of the house is enough.
Thank you for your post.

[Anonymous]

I don’t like some of the things coming from your dr!! 98 isn’t concerning if she’s been at 95. If she went from 25th to 95th that’s a different story. It sounds like she’s also tall so she’s not off that far proportionately. Please take the stupid growth charts with a grain of salt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 12 year old was overweight last summer and had been trending that way over several years and has lost weight this year by eliminating snacks and watching what she was eating. I worried about this a lot and wondered what to do and eventually realized that it wasn't mine to do anything about -i.e. it IS my job to provide healthy meals and healthy food options but it ISN'T my job to make her lose weight. If she asked me for help losing weight, I would certainly help her figure this out but she didn't. I realized that there was more harm in in the intervention in her case than good and she didn't need me to tell her she was chubby as she already knew that.

This is a great perspective. Thank you.
The doctor told both of us that he wants to see her in three months and, at that time, she should either be the same weight or have lost some. I am hoping healthier food options will do the trick.

If my kid's ped said that in front of my child I'd be looking for a new doctor. That is completely inappropriate and is only going to contribute to your kid's food issues.

In addition to the good suggestions others have made, think about ways to help incorporate more exercise into her life, even if it's just a family walk during the weekend.

I agree with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Secrets to feeding a healthy family by Ellen satter might be helpful!

Thank you!

You're welcome! It really helped me to understand how to help my kids develop a good relationship with food and how restricting can actually lead to food issues plus other strategies to use instead. It helped me feel a lot more confident! I got it from the local library. I just looked and was reminded that the same author actually has another book specifically on this issue - it's called "your child's weight: how to help without hurting" which sounds like exactly what you're looking for! I'm sure it would have similar approaches.

https://www.amazon.com/Your-Childs-Weight-Helping-Without/dp/0967118913/ref=pd_sim_14_1/140-8141269-0923136?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0967118913&pd_rd_r=c025a7e5-3c34-11e9-accd-19068f92f127&pd_rd_w=Z8UZR&pd_rd_wg=3BRjZ&pf_rd_p=90485860-83e9-4fd9-b838-b28a9b7fda30&pf_rd_r=1MQQBJMJE5XPBR41FGWR&psc=1&refRID=1MQQBJMJE5XPBR41FGWR

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter got chubby right around that age. Many girls do right before puberty. She never lost weight but got a lot taller and slimmed out. She’s 16 now and runs Cross country and it isn’t even a tiny issue. I would tread very lightly here unless there’s more like a family history of obesity. Keep healthy snacks and live an active lifestyle and don’t say anything!!

She has always been 95th percentile in height and weight since she was born. The doctor was never concerned since she has always grown proportionately. Now, her BMI is in the 98th percentile so the doctor said anything over 95th is cause for concern. She grew 4 inches in the past year, but gained 44lbs! I don't even know how that happens.
So, clearly I intervene, I just hope keeping junk out of the house is enough.
Thank you for your post.

I think this is a good starting point and has no down side. I think it's important to make it a family thing too, so she doesn't feel singled out. It should be a lifestyle change for quality of life, not "because of her weight."

Also, isn't your doctor concerned that 44 lbs in a YEAR might be indicative of some other condition? It might be worth a second opinion if cutting back on snacking (quality and quantity) doesn't do anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter got chubby right around that age. Many girls do right before puberty. She never lost weight but got a lot taller and slimmed out. She’s 16 now and runs Cross country and it isn’t even a tiny issue. I would tread very lightly here unless there’s more like a family history of obesity. Keep healthy snacks and live an active lifestyle and don’t say anything!!

She has always been 95th percentile in height and weight since she was born. The doctor was never concerned since she has always grown proportionately. Now, her BMI is in the 98th percentile so the doctor said anything over 95th is cause for concern. She grew 4 inches in the past year, but gained 44lbs! I don't even know how that happens.
So, clearly I intervene, I just hope keeping junk out of the house is enough.
Thank you for your post.

I think this is a good starting point and has no down side. I think it's important to make it a family thing too, so she doesn't feel singled out. It should be a lifestyle change for quality of life, not "because of her weight."

Also, isn't your doctor concerned that 44 lbs in a YEAR might be indicative of some other condition? It might be worth a second opinion if cutting back on snacking (quality and quantity) doesn't do anything.

Good point.
No he didn't say anything else could be a factor, but that is almost a pound a week. They checked cholesterol but not for anything else. If I don't see any changes in three months, we will go look for a second opinion. I have always liked our doctor. He is not known for his bedside manner, however, so maybe his delivery was just bad.
DD and I had a long talk after. She doesn't seem phased by any of this. I am taking the healthy approach, not focusing on appearance. Her father and I are both tall (5'10" and 6') and while we aren't string beans, we are not obese. I just don't understand 44lbs in a year. It seems like she would have had to been eating fast food every day for that sort of weight gain. We eat FF maybe twice a month, rarely go out to dinner otherwise. There is a lot of pizza (Pizza Fridays and the occasional Saturday night babysitter). We had a lot of candy in our house from Halloween to Christmas to birthdays and Valentines Day, but even so, 44 pounds is alarming.