Weight Loss for 12 year-old

[Anonymous]

For us, it was really hard to go cold turkey with junk food and sweets especially since my other kids were fine self-regulating themselves around junk food. So, we took a different approach and really emphasized moderation. Instead of grabbing 4 GS cookies, how about just 2 cookies for now and then follow it up with a cup of water (especially since a lot of times she was confusing thirst for hunger/feeling nibbly/grazing). And the 2 cookies were enough to satiate her sweets cravings.

I also signed her up for a class of her choice - she totally loved the kids zumba class so we went with that. We have some sort of sport/exercise class each season. DH got her a watch for Christmas with step counter on it. She'll listen to TS and go for a walk around the block and enjoys getting her step count to go up.
So, these small subtle changes have really helped. The weight loss is slow, but at least it is staying off and we don't have to deal with pushback, food battles, the "it's not fair that Sister1 and Sister2 get XYZ, but I don't"- type situations, and the like.

FWIW though, the ped wasn't really too concerned. DD has always been on the large side (95%+) since she was little so according to the growth charts she has progressed perfectly and in proportion; just on the big side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For us, it was really hard to go cold turkey with junk food and sweets especially since my other kids were fine self-regulating themselves around junk food. So, we took a different approach and really emphasized moderation. Instead of grabbing 4 GS cookies, how about just 2 cookies for now and then follow it up with a cup of water (especially since a lot of times she was confusing thirst for hunger/feeling nibbly/grazing). And the 2 cookies were enough to satiate her sweets cravings.

I also signed her up for a class of her choice - she totally loved the kids zumba class so we went with that. We have some sort of sport/exercise class each season. DH got her a watch for Christmas with step counter on it. She'll listen to TS and go for a walk around the block and enjoys getting her step count to go up.
So, these small subtle changes have really helped. The weight loss is slow, but at least it is staying off and we don't have to deal with pushback, food battles, the "it's not fair that Sister1 and Sister2 get XYZ, but I don't"- type situations, and the like.

FWIW though, the ped wasn't really too concerned. DD has always been on the large side (95%+) since she was little so according to the growth charts she has progressed perfectly and in proportion; just on the big side.

Thank you, this is awesome! I was thinking of the moderation approach, and it is good to know while slow, it is working for your DD. My daughter is active (basketball in the winter, softball in the spring, swimming in the summer) but we are adding daily walks (her and me) which helps us both, the dog, and maybe even strengthen our relationship. Thanks again.

[Anonymous]

For us, what really helped was cutting down on junk snacks and stopping breakfast cereal, incorporating more smoothies and salads and healthy meals as a family. Kids used to eat cereal for breakfast on weekdays, changed that to overnight oats with peanut butter and fruit on top (they actually like it and it is almost as effortless as cereal). A green smoothie with greens and fruit before a meal, or a salad first before the main is helping. We are vegetarian so all of that helped us get away from the junk carbs. As a family we have incorporated more healthy whole grains. Also look into getting your child in swim or something physically active.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 12 year old was overweight last summer and had been trending that way over several years and has lost weight this year by eliminating snacks and watching what she was eating. I worried about this a lot and wondered what to do and eventually realized that it wasn't mine to do anything about -i.e. it IS my job to provide healthy meals and healthy food options but it ISN'T my job to make her lose weight. If she asked me for help losing weight, I would certainly help her figure this out but she didn't. I realized that there was more harm in in the intervention in her case than good and she didn't need me to tell her she was chubby as she already knew that.

This is a great perspective. Thank you.
The doctor told both of us that he wants to see her in three months and, at that time, she should either be the same weight or have lost some. I am hoping healthier food options will do the trick.

If my kid's ped said that in front of my child I'd be looking for a new doctor. That is completely inappropriate and is only going to contribute to your kid's food issues.

In addition to the good suggestions others have made, think about ways to help incorporate more exercise into her life, even if it's just a family walk during the weekend.

Good God, do you always think coddling your kids is the best way? Hiding the truth from them? That is absolutely appropriate and nutritionist told my DS at 13 that he needs to gain weight and she expects him to take this seriously. I was thankful because kids will listen better to authority like a Dr. And don't give me some crappy answer how overweight is different than underweight. Are you the pp who thinks size 14 is fine bcs it is average for US female? You are part of the problem, why can't you accept that? Honesty works best. OP's kid already knew she was overweight. Kids are not stupid. I actually really, really dislike you for posting this, and I think you are a terrible parent for saying this. It is doctor's job to tell that tween to lose weight or not gain weight. That Dr is being responsible while you are being utterly irresponsible parent. Call a spade a spade, but no let's pretend that it is perfectly ok for 12 year old to be overweight and keep quiet about it! In the words of an orange, you are a Loser parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 12 year old was overweight last summer and had been trending that way over several years and has lost weight this year by eliminating snacks and watching what she was eating. I worried about this a lot and wondered what to do and eventually realized that it wasn't mine to do anything about -i.e. it IS my job to provide healthy meals and healthy food options but it ISN'T my job to make her lose weight. If she asked me for help losing weight, I would certainly help her figure this out but she didn't. I realized that there was more harm in in the intervention in her case than good and she didn't need me to tell her she was chubby as she already knew that.

This is a great perspective. Thank you.
The doctor told both of us that he wants to see her in three months and, at that time, she should either be the same weight or have lost some. I am hoping healthier food options will do the trick.

If my kid's ped said that in front of my child I'd be looking for a new doctor. That is completely inappropriate and is only going to contribute to your kid's food issues.

In addition to the good suggestions others have made, think about ways to help incorporate more exercise into her life, even if it's just a family walk during the weekend.

Good God, do you always think coddling your kids is the best way? Hiding the truth from them? That is absolutely appropriate and nutritionist told my DS at 13 that he needs to gain weight and she expects him to take this seriously. I was thankful because kids will listen better to authority like a Dr. And don't give me some crappy answer how overweight is different than underweight. Are you the pp who thinks size 14 is fine bcs it is average for US female? You are part of the problem, why can't you accept that? Honesty works best. OP's kid already knew she was overweight. Kids are not stupid. I actually really, really dislike you for posting this, and I think you are a terrible parent for saying this. It is doctor's job to tell that tween to lose weight or not gain weight. That Dr is being responsible while you are being utterly irresponsible parent. Call a spade a spade, but no let's pretend that it is perfectly ok for 12 year old to be overweight and keep quiet about it! In the words of an orange, you are a Loser parent.

What about health at every size? Or fat is beautiful? Or whatever other nonsense is floating about out there to justify being fat or obese.

This is the problem! Do I think overweight people should be mocked or turned away due to size, absolutely not! But if my kid were getting on the road to chubbyville I’d try to fix the issue. No more snacking and healthy meals. Honestly, Americans eat way too many snacks and it’s like eating is a constant pastime. Get a donut with coffee, sure! Afternoon pick me up of chips and a candy bar, why not! You’re supposed to be hungry for the next meal, that’s how it works! I would stop buying or offering all snacks and make the kid wait for dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter got chubby right around that age. Many girls do right before puberty. She never lost weight but got a lot taller and slimmed out. She’s 16 now and runs Cross country and it isn’t even a tiny issue. I would tread very lightly here unless there’s more like a family history of obesity. Keep healthy snacks and live an active lifestyle and don’t say anything!!

She has always been 95th percentile in height and weight since she was born. The doctor was never concerned since she has always grown proportionately. Now, her BMI is in the 98th percentile so the doctor said anything over 95th is cause for concern. She grew 4 inches in the past year, but gained 44lbs! I don't even know how that happens.
So, clearly I intervene, I just hope keeping junk out of the house is enough.
Thank you for your post.

I think this is a good starting point and has no down side. I think it's important to make it a family thing too, so she doesn't feel singled out. It should be a lifestyle change for quality of life, not "because of her weight."

Also, isn't your doctor concerned that 44 lbs in a YEAR might be indicative of some other condition? It might be worth a second opinion if cutting back on snacking (quality and quantity) doesn't do anything.

Good point.
No he didn't say anything else could be a factor, but that is almost a pound a week. They checked cholesterol but not for anything else. If I don't see any changes in three months, we will go look for a second opinion. I have always liked our doctor. He is not known for his bedside manner, however, so maybe his delivery was just bad.
DD and I had a long talk after. She doesn't seem phased by any of this. I am taking the healthy approach, not focusing on appearance. Her father and I are both tall (5'10" and 6') and while we aren't string beans, we are not obese. I just don't understand 44lbs in a year. It seems like she would have had to been eating fast food every day for that sort of weight gain. We eat FF maybe twice a month, rarely go out to dinner otherwise. There is a lot of pizza (Pizza Fridays and the occasional Saturday night babysitter). We had a lot of candy in our house from Halloween to Christmas to birthdays and Valentines Day, but even so, 44 pounds is alarming.

Please get her thyroid checked. 44 pounds in a year is a lot. There's no reason to wait several months before making an appointment with an endocrinologist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 12 year old was overweight last summer and had been trending that way over several years and has lost weight this year by eliminating snacks and watching what she was eating. I worried about this a lot and wondered what to do and eventually realized that it wasn't mine to do anything about -i.e. it IS my job to provide healthy meals and healthy food options but it ISN'T my job to make her lose weight. If she asked me for help losing weight, I would certainly help her figure this out but she didn't. I realized that there was more harm in in the intervention in her case than good and she didn't need me to tell her she was chubby as she already knew that.

This is a great perspective. Thank you.
The doctor told both of us that he wants to see her in three months and, at that time, she should either be the same weight or have lost some. I am hoping healthier food options will do the trick.

If my kid's ped said that in front of my child I'd be looking for a new doctor. That is completely inappropriate and is only going to contribute to your kid's food issues.

In addition to the good suggestions others have made, think about ways to help incorporate more exercise into her life, even if it's just a family walk during the weekend.

Good God, do you always think coddling your kids is the best way? Hiding the truth from them? That is absolutely appropriate and nutritionist told my DS at 13 that he needs to gain weight and she expects him to take this seriously. I was thankful because kids will listen better to authority like a Dr. And don't give me some crappy answer how overweight is different than underweight. Are you the pp who thinks size 14 is fine bcs it is average for US female? You are part of the problem, why can't you accept that? Honesty works best. OP's kid already knew she was overweight. Kids are not stupid. I actually really, really dislike you for posting this, and I think you are a terrible parent for saying this. It is doctor's job to tell that tween to lose weight or not gain weight. That Dr is being responsible while you are being utterly irresponsible parent. Call a spade a spade, but no let's pretend that it is perfectly ok for 12 year old to be overweight and keep quiet about it! In the words of an orange, you are a Loser parent.

What about health at every size? Or fat is beautiful? Or whatever other nonsense is floating about out there to justify being fat or obese.

This is the problem! Do I think overweight people should be mocked or turned away due to size, absolutely not! But if my kid were getting on the road to chubbyville I’d try to fix the issue. No more snacking and healthy meals. Honestly, Americans eat way too many snacks and it’s like eating is a constant pastime. Get a donut with coffee, sure! Afternoon pick me up of chips and a candy bar, why not! You’re supposed to be hungry for the next meal, that’s how it works! I would stop buying or offering all snacks and make the kid wait for dinner.

I hope you approach it with more care than this. Honesty is good, your attitude is very harsh. If you come at it too strong and you make food a control issue your child will win or you cause an eating disorder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 12 year old was overweight last summer and had been trending that way over several years and has lost weight this year by eliminating snacks and watching what she was eating. I worried about this a lot and wondered what to do and eventually realized that it wasn't mine to do anything about -i.e. it IS my job to provide healthy meals and healthy food options but it ISN'T my job to make her lose weight. If she asked me for help losing weight, I would certainly help her figure this out but she didn't. I realized that there was more harm in in the intervention in her case than good and she didn't need me to tell her she was chubby as she already knew that.

This is a great perspective. Thank you.
The doctor told both of us that he wants to see her in three months and, at that time, she should either be the same weight or have lost some. I am hoping healthier food options will do the trick.

If my kid's ped said that in front of my child I'd be looking for a new doctor. That is completely inappropriate and is only going to contribute to your kid's food issues.

In addition to the good suggestions others have made, think about ways to help incorporate more exercise into her life, even if it's just a family walk during the weekend.

Good God, do you always think coddling your kids is the best way? Hiding the truth from them? That is absolutely appropriate and nutritionist told my DS at 13 that he needs to gain weight and she expects him to take this seriously. I was thankful because kids will listen better to authority like a Dr. And don't give me some crappy answer how overweight is different than underweight. Are you the pp who thinks size 14 is fine bcs it is average for US female? You are part of the problem, why can't you accept that? Honesty works best. OP's kid already knew she was overweight. Kids are not stupid. I actually really, really dislike you for posting this, and I think you are a terrible parent for saying this. It is doctor's job to tell that tween to lose weight or not gain weight. That Dr is being responsible while you are being utterly irresponsible parent. Call a spade a spade, but no let's pretend that it is perfectly ok for 12 year old to be overweight and keep quiet about it! In the words of an orange, you are a Loser parent.

Wow. You sure “know” a lot from an internet posting. FFS no one can tell OP if it was appropriate or inappropriate without seeing her child. I’m not the poster you are responding to, but I think the bolded applies to you.

[Anonymous]

I was very overweight since 5th Grade. Do not ignore it or think modifying her diet is going to cause some eating disorder. I highly recommend sending her to a 6-8 week fitness/weight loss camp. I lost 32 lbs the summer of 7th grade and it was life changing. I also continued with Weight Watchers when I returned (pediatrician recommended). She knows she is big/fat and is ashamed. Help her lose the weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was very overweight since 5th Grade. Do not ignore it or think modifying her diet is going to cause some eating disorder. I highly recommend sending her to a 6-8 week fitness/weight loss camp. I lost 32 lbs the summer of 7th grade and it was life changing. I also continued with Weight Watchers when I returned (pediatrician recommended). She knows she is big/fat and is ashamed. Help her lose the weight.

I meant to add my siblings were skinny as posts. My Mom told me that not everyone metabolizes food the same and I got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter got chubby right around that age. Many girls do right before puberty. She never lost weight but got a lot taller and slimmed out. She’s 16 now and runs Cross country and it isn’t even a tiny issue. I would tread very lightly here unless there’s more like a family history of obesity. Keep healthy snacks and live an active lifestyle and don’t say anything!!

She has always been 95th percentile in height and weight since she was born. The doctor was never concerned since she has always grown proportionately. Now, her BMI is in the 98th percentile so the doctor said anything over 95th is cause for concern. She grew 4 inches in the past year, but gained 44lbs! I don't even know how that happens.
So, clearly I intervene, I just hope keeping junk out of the house is enough.
Thank you for your post.

I think this is a good starting point and has no down side. I think it's important to make it a family thing too, so she doesn't feel singled out. It should be a lifestyle change for quality of life, not "because of her weight."

Also, isn't your doctor concerned that 44 lbs in a YEAR might be indicative of some other condition? It might be worth a second opinion if cutting back on snacking (quality and quantity) doesn't do anything.

Good point.
No he didn't say anything else could be a factor, but that is almost a pound a week. They checked cholesterol but not for anything else. If I don't see any changes in three months, we will go look for a second opinion. I have always liked our doctor. He is not known for his bedside manner, however, so maybe his delivery was just bad.
DD and I had a long talk after. She doesn't seem phased by any of this. I am taking the healthy approach, not focusing on appearance. Her father and I are both tall (5'10" and 6') and while we aren't string beans, we are not obese. I just don't understand 44lbs in a year. It seems like she would have had to been eating fast food every day for that sort of weight gain. We eat FF maybe twice a month, rarely go out to dinner otherwise. There is a lot of pizza (Pizza Fridays and the occasional Saturday night babysitter). We had a lot of candy in our house from Halloween to Christmas to birthdays and Valentines Day, but even so, 44 pounds is alarming.

What is she eating at school? Does she buy lunch and/or snacks? Vending machine access? She may be eating a lot more or a lot more sugar than you realize. (Maybe even more than she realizes.)