Getting out of a bad carpool

[Anonymous]

We joined a carpool for swim practice -- it is four times a week. The driving is not exactly equitable between the 4 families, we do 1 day, another family does one day, one family does none (and can't), and another family does 2 days. I just find the extra time my DD spends in the car to dropping off and picking up all of the kids doesn't really seem worth it. She probably spend an extra 40 minutes in the car each day. At first it was fun because she enjoyed being with all of the other kids, but now she is feeling it eats into homework and/or down time. I know if we drop out, the mom that already does 2 days will probably end up doing 3 days so I feel really bad. We started in September and it will go until school gets out. I just don't know how to get out of this.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you drive your one day and then your DD alone the rest of the time? Just tell them the reason: riding in the carpool the other days takes up too much homework time.

[Anonymous]

Just tell them the truth that its too much with pick and drop off and is becoming an issue with homework and you have to drop out. Family who isn't driving needs to hire someone.

[Anonymous]

Be honest and give them a few weeks notice. Still driving your one day for the rest of the season is kind but not required.

[Anonymous]

I think you should continue your one day for the rest of the year. If they ask you next year, you say you can’t because of x.

If you drop out now, you’ll be burning bridges for your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should continue your one day for the rest of the year. If they ask you next year, you say you can’t because of x.

If you drop out now, you’ll be burning bridges for your daughter.

It really is unfair to the carpool for you to break your commitment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should continue your one day for the rest of the year. If they ask you next year, you say you can’t because of x.

If you drop out now, you’ll be burning bridges for your daughter.

It really is unfair to the carpool for you to break your commitment.

No, its not. Its not an easy carpool and there are four families and one family, not OP is taking the burden of another family. This is why we never agree to carpooling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should continue your one day for the rest of the year. If they ask you next year, you say you can’t because of x.

If you drop out now, you’ll be burning bridges for your daughter.

It really is unfair to the carpool for you to break your commitment.

No, its not. Its not an easy carpool and there are four families and one family, not OP is taking the burden of another family. This is why we never agree to carpooling.

But OP knew the deal when she ageeed to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should continue your one day for the rest of the year. If they ask you next year, you say you can’t because of x.

If you drop out now, you’ll be burning bridges for your daughter.

It really is unfair to the carpool for you to break your commitment.

No, its not. Its not an easy carpool and there are four families and one family, not OP is taking the burden of another family. This is why we never agree to carpooling.

But OP knew the deal when she ageeed to it.

She probably didn't know the distance/time it would take.

[Anonymous]

I think you just need to be honest, give a few weeks notice and get out. I'm one of those on a different thread that posted about hating carpools. My kids aren't big fans either - sometimes it's necessary, but when it's not, you should just no, and don't sign up next year.

But then you can't ask for favors either -if you bail on them, you can't decide you later need their help...

[Anonymous]

Are you picking up and dropping off at people’s houses? For larger carpools I’ve done we always meet at and pick up from the driver’s house.

Don’t feel bad about dropping out. Circumstances change. One family isn’t driving at all (that would piss me off). Just tell them it isn’t working for you.

[Anonymous]

Carpools die a natural death in the MS years exactly for this reason. Agreeing to car pool is an agreement until someone announces it doesn't work. It's not a lifelong agreement. Swimteam is not like a soccer team where there is an "end to the season." There is no end . . . it just goes on and on until they drive themselves. So there's no real natural point to terminate the car pool. Two weeks notice is sufficient. Parents who can't drive and yet want their kids to do this activity will have to figure somethin out. That's not your obligation.

[Anonymous]

+1 That you should stay until the end of the school year or give a few weeks notice if you drop out of the car pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you drive your one day and then your DD alone the rest of the time? Just tell them the reason: riding in the carpool the other days takes up too much homework time.

Not OP here but this is a good idea. They can look for another family to join the carpool.

[Anonymous]

No explanation needed.

I'm sorry, the car pool is no longer working for us.

If you need resolve, consider this: you don't want your DD to be a wuss. Set an example.