Depressed and/or anxious SAHMs what helped you cope?

[Anonymous]

SAHM of 3.5 and 1.5 year-old boys. My husband works extremely long hours so during the week is often just the boys and I from wake up to bedtime. And the stress of this responsibility is really beginning to really wear on me. Going back to work isn’t an option right now. Please tell me what helped you overcome this horrible anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Getting exercise. A lot of it. Find a gym with childcare and go as often as you can.

Get lots of fresh air too - walks outside. Do you have a double stroller?

[Anonymous]

Would Zoloft be helpful?

[Anonymous]

Moms groups and lots and lots of playdates.

I too struggle with being alone with my kids from wakeup to bedtime. When DH is gone (for weeks at a time) I often get a babysitter to come after the kids are asleep and I go out to dinner or book club with friends.

[Anonymous]

Gym with kids club
meds
tv
get out of the house everyday for an activity
part time babysitter

[Anonymous]

Physical activity
Nap times
Eating nutritious foods and keeping away from empty calories
Being out of the house for some time each day
Outsourcing some chores. A clean, uncluttered house helped me enormously.
Multivits, D3, Magnesium and B-complex
Mommy and me classes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SAHM of 3.5 and 1.5 year-old boys. My husband works extremely long hours so during the week is often just the boys and I from wake up to bedtime. And the stress of this responsibility is really beginning to really wear on me. Going back to work isn’t an option right now. Please tell me what helped you overcome this horrible anxiety.

Are your kids special needs? You keep them alive, do some chores, and are accountable to no one. What is stress, is your DH a ‘dinner and martinis’ at door and wants hgtv house?

I would minimize stuff ( less to clean), makes meals simple, and take liberal walks and naps.

[Anonymous]

Can you afford to outsource everything but most of the childcare? If I could, I would get a cleaner once or even twice a week. Maybe get a sitter or neighborhood teen to play with the 3.5 year old once a week so you can just tend to the younger kid. Key for me is leaving the house every day before noon. It doesn’t matter if it’s a walk or a trip to the grocery store.

[Anonymous]

Host a weekly Friday playdate with other moms and their kids - especially if you have mom friends with husbands who work late so they would be eating alone too otherwise. Order pizza, let the kids play and enjoy some wine. Female companionship really helps!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM of 3.5 and 1.5 year-old boys. My husband works extremely long hours so during the week is often just the boys and I from wake up to bedtime. And the stress of this responsibility is really beginning to really wear on me. Going back to work isn’t an option right now. Please tell me what helped you overcome this horrible anxiety.

Are your kids special needs? You keep them alive, do some chores, and are accountable to no one. What is stress, is your DH a ‘dinner and martinis’ at door and wants hgtv house?

I would minimize stuff ( less to clean), makes meals simple, and take liberal walks and naps.

OP here no my kids are just extremely high energy and the littlest is the reason for every child safety device known to man. 3.5 year old is in school only twice a week for a half day but will go 4 half days next year. For now I’m just exhausted. DH is pretty understanding. I’m a terrible cook and my house is almost always a disaster so no stepford wife here. I really don’t know why I’m failing so much at this, especially when it’s a breeze for my friends. Thank you for the recs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM of 3.5 and 1.5 year-old boys. My husband works extremely long hours so during the week is often just the boys and I from wake up to bedtime. And the stress of this responsibility is really beginning to really wear on me. Going back to work isn’t an option right now. Please tell me what helped you overcome this horrible anxiety.

Are your kids special needs? You keep them alive, do some chores, and are accountable to no one. What is stress, is your DH a ‘dinner and martinis’ at door and wants hgtv house?

I would minimize stuff ( less to clean), makes meals simple, and take liberal walks and naps.

OP here no my kids are just extremely high energy and the littlest is the reason for every child safety device known to man. 3.5 year old is in school only twice a week for a half day but will go 4 half days next year. For now I’m just exhausted. DH is pretty understanding. I’m a terrible cook and my house is almost always a disaster so no stepford wife here. I really don’t know why I’m failing so much at this, especially when it’s a breeze for my friends. Thank you for the recs.

You’re not failing, nor is it a breeze, and PP was not being very understanding in that first paragraph. It’s not just “keeping them alive.” DS is 2.5 and is an absolute maniac. I told him today that until he can learn to not run out into the street, he will need to ride in the stroller for every car-to-destination occasion. DD was and can still be emotionally taxing, but never pulled that ish! And you have two high energy boys!

I don’t know if you can afford quality help, but having someone to keep the kids entertained and help you around the house once or twice weekly while you invest in some kind of self-care would be great. Galley and Territory are food delivery services that provide healthy, interesting meals that only require heating. Other than that, we keep meals very simple: quesadillas, sandwiches, soups, etc. with a veggie and cut apples. Yogurt if all else fails. We have a lightweight cordless vacuum and keep things tidy and relatively clean, and have a cleaner come every other week to tie up the loose ends. I prefer not to outsource laundry, so I listen to podcasts or watch tv as I deal with clothes. Consider a community-rich preschool, maybe a co op or other type of school where parents are heavily involved. Someone recommended Zoloft. That did not work for me, but it could be a consideration along with talk therapy.

[Anonymous]

Even if going back isn’t an option, could you get a very part time job or even volunteer and hire a sitter? I really needed the mental stimulation and break from the kids—it did more for me than anything else I tried.

[Anonymous]

Get a sitter for the 3 hrs a day that includes the 1.5 y.o.’s nap. You need a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even if going back isn’t an option, could you get a very part time job or even volunteer and hire a sitter? I really needed the mental stimulation and break from the kids—it did more for me than anything else I tried.

I agree with this. Especially when you have intensely high energy kids like this - and I do - doing something mentally stimulating that pulls you out of mom mode is critical. Why can't you work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM of 3.5 and 1.5 year-old boys. My husband works extremely long hours so during the week is often just the boys and I from wake up to bedtime. And the stress of this responsibility is really beginning to really wear on me. Going back to work isn’t an option right now. Please tell me what helped you overcome this horrible anxiety.

Are your kids special needs? You keep them alive, do some chores, and are accountable to no one. What is stress, is your DH a ‘dinner and martinis’ at door and wants hgtv house?

I would minimize stuff ( less to clean), makes meals simple, and take liberal walks and naps.

?? I wouldn't define any kid as special needs. Weird/offensive way to word it