Depressed and/or anxious SAHMs what helped you cope?

[Anonymous]

I was diagnosed with the adhd and started medication to treat it. Threw in some Zoloft because I had anxiety too. I made sure to get exercise. Joining a gym helped. The more sleep I got, the better I felt.

It was really important for me to maintain relationships with other adults. I made sure to have adult only time with friends, whether it meant having DH commit to being home so I could go to dinner with friends, or I’d get a sitter.

I also learned to let go of feeling like I needed to be a perfect mother or wife. That was freeing.

[Anonymous]

I set some goals to achieve for myself and accomplished them - started running and ran long distances, eventually a half marathon. I ran on a treadmill at the gym and my kids went to the gym childcare. I found a part time job. Eventually went back to work FT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I set some goals to achieve for myself and accomplished them - started running and ran long distances, eventually a half marathon. I ran on a treadmill at the gym and my kids went to the gym childcare. I found a part time job. Eventually went back to work FT.

Yep this.
I was going to suggest exercise and going back to work!

[Anonymous]

Get out of the house. Every day. Take the kids to library story time or church circle or anywhere you can network with other adults (even older women). Social isolation leads to depression and anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting away from the kids as much as possible. Full day preschool for the oldest and part time for the youngest.

Why even bother stay home?

Perhaps you missed it in the original post where OP said that going back to work wasn’t an option. It isn’t an option for many people for various reasons. Childcare for two kids is expensive, for one. Many people lack the support that is needed to be a working mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting away from the kids as much as possible. Full day preschool for the oldest and part time for the youngest.

Why even bother stay home?

Perhaps you missed it in the original post where OP said that going back to work wasn’t an option. It isn’t an option for many people for various reasons. Childcare for two kids is expensive, for one. Many people lack the support that is needed to be a working mother.

Wrong. There is absolutely NO reason a woman must stay home, especially if she’s unhappy. If you lack the “support,” then divorce your husband and use the alimony and child support to pay for support. Staying home means OP isn’t contributing to a retirement account. If she’s someone who stays home nevause of childcare expenses then that’s a serious mistake because it means she isn’t wealthy enough to not worry about retirement. Her husband is using her for unpaid labor and she’s unhappy. Telling her she has to stay home is criminal.

[Anonymous]

Whatever you do - don’t have more kids. So many women are depressed but continue to have children. Children are a financial and emotional drain. Instead work on making yourself happy. Find a career you love, spend time with friends, and get your husband to be an equal partner. Don’t accept your lot in life to be a miserable SAHM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting away from the kids as much as possible. Full day preschool for the oldest and part time for the youngest.

Why even bother stay home?

Perhaps you missed it in the original post where OP said that going back to work wasn’t an option. It isn’t an option for many people for various reasons. Childcare for two kids is expensive, for one. Many people lack the support that is needed to be a working mother.

Wrong. There is absolutely NO reason a woman must stay home, especially if she’s unhappy. If you lack the “support,” then divorce your husband and use the alimony and child support to pay for support. Staying home means OP isn’t contributing to a retirement account. If she’s someone who stays home nevause of childcare expenses then that’s a serious mistake because it means she isn’t wealthy enough to not worry about retirement. Her husband is using her for unpaid labor and she’s unhappy. Telling her she has to stay home is criminal.

What a ray of sunshine.

[Anonymous]

First, recognize that the anxiety is about you, not your situation. Then, treat your anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting away from the kids as much as possible. Full day preschool for the oldest and part time for the youngest.

Why even bother stay home?

Perhaps you missed it in the original post where OP said that going back to work wasn’t an option. It isn’t an option for many people for various reasons. Childcare for two kids is expensive, for one. Many people lack the support that is needed to be a working mother.

Wrong. There is absolutely NO reason a woman must stay home, especially if she’s unhappy. If you lack the “support,” then divorce your husband and use the alimony and child support to pay for support. Staying home means OP isn’t contributing to a retirement account. If she’s someone who stays home nevause of childcare expenses then that’s a serious mistake because it means she isn’t wealthy enough to not worry about retirement. Her husband is using her for unpaid labor and she’s unhappy. Telling her she has to stay home is criminal.

What a ray of sunshine.

Yeah I’m so negative to suggest OP return to work and improve her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, recognize that the anxiety is about you, not your situation. Then, treat your anxiety.

I’d argue that SAH with toddlers can make many people anxious and depressed—that it probably is situational.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, recognize that the anxiety is about you, not your situation. Then, treat your anxiety.

I’d argue that SAH with toddlers can make many people anxious and depressed—that it probably is situational.

For me it absolutely was situational. It lifted nearly immediately when I returned to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, recognize that the anxiety is about you, not your situation. Then, treat your anxiety.

I’d argue that SAH with toddlers can make many people anxious and depressed—that it probably is situational.

Yep, that’s why many of us have offered up the suggestion of getting sitters, gym, preschool, etc to get a break from the kids. They are mentally draining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting away from the kids as much as possible. Full day preschool for the oldest and part time for the youngest.

Why even bother stay home?

Perhaps you missed it in the original post where OP said that going back to work wasn’t an option. It isn’t an option for many people for various reasons. Childcare for two kids is expensive, for one. Many people lack the support that is needed to be a working mother.

Wrong. There is absolutely NO reason a woman must stay home, especially if she’s unhappy. If you lack the “support,” then divorce your husband and use the alimony and child support to pay for support. Staying home means OP isn’t contributing to a retirement account. If she’s someone who stays home nevause of childcare expenses then that’s a serious mistake because it means she isn’t wealthy enough to not worry about retirement. Her husband is using her for unpaid labor and she’s unhappy. Telling her she has to stay home is criminal.

Math is hard for you, isn’t it.

[Anonymous]

Take meds and get a part time sitter for yourself.