Is There a Stigma Attached to Receiving Financial Aid?--sorry, noticed typo in earlier posting

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are submitting applications for our DC for Pre-K. And we're also considering applying for financial aid, because our finances have suffered some in the past few years. We both work hard, but DC is self-employed and has not been able to attract as many clients due to the economic downturn. Our expectation/hope is that once the economy turns around in the next few years, we won't need the aid anymore. But in the meantime, we definitely would need the help.

Is there a stigma attached to receiving financial aid at private schools? Specifically, is there anyway that other families could find out, if we receive assistance?
And if they do find out, do you think that our family and our DC would be treated any differently by the other families? We're nervous about this, so any insight would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I think my response just get zapped under your typo thread.

Some applicants as a strategy hold off applying for FA when they seek admission, then apply for FA for the second year. I don't know if you can swing that. I cannot get a handle on how much applying for FA affects admissions decisions, it seems to vary from school to school.

[Anonymous]

I think who knows that you receive FA would vary school to school. My family recevied aid at a small preschool and I never felt a stigma. Nor did anyone other than the accounting staff ever mention our status.

I know that at this school the financial aid decisions were made by a committee. I decided never to find out who was on the committee, so I wouldn't ever know who had reviewed my info.

similar situation to yours, a discreet set of circumstances changed our financial picture for several years

[Anonymous]

1 in 3 families receives aid at our school...so no stigma

[Anonymous]

First of all, if you are concerned that other families would think less of you b/c you receive aid, perhaps the school isn't the right environment for you. I don't think any family would know whether you receive aid or not. It is only the financial aid committee who knows. The admissions people don't even know in most cases since admission and FA decisions are made by separate committees. Honestly, I would also never pay full price your first year and then hope to get FA the following yrs. Some schools see your ability to pay the first year as a sign that you can pay every year (unless your financial situation has changed for the worse).

[Anonymous]

In general, no one should know if you are on financial aid. However, it may be obvious that you are not at the same economic level as most other children. That could cause some feelings of not fitting in. Additionally, the fundraising committee may know who is on financial aid, or at least will know whether to shake you down for "the gap" or just to ask for participation. I'm sure it varies from school to school how all that is handled. That info is kept strictly confidential, but I'm sure there is some leakage of info depending on the people working on that committee.

[Anonymous]

Do you think this is because schools are less likely to admit you, if you are applying for financial aid? Especially in this economy?

Anonymous wrote:I think my response just get zapped under your typo thread.

Some applicants as a strategy hold off applying for FA when they seek admission, then apply for FA for the second year. I don't know if you can swing that. I cannot get a handle on how much applying for FA affects admissions decisions, it seems to vary from school to school.

[Anonymous]

I have no clue as to which families at my DC's school receive financial aid. I do know lots of families where grandparents or the World Bank are paying tuition (because they're our friends and have mentioned these arrangements). It's not something that I think or care about.

Basically, anyone who would look down on your because you get financial aid, would look down on you if your house wasn't as big or your clothes weren't as expensive or your cars as flashy as theirs. And resent you if your house was bigger, your clothes more expensive, and your cars flashier, LOL! Not worth worrying about.

OTOH, local private schools are not where you want to be if you or your DC(s) are going to feel bad if you're surrounded by people who are into conspicuous consumption or talking about their expensive holidays or summer homes. There's a lot of that.

[Anonymous]

At our school I have no idea who's on financial aid. I have picked up or dropped off for playdates or been invited to homes where it's clear there's a more frugal lifestyle than ours, but I have not noticed these children or families treated any differently by the community and would never have been aware of the difference had I not visited. And these families may well not be on financial aid for all I know.

I say if you like the school go ahead and apply.

[Anonymous]

Our school keeps it pretty quiet about who gets aid, but I bet I could guess which families do and could not care less. Those families all have nice children, some of which my children have befriended, and I am delighted that my children are being exposed to more than one socio-economic group. They dont care that they're sleeping over in a teeny house in a poorer neighborhood, and neither do I, as long as they make friends and get along well.

[Anonymous]

We never knew who was on financial aid until someone mentioned it or until there was a college FAFSA seminar teaching people how to fill out the forms. We didn't go to that seminar because we didn't want people to know our business. We figured the form out by ourselves...it wasn't tough.

[Anonymous]

OP, here. Thanks for the great feedback. I think we will go ahead and apply.

[Anonymous]

15:16: "... teeny house in a poorer neighborhood..." So condescending. Reminds me of that commercial long ago in the mid- to late-'70s. A grandfather and his grandson are fishing on a lake and the grandpa asks who his grandson's friends are in school. The boy replies something along the lines of, "Well Jack is my friend, and Josh is my Jewish friend." And Grandpa duly points out that making those types of racial distinctions isn't right, nice, or polite.

[Anonymous]

OP,
No one but me mentioned that it might hurt your chances of admission, emphasis on might. There was recently a thread about this.

[Anonymous]

I actually think it does hurt your chances of admission (speaking from my personal experience) but such is life - I'm not willing to say I can afford it if I can't and I actually don't agree with the bait and switch approach (i.e. not applying for aid knowing fully well that you intend to apply once DC is in). No need to flame - I would rather think my DC was not accepted because of something I did ... because she's a pretty outstanding kid and strong student with good scores etc., etc. and we're a comfortable but not rich or well connected family. All's well that ends well though - we are quite happy where we ended up.