DH received a Valentines Day card from another woman

[Anonymous]

I usually don’t get the mail, but was home sick today, and did walk down to the mailbox.

And what’s there but a red envelope addressed to DH, almost definitely a Valentines Day card from a woman he knows. He claims to be “just good friends” with this woman, but a Valentines Day card???

I didn’t open it. This woman loves to send little cards and notes- she sends postcards all the time, which is weird, but at least I can read them. There is nothing obviously inappropriate about the postcards, but it’s stilll weird...

I’m sure he’ll just brush it off as “no big deal”. But it is a big deal, right? What do I say to DH? Or do I just let it go?

[Anonymous]

Did you open it and read it?

Even if it's completely innocent, it's not appropriate to send a married person a Valentine's Day card.

I would have no problem explaining this to her myself. I would assume she has a social communication disability like Asperger's.

[Anonymous]

I'd ask him to see the card. If your gut is telling you it's off, I'd also say, "hey, my gut tells me this is weird. I'd like you to make sure you have appropriate boundaries with this woman."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd ask him to see the card. If your gut is telling you it's off, I'd also say, "hey, my gut tells me this is weird. I'd like you to make sure you have appropriate boundaries with this woman."

This is good- Thank you.

[Anonymous]

I’d have opened it and thrown it in the trash.

[Anonymous]

While I agree it is inappropriate to send a married man a Valentines Day card, I would also need to know the context of their friendship.

Is she a Lesbian?
Is she elderly??
Etc.

Not EVERY man/woman platonic relationship has to be sexual in nature.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While I agree it is inappropriate to send a married man a Valentines Day card, I would also need to know the context of their friendship.

Is she a Lesbian?
Is she elderly??
Etc.

Not EVERY man/woman platonic relationship has to be sexual in nature.....

Right, but every adult is supposed to know that it's inappropriate. It's a red flag for crossed boundaries even if it's not sexual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d have opened it and thrown it in the trash.

Opening up mail that is not yours is a Federal offense

I wouldn’t risk it.
Lol.

[Anonymous]

I don't even give my DH a card and I'm madly in love with him, so yea, that's bats*it weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d have opened it and thrown it in the trash.

Oh, I’m tempted to do it, but I do trust DH. He’s a very empathetic guy- I can see this woman having a an unreciprocated crush and he’s too nice to say anything.

But, there is that tiny voice that wonders if I’m missing something.

[Anonymous]

Is she Asian? What’s their actual relationship? It’s closer to lunar new year than it is to Valentines. You know, red envelopes aren’t always what you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d have opened it and thrown it in the trash.

Oh, I’m tempted to do it, but I do trust DH. He’s a very empathetic guy- I can see this woman having a an unreciprocated crush and he’s too nice to say anything.

But, there is that tiny voice that wonders if I’m missing something.

Um, no. No remotely sane person is going to send a married man a Valentine's Day card under any circumstance.

I would absolutely demand to see the card. I probably would have opened it myself.

[Anonymous]

Are you kidding? Open it!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she Asian? What’s their actual relationship? It’s closer to lunar new year than it is to Valentines. You know, red envelopes aren’t always what you think.

Good point, but I'm assuming OP actually knows it's a Valentine's card if she took the trouble to post. Otherwise, yes, OP, check before getting into a tizzy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d have opened it and thrown it in the trash.

Opening up mail that is not yours is a Federal offense

I wouldn’t risk it.
Lol.

Please! What DH would dare turn you in. I stand by my advice. I’d open it and trash it.