Is this crazy?

[Anonymous]

I don’t like entertaining in my own house, I am not a cook and frankly it stresses me out. My husband is the opposite. I let him know no super bowl party this year due to my anxiety as we had a party 2 weeks ago for playoff game. He still invited people. He tells me I just need to get over it. I don’t know how to respond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t like entertaining in my own house, I am not a cook and frankly it stresses me out. My husband is the opposite. I let him know no super bowl party this year due to my anxiety as we had a party 2 weeks ago for playoff game. He still invited people. He tells me I just need to get over it. I don’t know how to respond.

Your response is to get over it.

[Anonymous]

Let him invite people over. Let him plan what food to have. Let him shop for and prepare such food. Hide in your room during the game if you want. Don’t clean the house special or anything. Basically, let him have his friends over and do the entertaining.

[Anonymous]

It sucks when you're not respected in your own home, but at this point what's done is done and you can't change the fact people are coming over. In your shoes I'd be pissed, but I also wouldn't lift a finger to help out (unless my mood changed and I felt like it, but in this case I probably wouldn't just to drive home the point that this wasn't my party.) Then I'd make a plate of food, chow down, and then go to a movie or to get a massage, window shopping, etc. Hide a few beers or whatever you want to have later. Don't shop. Don't clean up. Don't bring it up again except to ask how his party was. Do your own thing and get out of the house.

[Anonymous]

Did he invite the guys or mixed couples?

[Anonymous]

I'd say, ok, well have fun! I told you I wasn't up for entertaining, so I'm going to go shopping, then see a movie. Be home around 9!

[Anonymous]

Leave and go and do your own thing.

Let him throw his parties - this is a pretty major sports event.

[Anonymous]

Kind of a similar situation here. I am a football fan and watch most games. When we have families over it ends up being the typical dynamic—women chatting together away from the TV and mostly dealing with the food and the kids while the guys watch the game and eat. I don’t want to deal with that during games that I want to watch (like the Super Bowl) so we don’t invite families over for those games. DH wanted to have some people over tonight so just invited some guy friends. We end up looking like a**holes because the moms and kids aren’t included. I asked him to not invite people over tonight for that reason but he still did.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Nope, he invited families which means I need to be here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t like entertaining in my own house, I am not a cook and frankly it stresses me out. My husband is the opposite. I let him know no super bowl party this year due to my anxiety as we had a party 2 weeks ago for playoff game. He still invited people. He tells me I just need to get over it. I don’t know how to respond.

Your response is to get over it.

+1 and make plans out of your house let him host the best party he wants - without any of your help.

I wouldn’t even clean the house.

[Anonymous]

Op, sorry to hear. He clearly disrespected you as it’s one thing to invite just guys but another thing to pull you in by inviting families when you made it clear to him. I am sorry. That just sucks and is wrong. I guess try to do what you can to survive tonight but I would be so angry.

[Anonymous]

So you don't want him to be friendly and invite people over ever? He's alloted a 1x time "pass" of having people over for a playoff game once a year? No building friendships? No socializing in the comfort of his home?

It's not like he's having people over every single weekend. Entertaining friends (especially ones with families) here and there is not unreasonable.

You should look into talking to your doc about your social anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you don't want him to be friendly and invite people over ever? He's alloted a 1x time "pass" of having people over for a playoff game once a year? No building friendships? No socializing in the comfort of his home?

It's not like he's having people over every single weekend. Entertaining friends (especially ones with families) here and there is not unreasonable.

You should look into talking to your doc about your social anxiety.

Op has already said he has friends over all the time and so that doesn’t seem to be the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Nope, he invited families which means I need to be here!

I would be livid. if he wants to invite the guys and entertain them thats one thing. But to involve families which forces you into situation you didnt want to do....nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you don't want him to be friendly and invite people over ever? He's alloted a 1x time "pass" of having people over for a playoff game once a year? No building friendships? No socializing in the comfort of his home?

It's not like he's having people over every single weekend. Entertaining friends (especially ones with families) here and there is not unreasonable.

You should look into talking to your doc about your social anxiety.

Its stresses her out to entertain. If he wants to do it thats fine, but he should do all the work. If I were OP I would leave and let him deal with it. Would cause a huge fight im sure but oh well.