Answer for “why does it matter?” (Drinking)
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Anonymous
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DH and I have been fighting about his drinking. He has always been a drinker but I think it has escalated.
He starts early in evening and by the time we need to put kids down he is grumpy and impatient. He is also so tired that he doesn’t help me when they wake up at night. He watched the kids the other weekend morning so I could catch up on sleep. I came downstairs at 10 am and he had already had two beers. I (understandably) get upset and his response “why does it matter? It’s the weekend” I stared at him with my mouth open... It got me thinking...how do you explain other than “it’s not healthy/normal”....and why am I having to explain this?! I did say that I will not expose my kids to this. He said, “oh so you won’t expose them to a loving father? Great idea”.....I weirdly kind of see where he is coming from with that one. I mean I don’t fear for their safety, I just do not think the drinking is anywhere near an acceptable level. Thoughts? Advice? What can I say?! |
Anonymous
| Right there with you!! |
Anonymous
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This is happening in our house too - I’m the only one who sees DH’s drinking as a problem, hence I am the one with a problem, from his perspective.
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Anonymous
| Does he drink everyday? It’s sad that he drinks every time it’s “family time.” |
Anonymous
| Alonon. |
Anonymous
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2 beers by 10am! Drinking for several hours every evening? Defensiveness? Huge red flags.
Tell your DH that most loving fathers don’t need beer to spend time with their kids. |
Anonymous
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Daily drinking leads to chronic medical issues, which significantly negatively impacts your family. Also, the fact he cannot pass time without alcohol is troubling.
No child wants to grow up seeing a drunk dad. |
Anonymous
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"Why does it matter" is not an answer. it is stone-walling, deflecting, non-response. And it never stops.
Dump him. |
Anonymous
he's attacking you because he's scared you'll take away the drink and because drinking makes him mean. The answer is "I will not expose my kids to an alcoholic parent who starts drinking at 10 am on a Saturday morning and thinks its acceptable. Or who drinks every night from the time he gets home to sleep. or who treats badly because of his drinking." |
Anonymous
| Seriously...start videotaping him drunk |
Anonymous
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It gets worse before it gets better, if ever. And even better is rare.
Please get out if you can, ASAP. If you love him, you'll leave. |
Anonymous
| Find an AlAnon meeting and go as previous poster said |
Anonymous
| It matters because I don't want to be married to a drunk, raising my kids with a drunk and my kids to have a drunk for a parent. |
Anonymous
| If it was Prosecco at brunch, would you feel any different? |
Anonymous
NP here. Every Saturday? Before 10am? That’s still a red flag. |