New STA parent seeking advice, suggestions, or just plain "I wish I had known X" info

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At the risk of upsetting certain group, I will just say this:

The term 'bullying' is applying so loosely now that I think it waters down the true 'bullied' cases. Kids can be tough on each other but you can't categorize all as bullying. An example: year or so ago at DC's previous school, one kid said something in the class and rest of the class thought it was funny and laughed. Not in the mean way, which even the teacher and school administrators agreed. But nonetheless the kid got upset (because he wasn't trying to be funny), told his parents, whom then went to the administrator. Teacher got called in, had an intervention, HOS came to the classroom and talked to the kids, then a whole school 'sensitivity training'! Incidence like this masked those that are truly being bullied.

And don't even get me started on ADHD diagnosis

Thank you for your post. I understand what you mean that not every single thing is bullying. However people have given examples and I think in my book in the way I'm teaching my children what is kind and what is not - the example of a boy telling a kid in front of all his friends and peers that he's not invited to walk over to someone's house IS social bullying. I guess we all have our standards of how we're trying to raise our children. For me, I'd rather err on the side of being kind.

j

Completely agree. Thank you for raising kind, non-bullying children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also I would add that a parent that has a Halloween party and invites EVERY single sta boy in the grade in the neighborhood except for one boy who then did not have anyone to go out with is also equally mean.

That's heartbreaking. I see what is meant by the apple/tree reference made previously. Shameful behavior by the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also I would add that a parent that has a Halloween party and invites EVERY single sta boy in the grade in the neighborhood except for one boy who then did not have anyone to go out with is also equally mean.

That's heartbreaking. I see what is meant by the apple/tree reference made previously. Shameful behavior by the parents.

Wow, that is so sad to hear. That poor kid. People can be so cruel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also I would add that a parent that has a Halloween party and invites EVERY single sta boy in the grade in the neighborhood except for one boy who then did not have anyone to go out with is also equally mean.

Would the STA administration get involved in cases like this? I believe (or would like to believe) that Beauvoir's current administration would. It's pretty awful and blatant to exclude one child like that. Really egregious behavior on the part of the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also I would add that a parent that has a Halloween party and invites EVERY single sta boy in the grade in the neighborhood except for one boy who then did not have anyone to go out with is also equally mean.

Would the STA administration get involved in cases like this? I believe (or would like to believe) that Beauvoir's current administration would. It's pretty awful and blatant to exclude one child like that. Really egregious behavior on the part of the parents.

Totally agree. But what is the administration of a school supposed to do about this? It's a private party and, like it or not, people can invite to their home whomever they wish. It's unfair of people to expect the school to intervene.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also I would add that a parent that has a Halloween party and invites EVERY single sta boy in the grade in the neighborhood except for one boy who then did not have anyone to go out with is also equally mean.

Would the STA administration get involved in cases like this? I believe (or would like to believe) that Beauvoir's current administration would. It's pretty awful and blatant to exclude one child like that. Really egregious behavior on the part of the parents.

Totally agree. But what is the administration of a school supposed to do about this? It's a private party and, like it or not, people can invite to their home whomever they wish. It's unfair of people to expect the school to intervene.

That's true but when the family calls next time for school fundraising maybe just hang up and they will get the point.

It also is extremely concerning about the parents of the children who attended the party. Granted they may not have known in advance but it speaks volumes about them that there was not a general uproar and group self-correction afterwards. That says to me that either people agreed and supported the exclusion OR they were intimidated into not asserting that their value system did not support that bullying action against the child. It is so appalling that a child was purposefully and visibly excluded like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also I would add that a parent that has a Halloween party and invites EVERY single sta boy in the grade in the neighborhood except for one boy who then did not have anyone to go out with is also equally mean.

Would the STA administration get involved in cases like this? I believe (or would like to believe) that Beauvoir's current administration would. It's pretty awful and blatant to exclude one child like that. Really egregious behavior on the part of the parents.

Totally agree. But what is the administration of a school supposed to do about this? It's a private party and, like it or not, people can invite to their home whomever they wish. It's unfair of people to expect the school to intervene.

That's true but when the family calls next time for school fundraising maybe just hang up and they will get the point.

The schools hands are tied. It comes down to selecting families (not the innocent boys) that will represent the school in a way that is consistent with the values they are selling. This type of parental social engineering sucks and makes the entire school look awful. It doesn't have to be this way. The only hope is that a stabilization takes effect after he insular 4th, 5th, 6th grades are over. Thank heavens for the the larger enrollment in the upper grades because I guarantee hat kids that have been off the close have no tolerance for this bs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also I would add that a parent that has a Halloween party and invites EVERY single sta boy in the grade in the neighborhood except for one boy who then did not have anyone to go out with is also equally mean.

That's heartbreaking. I see what is meant by the apple/tree reference made previously. Shameful behavior by the parents.

Yes and the one boy he was supposed to go trick or treating with got invited to the party and he cancelled on him at the last minute and his mother let him do that and never called to explain to the boy or his mother or apologize. Some of these people are taking on active roles in the school which makes it even sadder because one would hope families in those positions would lead by example. School was made aware but nothing done.

[Anonymous]

I cannot believe you are airing this petty grievance on a public forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe you are airing this petty grievance on a public forum.

I am sure it wasn't petty to the boy involved.

[Anonymous]

But really? You might as well say this is Mrs. Xxx and I have a child at STA named Xxx and the Xxx family did this to us....why are you outing yourself and embarrassing yourself in a public forum??? I understand your family's feelings were hurt but why not discuss it privately with the family involved and what does this have to do with the school??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But really? You might as well say this is Mrs. Xxx and I have a child at STA named Xxx and the Xxx family did this to us....why are you outing yourself and embarrassing yourself in a public forum??? I understand your family's feelings were hurt but why not discuss it privately with the family involved and what does this have to do with the school??

I am not the parent of the boy first of all. I just heard about it and it made me very upset. Also, noone mentioned the grade they are in and there are 9 grades at STA and it could have happened this year or last year so there are lots of possibilities of who it could be. You sound kind of paranoid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But really? You might as well say this is Mrs. Xxx and I have a child at STA named Xxx and the Xxx family did this to us....why are you outing yourself and embarrassing yourself in a public forum??? I understand your family's feelings were hurt but why not discuss it privately with the family involved and what does this have to do with the school??

I am not the parent of the boy first of all. I just heard about it and it made me very upset. Also, no one mentioned the grade they are in and there are 9 grades at STA and it could have happened this year or last year so there are lots of possibilities of who it could be. You sound kind of paranoid.

Still think it is a weird thing to discuss on a public forum.

My child goes to XYZ school and once was teased by a classmate - I don't go on public forums to discuss it - I go directly to the people involved. This is very childish behavior for an adult. Also - this has nothing to do with the forum topic.....at ANY school there are going to be occasions where kids and/or families don't get along - has nothing to do with this particular school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But really? You might as well say this is Mrs. Xxx and I have a child at STA named Xxx and the Xxx family did this to us....why are you outing yourself and embarrassing yourself in a public forum??? I understand your family's feelings were hurt but why not discuss it privately with the family involved and what does this have to do with the school??

I am not the parent of the boy first of all. I just heard about it and it made me very upset. Also, no one mentioned the grade they are in and there are 9 grades at STA and it could have happened this year or last year so there are lots of possibilities of who it could be. You sound kind of paranoid.

Still think it is a weird thing to discuss on a public forum.

My child goes to XYZ school and once was teased by a classmate - I don't go on public forums to discuss it - I go directly to the people involved. This is very childish behavior for an adult. Also - this has nothing to do with the forum topic.....at ANY school there are going to be occasions where kids and/or families don't get along - has nothing to do with this particular school.

But you go on public forums to chastise people that do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But really? You might as well say this is Mrs. Xxx and I have a child at STA named Xxx and the Xxx family did this to us....why are you outing yourself and embarrassing yourself in a public forum??? I understand your family's feelings were hurt but why not discuss it privately with the family involved and what does this have to do with the school??

I am not the parent of the boy first of all. I just heard about it and it made me very upset. Also, no one mentioned the grade they are in and there are 9 grades at STA and it could have happened this year or last year so there are lots of possibilities of who it could be. You sound kind of paranoid.

Still think it is a weird thing to discuss on a public forum.

My child goes to XYZ school and once was teased by a classmate - I don't go on public forums to discuss it - I go directly to the people involved. This is very childish behavior for an adult. Also - this has nothing to do with the forum topic.....at ANY school there are going to be occasions where kids and/or families don't get along - has nothing to do with this particular school.

Sta is a wonderful school and community. I believe posters were asking what certain classes are like and I guess people responded accordingly. That's useful information for people considering applying to certain grades whether you think it is or not. Even if it's a wonderful school if you have boys or parents that are behaving this way, that may be useful information to know in advance because for certain boys, this sort of thing doesn't bother them. However, if you have a sweet and quiet boy as the poster above described, they may get swallowed up by this sort of behavior.