New STA parent seeking advice, suggestions, or just plain "I wish I had known X" info

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:14:40 - I am sorry to inform you that you are not as clever as you think. I am the 12:01 poster, but did not post either of the other posts you mentioned. I am, and clearly so are others, interested and/or concerned about the claims of social bullying in certain classes at STA.

To everyone else, it seems strange for boys this age to be participating in social bullying. Can anyone give real examples or is this just lies or exaggerations of a disgruntled parent?

Why is it so strange to hear about middle school kids social bullying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:14:40 - I am sorry to inform you that you are not as clever as you think. I am the 12:01 poster, but did not post either of the other posts you mentioned. I am, and clearly so are others, interested and/or concerned about the claims of social bullying in certain classes at STA.

To everyone else, it seems strange for boys this age to be participating in social bullying. Can anyone give real examples or is this just lies or exaggerations of a disgruntled parent?

What an oddly defensive reply. I am not the poster to whom you are replying but I find your response strange and of course social bullying happens at this age. Middle school is I think were it happens the most.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:14:40 - I am sorry to inform you that you are not as clever as you think. I am the 12:01 poster, but did not post either of the other posts you mentioned. I am, and clearly so are others, interested and/or concerned about the claims of social bullying in certain classes at STA.

To everyone else, it seems strange for boys this age to be participating in social bullying. Can anyone give real examples or is this just lies or exaggerations of a disgruntled parent?

It's particularly important since some of these people inquiring might have sons applying to the 7th grade and this forum, for all of its god-awfulness, does from time-to-time include information that is not gained from other sources. Perhaps people love to target STA, however, there is a discernible lack of similar information about other comparable schools where their sons may be applying.

Hence the concern from reasonable people about social bullying, which obviously means exclusion and is damn hurtful, about the current 6th and 7th graders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:14:40 - I am sorry to inform you that you are not as clever as you think. I am the 12:01 poster, but did not post either of the other posts you mentioned. I am, and clearly so are others, interested and/or concerned about the claims of social bullying in certain classes at STA.

To everyone else, it seems strange for boys this age to be participating in social bullying. Can anyone give real examples or is this just lies or exaggerations of a disgruntled parent?

It's particularly important since some of these people inquiring might have sons applying to the 7th grade and this forum, for all of its god-awfulness, does from time-to-time include information that is not gained from other sources. Perhaps people love to target STA, however, there is a discernible lack of similar information about other comparable schools where their sons may be applying.

Hence the concern from reasonable people about social bullying, which obviously means exclusion and is damn hurtful, about the current 6th and 7th graders.

STA is a wonderful school and community and most boys and parents are so kind and supportive and just normal. That being said, I am a not the poster above but I will also confirm that I too have heard from a few different parents that there is social exclusion happening in one of the grades mentioned above and that the parents of those boys are encouraging the behavior. I have heard this from different parents that have no reason to lie and they are not even friends with one another but yet their stories corroborate. I have heard examples but if I list them here that would not be nice as it would openly out these boys and their parents and I don't want to do that. I will add that unfortunately upon hearing these things I was not surprised as the apples don't fall far from the tree...

[Anonymous]

I understand you not wanting to provide many details but could you please say if this is the current 6th or 7th grade. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

I think that the apple doesn't fall from the tree and the children who are bullies learned how to be bullies at home. And we are seeing evidence of that chain of behavior here.

[Anonymous]

Agree with apple/tree posters. Think of the biggest asshat dads in the school. 9 times out of 10, junior is a disruptive and out of control bully.

[Anonymous]

Curious as a Beauvoir parent--does it seem like the bullies are random or does it seem as if they are all from a specific? It also seems like it's the luck of the draw per class, some are great some are terrible. So far, we have not experienced any boys who are bullies but there are a few rude and annoying ones, which I guess is par for the course. On the whole, we've found the student body to be incredibly kind. My hope is that this continues on to the cathedral schools.

To the above pp--what grade was the bully boy who humiliated the little boy? That seems worthy of mentioning to the school. What a twirp, that makes me soooooo angry.

[Anonymous]

Wow these posts are getting deleted fast...what gives?

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:Wow these posts are getting deleted fast...what gives?

Please don't post this sort thing in the regular forums. If you want to make this sort of comment, please use the Website Feedback forum. Posting here just derails the thread and gives me another post to delete.

However, I will take this opportunity to address the topic that is being deleted. We have to be very careful when speaking about children. One child was described in great detail allowing the child to be easily identified. Much of the information that was posted was a result of gossip with posters unsure of it's veracity and other posters contradicting each other. While we love for DCUM to be used to share information, we'd rather that information not be gossip about young children. Please refrain from further posts of that nature and address any questions about this to the proper forum.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow these posts are getting deleted fast...what gives?

Please don't post this sort thing in the regular forums. If you want to make this sort of comment, please use the Website Feedback forum. Posting here just derails the thread and gives me another post to delete.

However, I will take this opportunity to address the topic that is being deleted. We have to be very careful when speaking about children. One child was described in great detail allowing the child to be easily identified. Much of the information that was posted was a result of gossip with posters unsure of it's veracity and other posters contradicting each other. While we love for DCUM to be used to share information, we'd rather that information not be gossip about young children. Please refrain from further posts of that nature and address any questions about this to the proper forum.

Thank you. I agree completely.

[Anonymous]

At the risk of upsetting certain group, I will just say this:

The term 'bullying' is applying so loosely now that I think it waters down the true 'bullied' cases. Kids can be tough on each other but you can't categorize all as bullying. An example: year or so ago at DC's previous school, one kid said something in the class and rest of the class thought it was funny and laughed. Not in the mean way, which even the teacher and school administrators agreed. But nonetheless the kid got upset (because he wasn't trying to be funny), told his parents, whom then went to the administrator. Teacher got called in, had an intervention, HOS came to the classroom and talked to the kids, then a whole school 'sensitivity training'! Incidence like this masked those that are truly being bullied.

And don't even get me started on ADHD diagnosis

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At the risk of upsetting certain group, I will just say this:

The term 'bullying' is applying so loosely now that I think it waters down the true 'bullied' cases. Kids can be tough on each other but you can't categorize all as bullying. An example: year or so ago at DC's previous school, one kid said something in the class and rest of the class thought it was funny and laughed. Not in the mean way, which even the teacher and school administrators agreed. But nonetheless the kid got upset (because he wasn't trying to be funny), told his parents, whom then went to the administrator. Teacher got called in, had an intervention, HOS came to the classroom and talked to the kids, then a whole school 'sensitivity training'! Incidence like this masked those that are truly being bullied.

And don't even get me started on ADHD diagnosis

Thanks - bullying expert.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At the risk of upsetting certain group, I will just say this:

The term 'bullying' is applying so loosely now that I think it waters down the true 'bullied' cases. Kids can be tough on each other but you can't categorize all as bullying. An example: year or so ago at DC's previous school, one kid said something in the class and rest of the class thought it was funny and laughed. Not in the mean way, which even the teacher and school administrators agreed. But nonetheless the kid got upset (because he wasn't trying to be funny), told his parents, whom then went to the administrator. Teacher got called in, had an intervention, HOS came to the classroom and talked to the kids, then a whole school 'sensitivity training'! Incidence like this masked those that are truly being bullied.

And don't even get me started on ADHD diagnosis

Thank you for your post. I understand what you mean that not every single thing is bullying. However people have given examples and I think in my book in the way I'm teaching my children what is kind and what is not - the example of a boy telling a kid in front of all his friends and peers that he's not invited to walk over to someone's house IS social bullying. I guess we all have our standards of how we're trying to raise our children. For me, I'd rather err on the side of being kind.

[Anonymous]

Also I would add that a parent that has a Halloween party and invites EVERY single sta boy in the grade in the neighborhood except for one boy who then did not have anyone to go out with is also equally mean.