Why are older women so strange?

[Anonymous]

Most (not all) of the relative vents are about older women being manipulative, demanding and not respecting boundaries. I see the same thing in my extended family. My MIL and aunt behave the same way. Was this generation trained in these skills? It just seems like an exhausting way to live but also seems so common.

Why do they care how other people live their lives? Why do they obsess about getting their way?

[Anonymous]

Quite a blanket statement. I’m a woman nearing 60 and I don’t do any of that. Maybe it’s just the older women in your life.

[Anonymous]

You get the DIL’s perspective on dcum. It goes both ways.

[Anonymous]

My theory is that since society values women more for looks than brains, then these women got plenty of attention in their 20s, and saw it dwindle over time. Now they manufacture drama to get attention.

Meanwhile older men seem to do the opposite -- check out and avoid drama as much as possible.. Oblivious to it all.

Of course, these are sweeping generalizations..

[Anonymous]

Older women worry less about being "nice" so they are more direct and no BS than younger women. Kind of like men. But people hate women for it.

[Anonymous]

I am 35 yo and my MIL (who was nice) died years ago, but I have a lot of empathy for the MILs discussed in this forum. Many of the complaints seem to be coming from really intolerant DILs who don't want to deal with anyone who makes any demands on their time or patience. It really baffles me.

[Anonymous]

You get the DIL’s perspective on dcum. It goes both ways.

Umm.... no any of the examples posted can easily be categorized as over stepping boundaries, controlling, or manipulative. Does matter whether you are DIL or random observer. You could be a squirrel and see this.

I've yet to see any example of younger women being manipulative, over stepping the boundaries or being manipulative with their older relatives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You get the DIL’s perspective on dcum. It goes both ways.

Umm.... no any of the examples posted can easily be categorized as over stepping boundaries, controlling, or manipulative. Does matter whether you are DIL or random observer. You could be a squirrel and see this.

I've yet to see any example of younger women being manipulative, over stepping the boundaries or being manipulative with their older relatives.

Must be new here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Older women worry less about being "nice" so they are more direct and no BS than younger women. Kind of like men. But people hate women for it.

BS, the women just want to get their way and will beat any subject to death. I just roll my eyes or turn the TV louder. But I'm the grouchy old man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Older women worry less about being "nice" so they are more direct and no BS than younger women. Kind of like men. But people hate women for it.

BS, the women just want to get their way and will beat any subject to death. I just roll my eyes or turn the TV louder. But I'm the grouchy old man

Well you sound like a hoot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most (not all) of the relative vents are about older women being manipulative, demanding and not respecting boundaries. I see the same thing in my extended family. My MIL and aunt behave the same way. Was this generation trained in these skills? It just seems like an exhausting way to live but also seems so common.

Why do they care how other people live their lives? Why do they obsess about getting their way?

I do believe it might be the case. My MIL is all about appearances, she'll sweep obvious facts under the rug and pretend everything is 'wonderful'; maybe, it makes her feel better about herself, I don't know, but that constant denial and desire to live for the approval of others is bordering on ridiculous.

My SIL died of cancer last year in her early 40s. Tragic, right? The thing that bothered MIL the most - at least on the day of the funeral - is to make sure their neighbors in their retirement community 'don't find out'. For the life of me, I don't get why - maybe, she was thinking the tragedy was tarnishing her 'standing' or whatever. Long story short, somebody from 'the community' found an obituary in the paper and pinned it at the community event board.
MIL nearly had a stroke. "Who did that? How did they find out?"
Gee, lady, your only daughter is dead, and you care who found that out???

Yes, OP, older women ARE strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You get the DIL’s perspective on dcum. It goes both ways.

Umm.... no any of the examples posted can easily be categorized as over stepping boundaries, controlling, or manipulative. Does matter whether you are DIL or random observer. You could be a squirrel and see this.

I've yet to see any example of younger women being manipulative, over stepping the boundaries or being manipulative with their older relatives.

Must be new here.

The idea that younger women are not manipulative is silly. Of course they are. Not to mention, taking things that people post on here as indicative of some broader social truth is stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My theory is that since society values women more for looks than brains, then these women got plenty of attention in their 20s, and saw it dwindle over time. Now they manufacture drama to get attention.

Meanwhile older men seem to do the opposite -- check out and avoid drama as much as possible.. Oblivious to it all.

Of course, these are sweeping generalizations..

I think it’s this. Older women who are finished raising their children have very little power in our society, yet are just as narcissistic as the rest of us. If they had more power, they would probably just out and out say what they want. Since they have none, it’s all boundary pushing and little manipulations.

[Anonymous]

I think some of y’all just have strange women in your family is. I don’t know any women over 50 who act this way. I’m sorry it turned out this way for you.

[Anonymous]

Hence why I love older women.