I should just give him space right?

[Anonymous]

Got into a fight with my DH (totally my fault, I screwed up). I apologized right away, but he's been mad and not willing to communicate for days (no, I didn't cheat or anything like that).

I attempted to talk to him twice over a few days, then sent him a note saying I'm available to talk whenever he's ready. It's been more than a week. I shouldn't reach out to him anymore at this point, right? Go ahead and flame, I screwed up and admitted it right away.

[Anonymous]

Is he not speaking with you at all, or just not willing to discuss the screw up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he not speaking with you at all, or just not willing to discuss the screw up?

oh, not speaking to me at all.

[Anonymous]

Very immature of him.

[Anonymous]

Is your DH a toddler? If this is the way he responds to a mistake you've promptly and sincerely apologized for, he's a pathetic loser and you should really dump him and find someone who is able to handle an adult relationship. Seriously. You don't deserve this. And I say this as someone who almost always wants a cooling-off period after an argument so I don't say things I know are unfair and I'd later regret - but that's, like, 15 minutes. Not days. He's being completely unreasonable, OP.

[Anonymous]

If this isn't some relationship shattering issue like cheating than he's totally in the wrong and I think this has swung around to YOU having a right to be mad. I cannot IMAGINE my DH refusing to talk to me for a week. Let alone for something I immediately apologized for!

It is hard to give good advice without knowing what the offense is. But honestly I would approach him, tell him that it is disrespectful to give your spouse the silent treatment for a week and that you are leaving and if he would like to continue to stay married to you he should reach out, and soon, when he is ready to start treating you like a human being again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this isn't some relationship shattering issue like cheating than he's totally in the wrong and I think this has swung around to YOU having a right to be mad. I cannot IMAGINE my DH refusing to talk to me for a week. Let alone for something I immediately apologized for!

It is hard to give good advice without knowing what the offense is. But honestly I would approach him, tell him that it is disrespectful to give your spouse the silent treatment for a week and that you are leaving and if he would like to continue to stay married to you he should reach out, and soon, when he is ready to start treating you like a human being again.

I yelled at him. Lol. For something I had been bugging him about to do, but he didn't and I finally blew it.

[Anonymous]

I strongly feel his reaction is abusive, but then I'm also questioning the extent of your screw up. Are you one to typically just say you are sorry, or do you actually show you are sorry. Outline how you plan to make amends for issue you created. Outline how you will make sure it is something that will not happen again. Once you have that covered, you two need to work on communication skills, and partnering through the 'worse' parts in a marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this isn't some relationship shattering issue like cheating than he's totally in the wrong and I think this has swung around to YOU having a right to be mad. I cannot IMAGINE my DH refusing to talk to me for a week. Let alone for something I immediately apologized for!

It is hard to give good advice without knowing what the offense is. But honestly I would approach him, tell him that it is disrespectful to give your spouse the silent treatment for a week and that you are leaving and if he would like to continue to stay married to you he should reach out, and soon, when he is ready to start treating you like a human being again.

I yelled at him. Lol. For something I had been bugging him about to do, but he didn't and I finally blew it.

It sounds abusive but your weird Lol makes me think there's a very weird dynamic at play or you are really a 13 year old trying to troll.

[Anonymous]

Unless your screw up was outrageous -- and even then! -- this is completely not OK on his part. You apologized. He's acting like a baby. This IS borderline abusive.

Good news: You can opt out of it. Talk to him like normal. Except, make it easy for yourself. "Hey, Larlo, I'm going to the grocery store. Let me know if there is any thing you need" -crickets- "OK, then" and don't get him what he needs. "Hey Larlo, I'm making lightly fried tuna for dinner. Let me know if you want something else" -silence- You serve lightly fried tuna for dinner.

Seriously, he's an A$$ for acting like this. Carry on, be polite and present, and he can decide when he wants to grow up.

And consider therapy for yourself. Do you take this sort of abuse often?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless your screw up was outrageous -- and even then! -- this is completely not OK on his part. You apologized. He's acting like a baby. This IS borderline abusive.

Good news: You can opt out of it. Talk to him like normal. Except, make it easy for yourself. "Hey, Larlo, I'm going to the grocery store. Let me know if there is any thing you need" -crickets- "OK, then" and don't get him what he needs. "Hey Larlo, I'm making lightly fried tuna for dinner. Let me know if you want something else" -silence- You serve lightly fried tuna for dinner.

Seriously, he's an A$$ for acting like this. Carry on, be polite and present, and he can decide when he wants to grow up.

And consider therapy for yourself. Do you take this sort of abuse often?

Nope. My mistake. All you did was yell at him. This IS abusive. No borderline about it.

[Anonymous]

If by space you mean a quickie divorce in Reno, then yes, by all means, give him space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. My mistake. All you did was yell at him. This IS abusive. No borderline about it.

Yelling at him is abusive, too. The yeller and the sulker - what a fine relationship they have!

[Anonymous]

Actually yelling isn’t necessarily abusive. Assuming it’s more of the raised voice type of yelling and not name calling, put down, sneering kind of yelling. Giving someone the silent treatment is about control so yes it is an extreme form of emotiOnal abuse and is quite corrosive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this isn't some relationship shattering issue like cheating than he's totally in the wrong and I think this has swung around to YOU having a right to be mad. I cannot IMAGINE my DH refusing to talk to me for a week. Let alone for something I immediately apologized for!

It is hard to give good advice without knowing what the offense is. But honestly I would approach him, tell him that it is disrespectful to give your spouse the silent treatment for a week and that you are leaving and if he would like to continue to stay married to you he should reach out, and soon, when he is ready to start treating you like a human being again.

I yelled at him. Lol. For something I had been bugging him about to do, but he didn't and I finally blew it.

If your DH yelled at you DCUM would encourage you to call the police for spousal abuse and have him removed from the home with a restraining order. Because you are a woman DCUM thinks nothing of your abuse.