Did anyone have an adoption fall through at the hospital

[Anonymous]

Birthmom is 39 weeks today. As the birth approaches we are sick with anxiety and so nervous about the million things that could happen before surrender. I want to think positive but I have to be realistic. Anyone been in this situation? And advice? We already have so much respect and love for the birth parents and plan on treading very lightly and just following their lead to make the experience look like however they desire.

[Anonymous]

It happens. And there is nothing you can do about it. No advice really, other than it's very hard, when it happens. Keep thinking positive and good luck!

[Anonymous]

My SIL did. She was the birth mom though. Heartbreaking for the adoptive family.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the responses. We had a baby born still years and walking out those labor and delivery doors without a baby is truly my worst fear. I know the chances of it happening are likely so I am trying to physically and mentally prepare myself. We have had matches that have fallen through before but both at much earlier stages. Everything points to "its a go" but I know how suddenly things change during these situations. Ive been getting migraines like crazy and DH has lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks. We just really want it to "be over" so we just know. Thanks for letting me vent anonymously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the responses. We had a baby born still years and walking out those labor and delivery doors without a baby is truly my worst fear. I know the chances of it happening are likely so I am trying to physically and mentally prepare myself. We have had matches that have fallen through before but both at much earlier stages. Everything points to "its a go" but I know how suddenly things change during these situations. Ive been getting migraines like crazy and DH has lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks. We just really want it to "be over" so we just know. Thanks for letting me vent anonymously.

OP. I wish I could give you a huge hug. Good luck, I hope you have your baby very soon

[Anonymous]

This is why I can't stand it when people ask people struggling with infertility "Why don't you just adopt?"

It's not easy, it's not cheap, and it's as heartbreaking, if not more so, than dealing with infertility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I can't stand it when people ask people struggling with infertility "Why don't you just adopt?"

It's not easy, it's not cheap, and it's as heartbreaking, if not more so, than dealing with infertility.

OP here. Yes our adoption journey has cost more money and been harder emotionally I think too. Our infertility and stillborn journey was MY BODY, OUR DECISIONS, me and DH controlling each move. Adoption is just the opposite. Its someone else body, someone else calls all the shots, and you pay for 2 families not 1. I am in awe of all parties in adoption and am not bitter about the time, money, or any of that but its a very ignorant statement. The worst was "there are so many babies who need good homes." Its like yes, yes I know but they are extremely hard to access. I can't just sign up and pay and get one. Which is what I feel some people think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the responses. We had a baby born still years and walking out those labor and delivery doors without a baby is truly my worst fear. I know the chances of it happening are likely so I am trying to physically and mentally prepare myself. We have had matches that have fallen through before but both at much earlier stages. Everything points to "its a go" but I know how suddenly things change during these situations. Ive been getting migraines like crazy and DH has lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks. We just really want it to "be over" so we just know. Thanks for letting me vent anonymously.

OP. I wish I could give you a huge hug. Good luck, I hope you have your baby very soon

Me too!!! HUUUGGGG.

[Anonymous]

^totally agree

Let me say, my father was raised in an orphanage in a bad part of town. If someone loving as you wanted him, I have no doubt his life, and even my own would be so much better. I hope your dream comes true, you are going to make an amazing mother

[Anonymous]

Hugs! Will you post back here after the birth and let us know? Thinking of you.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am sending you all the best wishes and luck that things work out and you have your baby home soon. I am pulling for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^totally agree

Let me say, my father was raised in an orphanage in a bad part of town. If someone loving as you wanted him, I have no doubt his life, and even my own would be so much better. I hope your dream comes true, you are going to make an amazing mother

+1

I am a lawyer, and handled an adoption in Texas many years ago. The adoptive parents were on pins and needles, but all went as planned, and the birth mom handed the baby to the adoptive parents the day of the birth, at which time she became theirs forever.

I am still in touch with the adoptive mom, whose daughter is now 24 years old and aunching a successful career. They are an amazing family and I know their daughter grew up in the family she was meant to have.

OP, I hope your dream comes true.

[Anonymous]

Wishing you the best, OP. We adopted and brought home both our kids from the hospital (at separate times), I hope the best for you, for the birth parents, and especially for the baby.

[Anonymous]

This sounds so hard OP. I just wanted to say that I hope you have a great support network going forward no matter the outcome. Your DH losing that much weight in that short of a time is important to note, and your migraines leading up to this, I just hope you have a counselor or someone to talk to about whats going on and who can help you process it all after the fact. Again, I think this is important regardless of what happens - this amount of stress and anxiety doesn't just go away on its own.

[Anonymous]

OP, it happens all the time. I wish you the best. Until revocation period is over, they can take the chid back at any time and its very stressful. Hang in there. It took us many years to adopt. I was so upset those years seeing other people adopting so easily...till I held my child and realized that they were the reason I was waiting. He is perfect for us in every way and worth the wait, sadness, heartbreak and cost.