This is weird, right? (Inlaws seeking reimbursement)

[Anonymous]

My inlaws sold a business when they retired and are worth over $10M. They live conservatively and will die with it mostly in tact. DH and I (and his 2 other siblings) all have healthy incomes - no one is doing without.

So last night they came over for dinner. The asparagus didn’t look good at our store so we asked if he would bring some (we only asked because he said he was shopping on the way anyway.) He walks in with the asparagus and hands DH the recipe and expects to be paid for the asparagus. DH did of course. But this is weird, right? If a friend or family member asked me something like this I would never let them pay no matter how much they insisted!!

[Anonymous]

Very weird

[Anonymous]

Lol. That sounds like something my mom would do.

Yes, in context it is weird. But maybe your fil grew up in a poor household. I think some people who grew up with a family fixated on ‘making ends meet’ never grow out of that habit.

[Anonymous]

Totally weird. Even when I was poor I would never have expected someone to reimburse me in a situation like this. But I have come to the conclusion that money just makes you more of what you were - generous people get more generous once they have some $ and cheap people get even more cheap.

[Anonymous]

Weird but FIL is probably not usually involved in things like this (shopping, cooking, hosting) and didn’t really think about it.

[Anonymous]

Weird but I can totally seeing my dad do the same thing. My dad would have been joking (probably? maybe?) and my husband would have made a HUGE DRAMATIC scene out of paying back my dad, probably during dinner when he toasted my parents or something, and later we would all laugh long and hard about it. Anyway, let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weird but FIL is probably not usually involved in things like this (shopping, cooking, hosting) and didn’t really think about it.

Doesn’t matter. It isn’t the asparagus. It is weird to want your son to reimburse you for a $7 item when you have $$$$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weird but FIL is probably not usually involved in things like this (shopping, cooking, hosting) and didn’t really think about it.

Doesn’t matter. It isn’t the asparagus. It is weird to want your son to reimburse you for a $7 item when you have $$$$.

Did he demand the money or just hand over the receipt. If the latter, I doubt he cared about the money. He just didn’t know what the etiquette was.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks. They are not bad people and I didn’t say anything. Just wanted a gut check. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

My ILs would do this and my parents on the opposite end would never take from us but if we picked up something for them would ply many x the amount back to us.

Money & family funny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weird but FIL is probably not usually involved in things like this (shopping, cooking, hosting) and didn’t really think about it.

Doesn’t matter. It isn’t the asparagus. It is weird to want your son to reimburse you for a $7 item when you have $$$$.

Did he demand the money or just hand over the receipt. If the latter, I doubt he cared about the money. He just didn’t know what the etiquette was.

I wouldn’t say “demand” but it was obvious he expected reimbursement. This isn’t the first time. And he didn’t refuse when DH gave the money or say “it’s not necessary” or any of the things I would have said.

[Anonymous]

The bigger question is how many spears did everyone get?

[Anonymous]

You could have paid him back in pennies, a giant jar full

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The bigger question is how many spears did everyone get?

THIS IS SPEARTA!!!!

[Anonymous]

They likely think that their frugality is one reason for their success. They also likely worry about leaving big chunks of money to their children. They will feel better about passing on their money if they believe you all are similarly frugal with what they earned. Indulge their frugality; it’s in your interest.