This is weird, right? (Inlaws seeking reimbursement)

[Anonymous]

Your DH is a pussy. I would never have paid.

[Anonymous]

Do they also do things like barely turn the heat on, don’t let any water run down the sink drain without using it several times, never updating furniture in the last 40 years? Then you’re getting closer to some of my family. Very thrifty. It’s all very good for the environment - though the old furnishings literally smell.

[Anonymous]

I have not heard of anyone doing anything like this. I find it extremely unusual, and I find the one or two people defending it equally bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DH is a pussy. I would never have paid.

That’s no way to treat your parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have not heard of anyone doing anything like this. I find it extremely unusual, and I find the one or two people defending it equally bizarre.

We’ve been exposed to crazy relatives since birth, basically. It’s normal for us. And frankly it’s fine - no one should dictate how other people live their lives.

[Anonymous]

Cheapos. Like a pp mentioned, if it was say, $25+ I get it, but something so small in price would be embarrassing for me to ever give a receipt for. And we grew up poor.

[Anonymous]

My FIL is like this. He brings the kids pizza and gives us the receipt. He is very well off. I just don't get it.

[Anonymous]

So different from the typical dcum grandparent that pays for the down payment on their child’s home, their vacations and the grandkids private school tuition. My parents are not like either of these kinds of people btw!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My inlaws sold a business when they retired and are worth over $10M. They live conservatively and will die with it mostly in tact. DH and I (and his 2 other siblings) all have healthy incomes - no one is doing without.

So last night they came over for dinner. The asparagus didn’t look good at our store so we asked if he would bring some (we only asked because he said he was shopping on the way anyway.) He walks in with the asparagus and hands DH the recipe and expects to be paid for the asparagus. DH did of course. But this is weird, right? If a friend or family member asked me something like this I would never let them pay no matter how much they insisted!!

Pita to go to the store special for someone else. Why not charge them!

If this hasn’t happened a few times, NBD. It’s fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Older people who are retired live in fear of "running out of money" in retirement. Even when they have a $10m net worth. It's completely irrational, but that's what fear does to the brain.

Make them feel safe and happy around you.

+1. Move on OP. Your DH didn’t object to this. Lots of people would dream to have in-laws whose worst behavior is asking for reimbursement for asparagus. And sounds like one day your family will inherit a lot of money.

[Anonymous]

Yup, it's weird. My grandmother was like that but she raised a child during the depression. I doubt your in-laws are that old.

[Anonymous]

You should have given them a bill for dinner after that.

Just kidding.

Kind of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP the fact that this bothered you so much that you had to post here makes you seem way more petty and materialistic than your FIL. He probably just did it without thinking.

I agree with this. BTW, I would expect to pay for something like that so it would not have seemed weird at all to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This is probably how he become wealthy, OP, by always being very careful with his money, regardless of the actual sum involved. Must be built into his character.

Can you forgive him this little foible? Everyone has their quirks. In the larger scheme of things, it's really not important. He certainly didn't mean to be rude.

This. It sounds like he has a strong sense of fairness, and would probably reimburse you $6 if you went to the store for him too. A lot of older people are like this. My mom tips EXACTLY 20% at restaurants. To the penny. I'm sure many servers have wondered why their tip is $17.97 instead of just $18. She would also try to reimburse me for small things I might pick up for her, although she wouldn't expect reimbursement from me. She grew up poor and is very careful with the wealth she has now.

As long as your FIL isn't otherwise stingy, I would just chalk it up to a generational/SES thing and let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Older people who are retired live in fear of "running out of money" in retirement. Even when they have a $10m net worth. It's completely irrational, but that's what fear does to the brain.

Make them feel safe and happy around you.

+1. Move on OP. Your DH didn’t object to this. Lots of people would dream to have in-laws whose worst behavior is asking for reimbursement for asparagus. And sounds like one day your family will inherit a lot of money.

But what is their stance on eggplant? Hmmmm.