The way DH dresses makes me uncomfortable

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is a serious gym rat and body builder and he likes to wear tight clothes that show off his muscles. This is cool with me, up to a point, and I am glad he is a hunk. He’s in his late 40s but has the body of a 25 year old who is in great shape. The problem is: he wears lycra and thin cotton pants and shorts that are so tight you can see not only his muscles but every centimeter of his junk. I mean, his pants leave nothing all to the imagination. Testicles, penis? You can see i everything outlined very, very clearly through the fabric.

I don’t care what he wears when he’s alone or we’re alone together in the house, but this makes me uncomfortable when others are around, mainly because I feel like it makes everyone around him uncomfortable.

I tried to tell DH this (in the context of a visit from my parents... who were very carefully and obviously trying not to stare at his crotch). When we were alone briefly I whispered, “sweetie, your pants are kind of see-through!” He was like, “what are you talking about?” I said, “you might want to change, you can see everything.” Honestly, I told him because I thought he maybe just does not realize how revealing his pants and shorts are. (I mean: if my pants were see-through I would sure want him to tell me, and I would be mortified and would find different pants.) But he got very angry, basically told me I was a prude and this is my problem, not his, and if I love him I should be comfortable with whatever he chooses to wear, etc., then he stomped off and didn’t speak to me for the rest of the evening.

What do you all think? Am I just being a prude? Obviously, he’s a grown man, he’s going to decide for himself what to wear— but is it unreasonable for me to tell him that his tight pants sometimes make me uncomfortable?

[Anonymous]

Is it your boyfriend or husband??

In any case, tell him it's not masculine to wear lycra. Hopefully that should put an end to at least part of your problem.

[Anonymous]

Is he your boyfriend or husband?

[Anonymous]

Is he your boyfriend or your DH? Try harder, troll.

[Anonymous]

Ha. (This is OP). Freudian slip. We got married almost a year ago but maybe because I am not feeling very happy with him right now, I downgraded him to boyfriend status.

I will add: his tendency to wear his short shorts and tight spandex all the time started only in the last few months. Maybe he was on good behavior until after the wedding. For better or for worse he is now more comfortable around me.

[Anonymous]

Hey Larlo, my mom can't help staring at your junk.

Can you put on some jeans?

[Anonymous]

This is absurd on his part.

-a dh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he your boyfriend or your DH? Try harder, troll.

Why do people call others trolls just because they don’t happen to like something they said or are confused? According to Wikipedia, a troll is someone who starts quarrels or tries to sow discord with the intent to cause emotional responses.

Someone who uses the term boyfriend or husband but posts a serious question either just made a slip or maybe is trying to preserve privacy by changing some unimportant details. That is not “trolling.”

[Anonymous]

EEWWWW! So inappropriate. I would not want to be around your DH. My DH only wears the tight stuff when he cycles long distances.

[Anonymous]

Weird. Is he gay? If he’s gay you have serious problems, honey.

If he’s not he is either clueless or selfish. He needs to understand that absolutely no one outside of a gay bar wants to be able to see his junk through his pants. Especially not your parents. It is not normal or appropriate for a man his age to wear skin tight pants. He needs to act like an adult and a normal member of society. In other societies people run around wearing loin cloths, but in our society, no, men should not wear pants that highlight their genitals. Especially not middle aged men, no matter how fit they are.

[Anonymous]

Have you tried taking a picture or video of him, to show just how much he is showing?

Any of his guy friends who could help out? Have a guy friend over that would blurt out something about his junk being on display.

[Anonymous]

Gay.

[Anonymous]

This is very odd. I’ve never known anyone to do this IRL. I suspect troll because it’s so far-fetched (maybe you are a teenager and think this is hilarious) but if this is your reality OP - I can’t imagine asking my DH to change his clothing because my parents can see his junk. I certainly wouldn’t be seen with him in public with “every single centimeter” showing. Even my DH’s underwear doesn’t show his testicles..

[Anonymous]

^^^ meant - can’t imagine *having to ask* my DH to change his outfit because my parents can see his junk.
That would be a sign that we are seriously mismatched.

[Anonymous]

Another vote for gay.