Are you supposed to punish your freshman over December break if they did poorly?

[Anonymous]

Or put in some sort of benchmarks for second semester? Oldest child is anticipating a ~ 2.0 first semester GPA. We've never been through this.

[Anonymous]

No set rules. Whatever works for your family.

[Anonymous]

I did poorly my first semester. My parents gave me one more chance to do better the following semester - if I didn't, then I'd have to move back home. I didn't want to do that so I did a lot better the that semester.

[Anonymous]

Are you asking if you should punish an adult? Really?

[Anonymous]

IMO: Punish? No, that ship has sailed. Your baby is all grown up and is now facing real world consequences. You absolutely can have a discussion about that and offer to help your child strategize and plan for the coming struggle.

Now is the time for advice, not punishment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you asking if you should punish an adult? Really?

The definition of a true "adult" is not someone who lives off of Daddy's dole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IMO: Punish? No, that ship has sailed. Your baby is all grown up and is now facing real world consequences. You absolutely can have a discussion about that and offer to help your child strategize and plan for the coming struggle.

Now is the time for advice, not punishment.

+1

Natural consequences happen. That is not punishment. But you don't have to add more to the mix negatively -- and you shouldn't bear the weight of the burden for them, although you can offer advice, so long as it is up to them whether to take it.

One natural consequence might be that you don't continue paying tuition, unless XYZ. That's not punishment.

[Anonymous]

If you want them to improve, then encouragement is the better approach. Punishment will get them to hate school and learning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO: Punish? No, that ship has sailed. Your baby is all grown up and is now facing real world consequences. You absolutely can have a discussion about that and offer to help your child strategize and plan for the coming struggle.

Now is the time for advice, not punishment.

+1

Natural consequences happen. That is not punishment. But you don't have to add more to the mix negatively -- and you shouldn't bear the weight of the burden for them, although you can offer advice, so long as it is up to them whether to take it.

One natural consequence might be that you don't continue paying tuition, unless XYZ. That's not punishment.

But there really aren't any consequences for rich full-pay families or full financial aid kids. As long as the tuition & board gravy train is paid for, anyone can plow through a bachelors with crummy marks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO: Punish? No, that ship has sailed. Your baby is all grown up and is now facing real world consequences. You absolutely can have a discussion about that and offer to help your child strategize and plan for the coming struggle.

Now is the time for advice, not punishment.

+1

Natural consequences happen. That is not punishment. But you don't have to add more to the mix negatively -- and you shouldn't bear the weight of the burden for them, although you can offer advice, so long as it is up to them whether to take it.

One natural consequence might be that you don't continue paying tuition, unless XYZ. That's not punishment.

But there really aren't any consequences for rich full-pay families or full financial aid kids. As long as the tuition & board gravy train is paid for, anyone can plow through a bachelors with crummy marks.

Of course there are consequences. Where does a barely passing degree get most people? Whether or not you care about your grades in college depends on what your goals are after college. For people destined for entry level, low mobility jobs, it doesn't matter much; get the degree and prove yourself in the workforce. For people hoping for school beyond undergrad or the best mobility entry level jobs, it matters quite a lot. OP should ask the student what they hope to do after college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO: Punish? No, that ship has sailed. Your baby is all grown up and is now facing real world consequences. You absolutely can have a discussion about that and offer to help your child strategize and plan for the coming struggle.

Now is the time for advice, not punishment.

+1

Natural consequences happen. That is not punishment. But you don't have to add more to the mix negatively -- and you shouldn't bear the weight of the burden for them, although you can offer advice, so long as it is up to them whether to take it.

One natural consequence might be that you don't continue paying tuition, unless XYZ. That's not punishment.

But there really aren't any consequences for rich full-pay families or full financial aid kids. As long as the tuition & board gravy train is paid for, anyone can plow through a bachelors with crummy marks.

Merit-based financial aid is often based on maintaining a certain GPA and number of hours.

Non-merit based financial aid often needs to be paid back, and you'd better have the grades to get the job or graduate school entrance to get you tot he point where you can pay it off.

As for full pay families, as above: "One natural consequence might be that you don't continue paying tuition, unless XYZ."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO: Punish? No, that ship has sailed. Your baby is all grown up and is now facing real world consequences. You absolutely can have a discussion about that and offer to help your child strategize and plan for the coming struggle.

Now is the time for advice, not punishment.

+1

Natural consequences happen. That is not punishment. But you don't have to add more to the mix negatively -- and you shouldn't bear the weight of the burden for them, although you can offer advice, so long as it is up to them whether to take it.

One natural consequence might be that you don't continue paying tuition, unless XYZ. That's not punishment.

But there really aren't any consequences for rich full-pay families or full financial aid kids. As long as the tuition & board gravy train is paid for, anyone can plow through a bachelors with crummy marks.

Merit-based financial aid is often based on maintaining a certain GPA and number of hours.

Non-merit based financial aid often needs to be paid back, and you'd better have the grades to get the job or graduate school entrance to get you tot he point where you can pay it off.

As for full pay families, as above: "One natural consequence might be that you don't continue paying tuition, unless XYZ."

Many financial aid kids get full boat packages or packages with only very modest loans. You think kids care about $3k-5k in loans per year? They're having a blast, the time of their life, a small $5k loan annually is the least of their concerns.

[Anonymous]

The GPA to keep financial aid is the same as academic probation. It's like keeping sports eligibility in high school, pretty much a joke.

Anyone can plow through a bachelors with a 2.0 gpa if everything is free.

I think the only kids that really feel pressure are donut hole families where parents are putting up significant money relative to HHI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you asking if you should punish an adult? Really?

The definition of a true "adult" is not someone who lives off of Daddy's dole.

What about adu;ts whose spouses support them? There are many people who live off the earnings of others. That doesn't make them not an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Of course there are consequences. Where does a barely passing degree get most people? Whether or not you care about your grades in college depends on what your goals are after college. For people destined for entry level, low mobility jobs, it doesn't matter much; get the degree and prove yourself in the workforce. For people hoping for school beyond undergrad or the best mobility entry level jobs, it matters quite a lot. OP should ask the student what they hope to do after college.

In my experience, college kids don't REALLY grasp this until junior year when they don't get call backs after career fair and resume drops. Freshman can't really process this and also tend to be delusional about their ability to pump gpa up later and ability to bullsh*t their way into job offers.