Are you supposed to punish your freshman over December break if they did poorly?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

Now is the time for getting help (tutors, therapy, change of course etc).



Ladies!!! You have to stop making your kids your life’s project. You have to let go.
They have all of those things for him on campus. They have advising, they have therapy and they have tutoring. They even have healthcare right on campus. You have to let your kids start directing their own lives. College is a transition but really it’s not that difficult because everything is right there on campus for them.
You are handicapping them by being too involved.


Wrong! You are handicapping them by not helping. To get quality help, in time, is not something that they learn at college. The services that are available at college is low quality and that includes the tutoring services. My kid was struggling in a subject even with what the college was able to offer. Getting a private tutor made a big difference to her grade and confidence. Yes, college is the time for the kids to fly solo, but many students crash and burn without support. There is no shame in getting the help and there is no shame in getting the quality help from outside what is available in college.

I have seen too many students drop out of engineering and pre-med, because they did not get the correct help that they needed. Bright students may need the best professional tutors to master concepts. Stressed students may need quality mental health services that is not what they will get at the college.

Adult life continue to throw us curve balls all the time. Students who learn how to get the best help (at this point, with help from their parents) will learn how to always get them the right support in all life situations. No one is being helped if your student drops out and is depressed because their grades continue to plummet. Because then they will remain in your basement for the rest of their lives. Do not abdicate your parental duties just because they are above 18. Make sure that they get the support that they need until they have successfully launched. Brushing your hands off when they get their first failure is not going to make them stronger. It just consign them to perpetual failure.
Anonymous
My DC did awful and DC doesn't know we know yet. I'm f***ing fuming. DC is walking around the house like hot s*** right now.
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