Weird thing with teacher- how to handle?

[Anonymous]

Our 11th grade DD is a solid student (generally a mix of As and Bs) who has never had any issues with teachers or disciplinary problems. She is a good, responsible, courteous student. All of a sudden, she is having huge problems with one teacher. This teacher seems determined to find fault, grades her down on assignments, doesn’t answer emails or return calls, won’t provide explanations of grades, and yells at DD when she tries as ask why she received low grades. It’s completely weird: this same teacher gave DD a B+ last year but is currently giving DD a C. DD is completely baffled and distraught. She is worried that since this is junior year, a low grade now will hurt her college chances.

Any suggestions? This is has never happened before, and this is the lowest grade DD has EVER received in any class in any year. (She is doing fine in all her other classes and gets nothing but positive comments from teachers, who — with this one teacher as the exception— praise her work ethic, her preparation, her effort, etc.) She is at a small private school and this teacher is the only teacher in this particular subject so changing to a different class is not an option. Should I shrug and tell DD she needs to figure this out on her own? Or should start getting involved and ask to meet with the teacher and/or school administrators?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our 11th grade DD is a solid student (generally a mix of As and Bs) who has never had any issues with teachers or disciplinary problems. She is a good, responsible, courteous student. All of a sudden, she is having huge problems with one teacher. This teacher seems determined to find fault, grades her down on assignments, doesn’t answer emails or return calls, won’t provide explanations of grades, and yells at DD when she tries as ask why she received low grades. It’s completely weird: this same teacher gave DD a B+ last year but is currently giving DD a C. DD is completely baffled and distraught. She is worried that since this is junior year, a low grade now will hurt her college chances.

Any suggestions? This is has never happened before, and this is the lowest grade DD has EVER received in any class in any year. (She is doing fine in all her other classes and gets nothing but positive comments from teachers, who — with this one teacher as the exception— praise her work ethic, her preparation, her effort, etc.) She is at a small private school and this teacher is the only teacher in this particular subject so changing to a different class is not an option. Should I shrug and tell DD she needs to figure this out on her own? Or should start getting involved and ask to meet with the teacher and/or school administrators?

If she's not returning your calls or emails then I would contact administration.

[Anonymous]

At a private school? I would escalate and I don't escalate. If your daughter has tried to make an appointment to receive guidance from the teacher on how to improve her performance and isn't being given straightforward feedback, make an appointment yourself to see the teacher. At our private, we have scheduled conferences 2 times per year. My daughter is struggling mightily with one teacher. She has been miserable in one class this year. Miserable. Grades lower than normal and she feels like the teacher does not like her. She is engaging with the teacher to get feedback on why her grades are not what she wants them to be. We talked to the teacher during conferences and determined that our daughter is the one with the problem. So we came home and told our daughter to shape up. This teacher is new to the school and has different standards for in class work than the previous teacher for the subject. The standards are 100% appropriate and only beneficial to the students so our daughter needs to meet them and stop complaining. The teacher isn't as warm and as encouraging or supportive as I might like, but that is the way of the world.

Before we met with the teacher, I would have said the teacher was the problem having heard only my daughter's complaints.

[Anonymous]

Schedule a meeting with the teacher but your language is putting all of the blame on the teacher. You say the teacher gave her a grade last year and is giving her a lower grade this year. No, she earned those grades. It’s a different class and maybe it is more difficult. Maybe she is struggling and you can have a meeting to find out why. You are assuming the teacher is out to get her because she always earns high grades in everything else. That is not a good reason. How often ha e you contacted the teacher? Did he/she used to respond? Your daughter is a junior and should be finding out herself how she can improve without her parents calling. She will be in college in less than two years.

[Anonymous]

^ I reread and say that your daughter has tried to speak with the teacher without success. What has she said? Has she asked what she could do to improve or only complained about the lower grades? This makes a big difference.

[Anonymous]

I would talk to someone in charge- academic dean or whatever. Explain the situation and be nice about it. Ask what your dd can do to improve the grade. For example, an extra little project.

Before a teacher hands out a C, they should discuss with their student ways to get back on track.

Tell your dd, it will all be okay!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would talk to someone in charge- academic dean or whatever. Explain the situation and be nice about it. Ask what your dd can do to improve the grade. For example, an extra little project.

Before a teacher hands out a C, they should discuss with their student ways to get back on track.

Tell your dd, it will all be okay!!

As a HS teacher this is the worst possible advice.

OP, you can try contacting the teacher yourself. But also, you say "she's given" your DD a C. No. That's what your DD has earned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would talk to someone in charge- academic dean or whatever. Explain the situation and be nice about it. Ask what your dd can do to improve the grade. For example, an extra little project.

Before a teacher hands out a C, they should discuss with their student ways to get back on track.

Tell your dd, it will all be okay!!

I hate when parents/students ask to do an extra project. That's just extra work for me to develop and grade. It's early in the year, just do better on the work that is assigned moving forward. Are there any missing assignments that are bringing the grade down?

And, to the OP-it is never fair to compare one child's grade to another. They are different kids and just because one gets a B doesn't mean the other will or should.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would talk to someone in charge- academic dean or whatever. Explain the situation and be nice about it. Ask what your dd can do to improve the grade. For example, an extra little project.

Before a teacher hands out a C, they should discuss with their student ways to get back on track.

Tell your dd, it will all be okay!!

I hate when parents/students ask to do an extra project. That's just extra work for me to develop and grade. It's early in the year, just do better on the work that is assigned moving forward. Are there any missing assignments that are bringing the grade down?

And, to the OP-it is never fair to compare one child's grade to another. They are different kids and just because one gets a B doesn't mean the other will or should.

My school doesn't allow extra credit at all and I LOVE it. Takes all the onus off me when I tell kids no. Extra credit is a freaking scam.

[Anonymous]

DD needs to do really well on the tests where grading is not subjective and not miss any assignments. It’s not a fun nor fair lesson.

[Anonymous]

This happened to us also. That is DD and us as parents. One teacher was very liberal and constantly standing my DD up in class to explain her “conservative values” with a lot of ridicule mocking ugliness downgraded her work etc etc. (it’s a rather conservative school). We spoke to the administrator about this. Grade changed. But that teacher was inappropriate and she left/ was asked to leave.

[Anonymous]

Focus on the communication struggle more than the grades themselves. I would have your daughter pursue with her counselor first but step in if she is not successful.

[Anonymous]

You should do things in increasing amounts. Since she won’t answer your child, First you should email the teacher and say you want to meet in person. If that doesn’t work, then you contact the right administrator.

It sounds to me like she is bullying your child, but it’s also possible that your child sees things as worse then they are (like the yelling was actually speaking strictly).

[Anonymous]

As a teacher, I would advise you to ask fir a meeting with your child, the teacher, and an administrator. Your daughter needs you to model how to get the involved parties together and rationally discuss an issue as a group. It will be clear pretty quickly what is going on and can be a learning experience so that when she goes to college she knows how to bring a written list of concerns to a meeting with examples and work collaboratively to solve problems. Your first message to your kid is that you have her back. If she’s the issue, you’ll find out and guide her to fixing things. If the teacher is the issue, you’ll find out, and admin will help. If there is a little of both or miscommunication, then you’ll find that out. You want your girl to feel heard, to learn how to work within a system, and how to manage conflict, regardless of the reason. I would insist on an admin being present.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a teacher, I would advise you to ask fir a meeting with your child, the teacher, and an administrator. Your daughter needs you to model how to get the involved parties together and rationally discuss an issue as a group. It will be clear pretty quickly what is going on and can be a learning experience so that when she goes to college she knows how to bring a written list of concerns to a meeting with examples and work collaboratively to solve problems. Your first message to your kid is that you have her back. If she’s the issue, you’ll find out and guide her to fixing things. If the teacher is the issue, you’ll find out, and admin will help. If there is a little of both or miscommunication, then you’ll find that out. You want your girl to feel heard, to learn how to work within a system, and how to manage conflict, regardless of the reason. I would insist on an admin being present.

+1
PP, this is really solid. Thanks.