Weird thing with teacher- how to handle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would talk to someone in charge- academic dean or whatever. Explain the situation and be nice about it. Ask what your dd can do to improve the grade. For example, an extra little project.

Before a teacher hands out a C, they should discuss with their student ways to get back on track.

Tell your dd, it will all be okay!!

As a HS teacher this is the worst possible advice.

OP, you can try contacting the teacher yourself. But also, you say "she's given" your DD a C. No. That's what your DD has earned.

You may be correct that the child earned. C, but if the teacher is not behaving professionally, then the teacher helped her "earn" that. Most of the time, teachers are professional, but not always. And in those cases, kids can't solve the problem on their own.

My daughter was struggling with a teacher who picked on her. The administration stepped in to get the teacher to back off -- and I hadn't even asked. I had brought forward an example to guidance of a situation I didn't know how to handle, but it was the administration, not me, who decided my child was the innocent one.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I think I will reach out to DD’s advisor and see what she thinks.

It is true that I can’t independently evaluate the quality of DD’s work in this class, but this particular teacher is notorious for “taking against” kids and then finding fault with everything they do, for yelling, and for her poor communication (she ignores my emails as well as DD’s).

So... no, I don’t know for a fact that DD’s work isn’t just weaker this year than last, but I do know that this teacher has a reputation for being a nightmare (erratic, hot-tempered, etc.). DD is my third kid at this school and I’ve been hearing about this teacher from All the kids and their friends for years, and have had weird encounters with her myself. Last year my DD was one of her favorites,” but “would come home distressed about this teacher screaming at other kids she had taken against. This year the teacher seems to have turned against her. She wants to do better and is a hard worker but feels like this she can’t do anything right with this teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think I will reach out to DD’s advisor and see what she thinks.

It is true that I can’t independently evaluate the quality of DD’s work in this class, but this particular teacher is notorious for “taking against” kids and then finding fault with everything they do, for yelling, and for her poor communication (she ignores my emails as well as DD’s).

So... no, I don’t know for a fact that DD’s work isn’t just weaker this year than last, but I do know that this teacher has a reputation for being a nightmare (erratic, hot-tempered, etc.). DD is my third kid at this school and I’ve been hearing about this teacher from All the kids and their friends for years, and have had weird encounters with her myself. Last year my DD was one of her favorites,” but “would come home distressed about this teacher screaming at other kids she had taken against. This year the teacher seems to have turned against her. She wants to do better and is a hard worker but feels like this she can’t do anything right with this teacher.

The standard at the private and public schools my kids have gone to has been to hear back from teachers within 24 hours on weekdays. If you didn't hear back from the teacher you need to reply to the message you sent and copy and administrator and say you haven't heard back, and ask for a meeting with the teacher and the administrator.

[Anonymous]

Document everything and summarize it. \

Sent email on DATE, no response
DD ask for feedback about Y on DATE, response was "ABC"
etc

[Anonymous]

You don't mention the subject, but most tests are objective. Have you seen the results of her tests? Has your DD seen the actual tests so she can see where she fell short? Have homework assignments been handed in on time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our 11th grade DD is a solid student (generally a mix of As and Bs) who has never had any issues with teachers or disciplinary problems. She is a good, responsible, courteous student. All of a sudden, she is having huge problems with one teacher. This teacher seems determined to find fault, grades her down on assignments, doesn’t answer emails or return calls, won’t provide explanations of grades, and yells at DD when she tries as ask why she received low grades. It’s completely weird: this same teacher gave DD a B+ last year but is currently giving DD a C. DD is completely baffled and distraught. She is worried that since this is junior year, a low grade now will hurt her college chances.

Any suggestions? This is has never happened before, and this is the lowest grade DD has EVER received in any class in any year. (She is doing fine in all her other classes and gets nothing but positive comments from teachers, who — with this one teacher as the exception— praise her work ethic, her preparation, her effort, etc.) She is at a small private school and this teacher is the only teacher in this particular subject so changing to a different class is not an option. Should I shrug and tell DD she needs to figure this out on her own? Or should start getting involved and ask to meet with the teacher and/or school administrators?

Coach your child to approach the teacher and talk about what she can or should be doing better, and that she the student is concerned about her performance. Not just about the grade. The student should know about how well she is understanding the subject and the work she is putting in. In 18 mo the, she may go to college — and she will need this skill herself of owning her own relationships with the teachers without her mom stepping in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think I will reach out to DD’s advisor and see what she thinks.

It is true that I can’t independently evaluate the quality of DD’s work in this class, but this particular teacher is notorious for “taking against” kids and then finding fault with everything they do, for yelling, and for her poor communication (she ignores my emails as well as DD’s).

So... no, I don’t know for a fact that DD’s work isn’t just weaker this year than last, but I do know that this teacher has a reputation for being a nightmare (erratic, hot-tempered, etc.). DD is my third kid at this school and I’ve been hearing about this teacher from All the kids and their friends for years, and have had weird encounters with her myself. Last year my DD was one of her favorites,” but “would come home distressed about this teacher screaming at other kids she had taken against. This year the teacher seems to have turned against her. She wants to do better and is a hard worker but feels like this she can’t do anything right with this teacher.

I still don’t see how your student has asked for feedback from this teacher or her advisor. It is really important that your daughter take the lead on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would talk to someone in charge- academic dean or whatever. Explain the situation and be nice about it. Ask what your dd can do to improve the grade. For example, an extra little project.

Before a teacher hands out a C, they should discuss with their student ways to get back on track.

Tell your dd, it will all be okay!!

I hate when parents/students ask to do an extra project. That's just extra work for me to develop and grade. It's early in the year, just do better on the work that is assigned moving forward. Are there any missing assignments that are bringing the grade down?

And, to the OP-it is never fair to compare one child's grade to another. They are different kids and just because one gets a B doesn't mean the other will or should.

It is also not fair for the teacher to be unresponsive. This is what is being reported. Not the grade.

[Anonymous]

OP here. DD has repeatedly asked for feedback and been ignored or scolded. That's why I am asking for advice: DD is doing all the things she ought to be doing and getting nowhere. At my suggestion, she has recently been ccing her advisor on all emails to this teacher. Her advisor is aware that this teacher flies off the handle with kids and apparently the teacher has been counseled about it... I had hoped that the problem was resolved, but apparently not.

Unfortunately, there are many assignments where completely "objective" assessments are difficult. This is a language class and there are rarely multiple choice tests. More typically it's "write an essay about how you would spend a weekend with friends" or "Make a video presentation of a tour through your neighborhood" or whatever. Often there are group projects. That is to say, lots of room for subjectivity in assessments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. DD has repeatedly asked for feedback and been ignored or scolded. That's why I am asking for advice: DD is doing all the things she ought to be doing and getting nowhere. At my suggestion, she has recently been ccing her advisor on all emails to this teacher. Her advisor is aware that this teacher flies off the handle with kids and apparently the teacher has been counseled about it... I had hoped that the problem was resolved, but apparently not.

Unfortunately, there are many assignments where completely "objective" assessments are difficult. This is a language class and there are rarely multiple choice tests. More typically it's "write an essay about how you would spend a weekend with friends" or "Make a video presentation of a tour through your neighborhood" or whatever. Often there are group projects. That is to say, lots of room for subjectivity in assessments.

You and your daughter have done everything you are supposed to and the teacher is now not upholding her responsibilities. I’m an advocate for self-advocacy and natural consequences and even I feel like it’s time for you to escalate this one. Time is ticking and I’d argue to administration that your daughter has asked for feedback from the teacher to no avail and it would be irresponsible of you as parents to not help. You certainly don’t want to burn any bridges and have this teacher get even more upset with DD so I would swallow my gut anger and try to reason with Teacher that DD enjoys the subject matter and is trying to provide Teacher with quality work, but is not getting enough feedback to make that happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would talk to someone in charge- academic dean or whatever. Explain the situation and be nice about it. Ask what your dd can do to improve the grade. For example, an extra little project.

Before a teacher hands out a C, they should discuss with their student ways to get back on track.

Tell your dd, it will all be okay!!

I hate when parents/students ask to do an extra project. That's just extra work for me to develop and grade. It's early in the year, just do better on the work that is assigned moving forward. Are there any missing assignments that are bringing the grade down?

And, to the OP-it is never fair to compare one child's grade to another. They are different kids and just because one gets a B doesn't mean the other will or should.

When I had college students who were going to miss the final, I had them write their own final and complete it. It was graded on depth, coverage, writing mechanics, and design (i.e., the questions needed to make sense and have answers). I gave them a list of types of questions to develop, based on the actual exam.

Anyway, a version of this assignment works for any type of "extra work." Write up one generic assignment, and then have them do it. You still have to grade it, but it doesn't take long to see if they actually read/reviewed/learned what they needed to, or just turned in some random crap.

[Anonymous]

I'd escalate, and pretty immediately too.

Language class or no, the grade is not entirely subjective. There have to be standards for grading that are understood by the students. From what you've said, your daughter has made a pretty solid effort to identify what she needs to do in order to improve, and feedback has been non-existent.

That's just not acceptable, and coupled with the teacher's nasty attitude, it's definitely appropriate for you to step in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. DD has repeatedly asked for feedback and been ignored or scolded. That's why I am asking for advice: DD is doing all the things she ought to be doing and getting nowhere. At my suggestion, she has recently been ccing her advisor on all emails to this teacher. Her advisor is aware that this teacher flies off the handle with kids and apparently the teacher has been counseled about it... I had hoped that the problem was resolved, but apparently not.

Unfortunately, there are many assignments where completely "objective" assessments are difficult. This is a language class and there are rarely multiple choice tests. More typically it's "write an essay about how you would spend a weekend with friends" or "Make a video presentation of a tour through your neighborhood" or whatever. Often there are group projects. That is to say, lots of room for subjectivity in assessments.

You say this, but think of it from a teacher's perspective.

I cannot TELL you how many times a parent claimed that their child had "asked for feedback." Which in reality, was when the assignment was handed back, and 35 kids are asking questions about their grades, the student said "Why did I get a C?" while all other students are also talking and asking questions, and we are reviewing the questions, or whatever. That's not asking for feedback. That's complaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think I will reach out to DD’s advisor and see what she thinks.

It is true that I can’t independently evaluate the quality of DD’s work in this class, but this particular teacher is notorious for “taking against” kids and then finding fault with everything they do, for yelling, and for her poor communication (she ignores my emails as well as DD’s).

So... no, I don’t know for a fact that DD’s work isn’t just weaker this year than last, but I do know that this teacher has a reputation for being a nightmare (erratic, hot-tempered, etc.). DD is my third kid at this school and I’ve been hearing about this teacher from All the kids and their friends for years, and have had weird encounters with her myself. Last year my DD was one of her favorites,” but “would come home distressed about this teacher screaming at other kids she had taken against. This year the teacher seems to have turned against her. She wants to do better and is a hard worker but feels like this she can’t do anything right with this teacher.

Alas, I suspect that like my kid, yours doesn't function well in an environment like that. So, even if she is not one of the "chosen", her work may be suffering from the tension this environment brings to her. My son got his A (barely), but she managed to suck all the joy out of a tough subject we would have expected him to love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. DD has repeatedly asked for feedback and been ignored or scolded. That's why I am asking for advice: DD is doing all the things she ought to be doing and getting nowhere. At my suggestion, she has recently been ccing her advisor on all emails to this teacher. Her advisor is aware that this teacher flies off the handle with kids and apparently the teacher has been counseled about it... I had hoped that the problem was resolved, but apparently not.

Unfortunately, there are many assignments where completely "objective" assessments are difficult. This is a language class and there are rarely multiple choice tests. More typically it's "write an essay about how you would spend a weekend with friends" or "Make a video presentation of a tour through your neighborhood" or whatever. Often there are group projects. That is to say, lots of room for subjectivity in assessments.

You say this, but think of it from a teacher's perspective.

I cannot TELL you how many times a parent claimed that their child had "asked for feedback." Which in reality, was when the assignment was handed back, and 35 kids are asking questions about their grades, the student said "Why did I get a C?" while all other students are also talking and asking questions, and we are reviewing the questions, or whatever. That's not asking for feedback. That's complaining.

OP here. DD's class has six students in it. Six. I have a ton of sympathy for teachers who are juggling 35 kids, but... this teacher should have time to help a student who is struggling. And I have read all DD's emails to this teacher. They are appropriate and specific. She just does not respond. And I am definitely not a helicopter parent: over more than a decade with three kids, I have intervened maybe twice when I thought something was seriously, seriously off the rails. My default is "work it out, suck it up." In fact, If this was my younger child saying what DD is saying, I'd be thinking, "it is probably her own fault." But with his teacher, and this child, I am concerned.