Past crush is back in my life and old feelings have returned

[Anonymous]

We met briefly almost a decade ago when we in our twenties in AmeriCorps. I had a crush on her then , but nothing happened. Fast forward to now and we are working together. Not directly, but we see each other enough. She’s single and interested in me. The problem is I’m not single. I’m not married or engaged, but I’ve had a girlfriend for about 8 months. We’ve been exclusive for the last 6 months. We’ve met each other’s families. We’re sharing an apartment. For the last month I cannot get this other woman out of my head. All my old feelings for her are back.

[Anonymous]

8 months? Dump the girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

But nothing ever came of it. It’s been 10 years and you never contacted her and she didn’t contact you?
Don’t be stupid - she’s fling material and that’s it. If you think of dumping a GF for a gal who is batting her eyelashes at you you’re an idiot.
Unless you don’t really like your GF? Do you love her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But nothing ever came of it. It’s been 10 years and you never contacted her and she didn’t contact you?
Don’t be stupid - she’s fling material and that’s it. If you think of dumping a GF for a gal who is batting her eyelashes at you you’re an idiot.
Unless you don’t really like your GF? Do you love her?

Somebody’s triggered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:8 months? Dump the girlfriend.

This. She’s a girlfriend and this is what dating is about. You don’t seem that into her. You are in your 30s and thinking of settling down and I’m sure your girlfriend is a sweetheart but i she may not be right for you long term. Woman from the past may not be either but I think you need to figure your feelings out. You

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But nothing ever came of it. It’s been 10 years and you never contacted her and she didn’t contact you?
Don’t be stupid - she’s fling material and that’s it. If you think of dumping a GF for a gal who is batting her eyelashes at you you’re an idiot.
Unless you don’t really like your GF? Do you love her?

I do love her. I do. In interest of full disclosure we’ve been working for the same company about a year, but I didn’t make that much of it because nothing happened before. Out interactions have become more frequent since October. I’ve started thinking of her when I’m with my girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But nothing ever came of it. It’s been 10 years and you never contacted her and she didn’t contact you?
Don’t be stupid - she’s fling material and that’s it. If you think of dumping a GF for a gal who is batting her eyelashes at you you’re an idiot.
Unless you don’t really like your GF? Do you love her?

I do love her. I do. In interest of full disclosure we’ve been working for the same company about a year, but I didn’t make that much of it because nothing happened before. Out interactions have become more frequent since October. I’ve started thinking of her when I’m with my girlfriend.

Do you even know anything about this gal? Do you know if you are compatible at all or if you share any life goals?
If you actually love your GF I wouldn’t blow that for a crush. Crushes come and go all throughout life.

[Anonymous]

How do you know that your crush is interested in you?

[Anonymous]

How quickly did you move in with your GF??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:8 months? Dump the girlfriend.

This!

[Anonymous]

You owe it to yourself and your girlfriend to break up and try with the new girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How quickly did you move in with your GF??

Great question!
OP, apparently you are somewhat to very spontaneous.
Try growing up a little and do the right thing. If that means breaking up with current GF (and losing your partner in rent) then do it.
But dothat first before you go pursuing this past flame (flicker?).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:8 months? Dump the girlfriend.

This. She’s a girlfriend and this is what dating is about. You don’t seem that into her. You are in your 30s and thinking of settling down and I’m sure your girlfriend is a sweetheart but i she may not be right for you long term. Woman from the past may not be either but I think you need to figure your feelings out. You

This. But be honest about the reason why so she doesn’t think she did something wrong or was lacking somehow. She can accept that you’ve always loved Larla. This will let her move on without becoming neurotic about herself.

[Anonymous]

The way you wrote your post tells me you’re already distancing yourself emotionally from your girlfriend. You didn’t include the fact that you love her or have made plans for a life together in your original post. You didn’t say you live with her; you said you’re sharing an apartment - very clinical phrasing, like roommates. The good news is that you actually are single. You need to come clean with girlfriend that you cannot be exclusive any more because you can’t stop wondering “what if?” about the old crush, and that you understand that that probably means breaking up. Staying with girlfriend and your engaging in either an emotional or physical affair will be more painful for girlfriend in the long run.

[Anonymous]

guy here - you're an asshat OP. First, did your crush express any interest in you before? I'm guessing not. Second, it's a bit curious/suspect that she apparently has indicated some interest in you now: A) are you sure? B) are you absolutely sure? C) she may be the type of person who wants what they cannot have (and you sound that way too).

You are deeply involved with your GF, even if you've only been exclusive for 6 months. Grow up, grow a pair and if you break up with the GF to play out some fantasy with the cruch, at least be a real man about and tell the GF the truth.

As you know, life is always about chasing the "what if" and rejecting the great thing you have now, right? Asshat.