Past crush is back in my life and old feelings have returned

[Anonymous]

1. The grass is always greener

2. You need to first think about how you feel about your current gal. Did you see her as marriage material or was this a move in thing out of convenience. If you break up, are you willing to lose her forever?

Women have a tough time rebounding from that big hurt and even if you come back groveling 6 months from now, she may have moved on.

3. There are women out there that enjoy the chase and the competition. Was she always interested in you and you didn't notice or did she become interested because you aren't available?

[Anonymous]

Date both of them.

[Anonymous]

I’ll try my best to answer questions. I moved in with my girlfriend a little over 3 months ago. It’s not so fast as we’re both over 30.

I say she is or was interested because we when we had lunch together she first said “ I’m glad to be working with you again.” I said “I just hope I’m not slowing you down too much.” And she said “ no worries you’ll catch up.” Which is something so said all the time back in the day.

We had lunch again this week and she said @I’m really glad we’ve been able to catch up. I’ve wondered how you were doing. It’s funny how life goes.”

To which I say “yeah it’s been good. I’m surprised you remembered me.”

Her; I couldn’t forget you.

Me: Obnoxious team member?
Her: A little bit, that has changed. I laugh. She then says “ you bing handsome and funny hasn’t changed either “

To which I say I have a girlfriend.

To which she says I’m an idiot. I say “ no you’re not. I feel the same way.” She says “you have a girlfriend “ I say yes.

[Anonymous]

We kind of stopped talking then and finished lunch and went back to work.

We’ve seen each other in passing since then. Made small talk.

For the record I have lunches with people I’m working with all the time.

I haven’t said anything to my girlfriend. Need to figure this out first. I really do care about my girlfriend, but I’m very drawn to the other woman.

[Anonymous]

How did you feel before you started working with her? Had you thought about her over the years?

If you have and your feelings are not just an ego boost I think you need to pursue this. If you go that route be honest with your girlfriend. Do not blame her or try to create conflict.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. The grass is always greener

2. You need to first think about how you feel about your current gal. Did you see her as marriage material or was this a move in thing out of convenience. If you break up, are you willing to lose her forever?

Women have a tough time rebounding from that big hurt and even if you come back groveling 6 months from now, she may have moved on.

3. There are women out there that enjoy the chase and the competition. Was she always interested in you and you didn't notice or did she become interested because you aren't available?

Regarding your # 2 if op decides to leave his girlfriend I think he would be okay never seeing her again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:guy here - you're an asshat OP. First, did your crush express any interest in you before? I'm guessing not. Second, it's a bit curious/suspect that she apparently has indicated some interest in you now: A) are you sure? B) are you absolutely sure? C) she may be the type of person who wants what they cannot have (and you sound that way too).

You are deeply involved with your GF, even if you've only been exclusive for 6 months. Grow up, grow a pair and if you break up with the GF to play out some fantasy with the cruch, at least be a real man about and tell the GF the truth.

As you know, life is always about chasing the "what if" and rejecting the great thing you have now, right? Asshat.

You don’t sound like a guy. You sound like an insecure woman. Op is not in a committed relationship. He’s neither engaged or married. He and his girlfriend are living together. They’re roommates that have sex. People change their mind when dating and that’s okay. Better to feel this way now than in the future when planning a wedding or worse when married with kids. Both op and his girlfriend deserve to be with people they are 100% certain about. BTDT I’m the girlfriend that was dumped. At the time it hurt like heck, but looking back we were never right for each other. We’ve both married to other people now and I can honestly say I’m glad things ended with my ex and I found my husband.

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound super immature -- writing word for word the conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:8 months? Dump the girlfriend.

Much easier to do if he hadn’t made the stupid choice to move in with her.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand the anger at OP. It’s like you were all virgins with your only relationship being your spouse. He’s not married. He’s not cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound super immature -- writing word for word the conversation.

Please! Op was asked why he thought his crush was interested in him. If he had just said she said so you all would have wanted to know every word so you could tell op he is wrong about her liking him. You sound like you just want to find fault. If op was a woman writing I’m sure your response would be go for it and you deserve someone you’re excited about!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the anger at OP. It’s like you were all virgins with your only relationship being your spouse. He’s not married. He’s not cheating.

No one is angry, we feel like he’s kind of a useless dope is all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound super immature -- writing word for word the conversation.

Please! Op was asked why he thought his crush was interested in him. If he had just said she said so you all would have wanted to know every word so you could tell op he is wrong about her liking him. You sound like you just want to find fault. If op was a woman writing I’m sure your response would be go for it and you deserve someone you’re excited about!

It was such a strong attraction that 10 years went by without either of them contacting each other?
They were so ‘right’ for each other they completely forgot about each other for a decade? Even with social media?
My guess is this chick just got out of prison and is smiling real nice at OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the anger at OP. It’s like you were all virgins with your only relationship being your spouse. He’s not married. He’s not cheating.

It’s because

1. Op is a male.

2. DCUM is a ridiculous place of groupthink.


3. Majority of posters are insecure wives and girlfriends .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the anger at OP. It’s like you were all virgins with your only relationship being your spouse. He’s not married. He’s not cheating.

No one is angry, we feel like he’s kind of a useless dope is all.

Why is he a dope?