Afterlife

[Anonymous]

I've been agnostic/non-denominal Christian most of my life, which has been fine. Recently, I realized that I don't believe in an afterlife. This shook me to my core. I'm having difficulty with everyday life now because it all seems meaningless. I fear death, for both me and those I love, in a way I have never before. Has anyone gone through something similar, how do you manage? I'm hoping this is just temporary.

[Anonymous]

I believe in reincarnation. I'm sure that in my past life, I was a powerful Queen or Empress, because I really like to tell people what to do.

[Anonymous]

I find it pretty much impossible to think there even could be an afterlife (was raised Lutheran and as a kid often worried about this notion that Jesus would show up out of the blue one day to judge both the quick and the dead, and after a pneumonia bout when I was 12 and dreamed the long hand of God stretching down our block and people saying "My God!" and the voice addressing me with a gigantic "Nooooooooo")

I have nights when I'm just about to fall asleep and suddenly feel the sheer terror of death. And realize that no matter HOW MUCH humans want there to be a God, if there isn't one wanting will not make it so.

I have considered that if there IS an afterlife, we might be totally off base to think it is pleasant in any way at all (I don't mean hell, I mean that there could perhaps be a God which does not meet any human standard of one that would be nice or even bearable to be around, maybe it could be a really mean sociopathic God).

I felt enormous guilt when my son was born and knew he would one day have to come to terms with mortality himself. Seemed an awful thing to do to an innocent child. Curiously, I don't blame my parents for sticking me into this existential quagmire.

I rely on thinking that a) I am not going to be killed in a horrific car accident, plane crash, burning house, terrorist attack even though any of these is possible. b) am not going to have cancer even though my sister and brother did and my sister died. c) I will become old and decide that dying is an ok thing to do.

OTOH my dad's mom died in the hospital after developing pneuomonia after breaking her hip--this was 40 years ago, she was very, very old. Her roommate was someone from her neighborhood. The story goes that the roommate knew she would pass soon because she heard her breath rattling, even though the doctor had sent my aunt home assuring her no immediate change was likely. Around midnight, Grandma sat up in bed, yelled "I'm coming, Lord!", and died. If nothing else, that white light or whatever maybe makes it a joyful experience.

[Anonymous]

The thing for me about not (really) believing in an afterlife is that it makes life here on this earth more important. I’m a reform Jew, and believe that it’s part of our purpose to make the world a better place for those who live in it, and those who will follow us. That gives my life meaning, more than a conception of an afterlife.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have a sort of sideline question for you. Have you ever doubted your agnosticism? You say/ imply that you have been fine and comfortable with this belief, but have you ever, or perhaps are you now, doubting your uncertainty?

[Anonymous]

Leaving your family without you is terrifying whether you believe in afterlife or not unless you have that euphoria of heavenly belief.
I don’t believe in an afterlife but leaving the people that love me without my love and support is way more sad and scary (to me) than ceasing to exist.

[Anonymous]

I used to not believe in afterlife. But I've had a few deaths of immediate family members. And after both passed, some very weird stuff happened. Let's put it this way, I'm still unsure, but I certainly now think there might be an afterlife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I believe in reincarnation. I'm sure that in my past life, I was a powerful Queen or Empress, because I really like to tell people what to do.

That could just be a character flaw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I believe in reincarnation. I'm sure that in my past life, I was a powerful Queen or Empress, because I really like to tell people what to do.

c

Maybe you were an evil dictator or just a bossy peasant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing for me about not (really) believing in an afterlife is that it makes life here on this earth more important. I’m a reform Jew, and believe that it’s part of our purpose to make the world a better place for those who live in it, and those who will follow us. That gives my life meaning, more than a conception of an afterlife.

That’s sort of how I feel. And that we’re lucky to be here at all so why demand to live forever.

[Anonymous]

The universe existed for billions of years before you. It will exist for billions of years (or more) after you. The entirety of human existence is just a blip in the fabric of the universe. Death isn't an interruption to your life. Your life is the interruption to the entirety of existence beyond your decades on this rocky orb.

Once you comprehend that, the concept of an afterlife will seem utterly ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The universe existed for billions of years before you. It will exist for billions of years (or more) after you. The entirety of human existence is just a blip in the fabric of the universe. Death isn't an interruption to your life. Your life is the interruption to the entirety of existence beyond your decades on this rocky orb.

Once you comprehend that, the concept of an afterlife will seem utterly ridiculous.

You think this way because you are only thinking in human materialistic terms. What if there is something beyond time and this universe?

Read the Church Fathers and St. Thomas. Maybe that’ll open your mind a bit

[Anonymous]

When I realized that there's likely no afterlife, I actually felt empowered.

It made me recognize the value of THIS life, appreciating things now, being kind to people now, and actually gave my life more meaning. There is no reason you can't cherish the relationships you have here and do the things you want right now. You're promised today - find meaning today.

That said, I don't fear death at all. I fear pain and suffering, and perhaps fear not doing all the things I want to do and experience before I die. But death itself? I won't exist when I'm dead - there's nothing to fear or care about.

[Anonymous]

OP, I see and talk to dead people nearly every day. I’m a medium. And a minister. You don’t have to believe in an afterlife. But I’m telling you that when our physical bodies die, we continue to exist. I can always validate my messages from people who have transitioned. It’s not about religion. We simply do not cease to exist. Our death is exactly like our birth. We move from one reality to the next.

[Anonymous]

I don't have hard, concrete experiences to back up my belief, but this is what I think about the afterlife (and beforelife):

Since everything we can observe in nature is cyclical (aka matter doesn't cease to exist, it just changes form), it would seem logical to me that the same thing would apply to our souls. I believe in souls because it's the only explanation I can come up with for emotions that are so strong (love, hate, etc.) that pure chemicals and hormones don't seem to provide enough explanation.

All that is to say, I believe in reincarnation. I believe we've all always existed and we'll always exist. We just change form. You know how people say, "I met this person and we had an instant connection, like we've always known each other"? To me, that means you probably met in an earlier life. You might have been a human, or maybe you were an animal, but you met.

I also believe in the Buddhist idea of being able to earn a place outside the suffering, material world by being a really good person while in it. I believe in the idea that if you can focus on what's important--being good to others, really--you stand a chance of reaching a higher plane, where you don't have to deal with the suffering we have in the material world.

It doesn't mean you go to some other planet; you're still here, but you just exist in some way that it's really corporal.

Anyway, hopefully that's somewhat coherent. BTW, I don't strictly define myself as a Buddhist, although I spent a lot of time with Buddhist monks in Thailand and love them. I'm basically a cultural Jew who also accepts a lot of the concepts from Buddhism.