Dating a divorced person still living with spouse

[Anonymous]

Separate bedrooms, separate living quarters, house is divided. They do it to support the kid. What is your experience with this scenario and what would be your concerns?

Personally, I find it odd since this potential suitor is telling me that he is not getting serious until many years later. Also, I think it is only fair that his kid be exposed to potential suitors like my kid would be once the relationship was serious.

Your thoughts?

[Anonymous]

No no no no. Run. I doubt he is actually divorced, for one. No one does that. HUGE red flags.

[Anonymous]

No. Moving on after divorce means separate households. If you can’t afford separate households or don’t want to disrupt the kids lives, you don’t date.

[Anonymous]

Only if both have had a relationship post divorce already. I wouldn’t be the first.

[Anonymous]

OP here. The separate residence is legally a different unit under the same roof.

Me, thinks he is pulling a fast one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No no no no. Run. I doubt he is actually divorced, for one. No one does that. HUGE red flags.

While your advice to run may be accurate - your statement that no one does this is wrong. I know 2 couples who are currently in this situation. They do this because it's best for their respective kids. Whether that's true or not, I can't say, but it happens.

OP - FWIW - it depends on what you want out of life and your relationship and if divorced guy is telling the truth and frankly, whether you want to deal with it. If it works in your own life than do what you want but if you want the standard traditional "dating to get serious to marry etc" then no, he is not the one for you.

[Anonymous]

I did this with success and we are still dating now well after divorce. Sometimes people have to do the in-home separation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The separate residence is legally a different unit under the same roof.

Me, thinks he is pulling a fast one.

can you meet the ex spouse?

[Anonymous]

Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The separate residence is legally a different unit under the same roof.

Me, thinks he is pulling a fast one.

Wait -- it's a duplex? Do they share anything (kitchen, living room), or is it two separate apartments? I might give it a go if it's two separate apartments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The separate residence is legally a different unit under the same roof.

Me, thinks he is pulling a fast one.

can you meet the ex spouse?

Is he introducing the kid? What ex spouse wants to meet their ex's dates? Ugh.

He's either telling the truth or he's not. Is there a divorce decree? Can you call him at any hour of the day or night? Can he spend the night? Does he seem evasive about certain topics?

Frankly - for me it wouldn't even be worth it but meeting the ex would not even be something I'd want to do - unless getting serious and meeting the child.

[Anonymous]

How long have you been dating him? When will he move out? Just know you can't have anything meaningful with him. Is he coming to your place when you guys have sex? Does he sleep over? I would not want to meet the kid knowing that the relationship will not last long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did this with success and we are still dating now well after divorce. Sometimes people have to do the in-home separation.

OP here. So, are you just FWB or really dating. How do you handle not being able to every go over his place. Do you have kids and if you do, how to do treat the inequality in the relationship. I assume that you are not looking for a serious relationship but dating for fun.

[Anonymous]

OP here. This is all new, so no physical relationship. I will see what he says about past relationships.

Plus, he is not FWB material.

[Anonymous]

Just put a sock on the doorknob when you stay over.