Adult sibling relationships?

[Anonymous]

How many people here are close with their siblings?

Why or why not?

Are you surprised?

[Anonymous]

I haven't spoken to one in years, I'm more like a casual acquaintance with another, and I'm best friends with the third. After years of frustrating experiences trying to have a good relationship with all of them, I finally came to terms with the fact that they are just like any other people who come into and out of my life over the years. I'm much happier now.

[Anonymous]

My brother and I, he's two years younger.

I'm not close to him at all, but my kids like him. I am closer to his wife, my SIL.

I never liked my brother even as kids. A lot of resentment and parents who didn't help with sibling boundaries. So not surprised and thankful I get along with SIL.

[Anonymous]

I have a younger sister, she is 7 years younger than me and we are best friends.

I am surprised because of our age gap. We weren't always so close but as we got older it just naturally happened. So glad to have her.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 brothers and 5 sisters. We are all there for each other and would do most anything for each other. I am closer with some than others, but this has changed over the years. What never changes is we all have each other's backs no matter what.

[Anonymous]

My sister is four years younger and, no, we're not close. A lot of that relates to her mental health problems but also larger family dynamics. She can be extremely difficult and has let me down so many times it's hard to trust her.

We weren't particularly close as children and then were for a period in our 20s. I'm sad at where we are but also not willing to devote much more effort at fixing things. I can't fix her and I have my own husband and kids. They come first.

[Anonymous]

I am. We are five sisters. We have always been close. We live close by. We each have a different best friend, and we're all close with each other and live in the same development. Sometimes our kids forget whether or not they're biologically related.

Not surprised. We had squabbles growing up, but overall, we're all five pretty easy-going.

[Anonymous]

My brother is three years younger, and we are not at all close (we live on different coasts, and he lives near my parents). I'm not really surprised, since we have really different personalities and weren't especially close growing up.

Honestly, I don't really like him. He's needy, oversensitive, rude, always plays the victim, and treats my parents like crap despite all they do to support him (seriously, he'd be homeless without them). He keeps cutting them off whenever they do anything that upsets him, which usually consists of refusing to give him money. When we see him (we visit my parents once or twice a year), he complains, pitches fits, pouts about stuff, and otherwise sits around like a bump on a log.

For a while, I felt bad, but it is what it is--we are very different people, I don't enjoy his company at all, and I fully expect that once my parents are gone I will have almost nothing to do with him. I can feel sorry for him, but I can't really like him.

I've tried many times over the years to talk to him, to try to help him, but the only thing he wants is to be told what he wants to hear or to have you give him stuff. And he isn't even minimally polite (like, last time he opened his gifts and did not once say that he liked something, let alone thank anyone). Maybe he'll have an epiphany and decide to get his life together, but it's up to him--there's clearly nothing that anyone else can do.

[Anonymous]

I was close with my two sibs growing up, but not so much as adults. They are currently not on speaking terms with each other. One I talk to a few times a year, the other maybe monthly. Certainly, there were some family dynamics that contributed, and also one has had some struggles with depression.

We have an only child in elementary. Whenever people used to say, "Aw, you guys should give her a sibling!" I wasn't buying it. I knew our bandwidth was stretched with one, and that sibling relationships don't always work out for the best anyway. Plus, kid asked for a sib for a short while around age 5, but is otherwise pretty happy, with close friends and cousins.

[Anonymous]

I have four sister's and use to be very close to two of them. They have gotten frustrated (understandably) with my mental health and health issues and no longer keep in touch.

I miss them very much.

[Anonymous]

I was not close with my sister for years. We still have issues but I've decided that being close is more important so we now talk almost daily and travel to see each other. No one else shares those childhood memories.

[Anonymous]

One sister, two years older. We aren't close. I always felt a bit like she didn't like me. She always kept me at a distance. We talk like 3-4x year. She visits 1-2x a year, her husband's family is here too and she likes dc touristy stuff. I haven't visited her since I was childless... she probably thinks I'm horrible for not reciprocating visits, but she literally NEVER calls me and has NEVER invited me.

[Anonymous]

Sister is 9years younger than me. We are close, she’s amazing. She can be annoying, and a bit much at times but she truly a good person, funny and would be there for me no matter what.

[Anonymous]

I don't live near my six siblings who all live an hour or so from each other so they see each other multiple times a year. They were all together on Thanksgiving. I will see them once or twice a year and we swap emails quite often but I'm not a big phone person. At the drop of a hat I'd be there for them and I know they'd be there for me.

[Anonymous]

Two sisters and considered one my best friend for many years. The other was very different from the two of us. Eldercare issues created a tremendous amount of resentment and anger on all sides. That has deteriorated my relationship with the best friend sister but also we just don't have much time to do things or talk on the phone as we did in the past. The middle sister who always did her own thing now is looking at a future alone (married a man 20 years older who has advanced Parkinsons and never had kids) and now is more interested in her sisters. I'm open to that. It's not just one way or the other--it's changed over the years.