Adult sibling relationships?

[Anonymous]

One sister. We aren't close, but not because we're estranged or because anything happened. She's come to DC 1x in the past 10 years. I visit her city (where my grandparents live) 1-2x a year. She's never met her niece. It's not ideal, but it's life.

[Anonymous]

Yes, we are. We have nothing in common besides a strong commitment to make sure we stay close and are involved with eachother's lives.

We don't judge. We treat each other well. We don't sweat the small stuff.

[Anonymous]

My brother married a deeply religious SIL. She spews her religious nonsense on everyone. SIL believes that the man is the head of the household and girls could be married as young as 14 yo, like in the bible. I don't know how much this my brother agrees with but he puts up with it. My family is not religious and we stay clear of them. It makes the holidays much more enjoyable.

[Anonymous]

I am close to one niece who is only 5 years younger than me. I am pretty close to my sisters who are much older. I talked to them in mutual chat almost every day.
DH on the opposite side have very few constants with his sister and brother.

In my opinion it all coming from the parents. MIL is extremely selfish person so the whole family is not close, while she is always faking “closeness” on FB.

[Anonymous]

4 brothers. Not close to the one who is 10 years older. Pretty close to the one who is 9 years older. Very close to the ones who are 6 years older and 8 years younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother married a deeply religious SIL. She spews her religious nonsense on everyone. SIL believes that the man is the head of the household and girls could be married as young as 14 yo, like in the bible. I don't know how much this my brother agrees with but he puts up with it. My family is not religious and we stay clear of them. It makes the holidays much more enjoyable.

Can I ask what he likes about her? I mean, if a guy doesn't agree with a woman's major life views why would he want to marry and procreate with her?

[Anonymous]

Nope not close at all. Yes I’m surprised because we were very close until he got engaged to his current wife. I know it’s pretty common but I never thought it would happen to us.

[Anonymous]

We are close (4 of us). Why? I guess because we were raised to be fun, flexible, helpful, forgiving, and nonjudgmental. That certainly helps. We don't live close by, but get together for holidays and special events and sometimes create special events as an excuse to get together. We group text frequently, and travel together every summer and have done so for about 25 years running. At various points in our lives we have all taken care of each other in tight or tough times.

We aren't close in the "gushy tell each other everything bestie sense," that doesn't fit our personalities. But we do seek each others' advice and share confidences, and we enjoy each other's company and prefer it to most others.

[Anonymous]

Very close to my sister. She is absolutely one of my best friends. We share a lot of the same interests, have kids the same age, etc. Even when we were in highschool/college, and going through annoying phases, we still shared common interests that allowed us to move past the petty stuff. We like the same books, movies, clothes, etc. Both are ambitious in our careers. Both prefer quieter pursuits, would rather watch a movie and hang out than go out on the town, etc.

Fine with my brother. We get together out of family obligation, and support one another out of family obligation, but in the real world we would never be friends. Nothing in common. Just very different people. I love him and want the best for him, but I don't actually enjoy his company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are close (4 of us). Why? I guess because we were raised to be fun, flexible, helpful, forgiving, and nonjudgmental. That certainly helps. We don't live close by, but get together for holidays and special events and sometimes create special events as an excuse to get together. We group text frequently, and travel together every summer and have done so for about 25 years running. At various points in our lives we have all taken care of each other in tight or tough times.

We aren't close in the "gushy tell each other everything bestie sense," that doesn't fit our personalities. But we do seek each others' advice and share confidences, and we enjoy each other's company and prefer it to most others.

Kudos to your parents and the siblings. I would love this amongst my 2 siblings. I had great parents but the attributes you listed were never emphasized.

[Anonymous]

I have a sibling who’s slightly older, and one 10 years younger. We are all very close. I think other people get annoyed being around us because we’re in our own world when we’re together.

We have one parent who was abusive. Our childhoods were pretty much a never-ending game of rodeo clown to deal with our parent. I did most of the day to day care for my younger sibling, which has helped us with closeness. If he is thinking about changing jobs or buying a car, he calls to talk it over with me and get advice.

I have always been very close to the one who’s a couple of years older. Our relationship when we were children was borderline weird. We shared a bed, even though we had 2. We didn’t have an entire private language, but we did have many words and phrases in our own language. We were each other’s primary care taker when one of us was sick, even staying home from school to do it.

[Anonymous]

My siblings and I aren’t close at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother and I, he's two years younger.

I'm not close to him at all, but my kids like him. I am closer to his wife, my SIL.

I never liked my brother even as kids. A lot of resentment and parents who didn't help with sibling boundaries. So not surprised and thankful I get along with SIL.

wow this could have been me, except I tried being close to my SIL but she seems to hate me (I try not to take it personally... she seems to hate my whole family especially my parents, who she barely acknowledges (my dad says she hasn't said a word to him directly in years, and they get together probably once a month). She is the nicest to my husband, which is funny to me and my husband, because she's not fooling us! I've tried to bridge the gap with my brother but I just can't manage to connect. My husband thinks he's on the spectrum, which might be true, and would certainly explain a lot about his childhood. I have two kids and I am really hoping that they have a better relationship: so far they are playing together MUCH better than I remember my brother and I getting along. We fought for our parents very limited attention, which I think was the problem (he won by being a pain in the ass and I lost by being a quiet, good kid). My husband is besties with his sister -- they've traveled together and have real conversations regularly -- who in turn is very welcoming to me.

[Anonymous]

In my family the girls are close but no one is close to my brother. Mostly that is because both he and his wife have some pretty significant personality and mental health issues that make it hard to be around them. We all live in the same area but we don't see them unless it is a holiday. It is better that way. I personally am sad for their children but trying to help results in a lot of drama and seems to escalate their problems.

[Anonymous]

I have one brother who is 10 years younger and love him to pieces. Unfortunately he married a pretty controlling girl, so in order to hang out with him you need to please her. I roll with it to an extent, but I still don't get her with multiple levels of insecurities and some odd head stuff. But if my brother kills someone, I'll help him hide the body, that kind of close.