Hey, asshole, I'm talking to you. I've never met you, but you must be an asshole.

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11/01/2009 22:15

Subject: Hey, asshole, I'm talking to you. I've never met you, but you must be an asshole.

Anonymous

Look, I get it. I realize that I looked like the Asshole on the Cell Phone. We all love to hate that person, for sure. But really, did it occur to you I just happened to be on my cell phone? And I'm not really THAT much of an asshole, most of the time.

I was walking home from the metro last week. The day had gotten screwed up due to a family emergency (turned out okay) so I was out of sorts. First of all, I usually get off the Metro about 5 or 5:30, get picked up by my husband and toddler, and get home. Today, because of the family emergency, everything was screwed up. I ended up getting off the Metro late, in the dark, and walking home. I was really out of sorts knowing I would not see my toddler before bedtime - that sucks, but oh well, it was a crazy day, and I'm thankful everything turned out okay. There is a HUGE accident, so I quickly call my husband to tell him to avoid the main street of the Metro and go an alternate route, since there are three fire trucks and several police cars.

As I call him to quickly relay this info, a traffic cop waves us (pedestrians) across the crosswalk, or so I thought. I take one step, not hurried, and the man says, politely, "ma'am - you can't cross yet." Ah, of course, stupid me. I thought he was waving us, but turns out he was waving the cars turning right. I step back to the curb, and the woman next to me snaps, "Get off your phone and pay attention."

Okay, I get it, I'm the Asshole on the Cell Phone. The thing is, I shouldn't have been on my phone, though in my defense, I wanted to save my husband the trouble of getting backed up in traffic. Like I said, Family Emergency Day, no fun for anyone, and he got the brunt of it. If you knew me at all, you would know, my cell phone was probably produced in 1986. It cost me $2.00 - yes 2, from some sort of crazy rebate which is the only reason I got it.

It has no fancy features. I am never on it. I believe three people have my cell phone number. If you look at my call log in the last 6 months, you will see, aside from calls from DH to line up Metro pick up, I think I have one or two calls from my mom, but really, that is it. I have an almost phobia about cell phones - I simply don't like them, and really, hate the phone in general. And to be honest, it wasn't the phone that was causing me not to pay attention - he hadn't even picked up yet. It was that whole family emergency thing. It was that whole having your heart ripped out of your chest for a couple of hours earlier that day, and thinking your world might have ended (luckily, it hadn't).

Anyway, my bad. And it's not as if the woman hit me or anything. But I'm a sensitive person and it made me feel like shit. And the traffic cop was polite, and it was his moment I was ruining, so what's it to her? She is likely too old for the DCUM demographic, so I doubt she is reading, but it got me thinking - we all hate obnoxious people on their phone, or in a hundred other situations - someone who gets distracted on the sidewalk and doesn't move in time, someone lost in our neighborhood looking for a house and getting in the way, someone taking too long in front of us at the grocery store or the ATM.

I get impatient with people all the time, and in some ways, it is easier to pretend they are an asshole. But sometimes, they may be distracted because they are having a really bad day. Maybe they have been trying to get pregnant for years and just got their period, AGAIN. Maybe they lost a loved one, took some time off, and are back at work that first day. I feel like around here, we don't give people the benefit of the doubt much, and I'm as guilty as anyone, but I will try to do better. And I will go back to my cell phone phobia and stay off it from now on. I hate that thing!!!!