Hey, asshole, I'm talking to you. I've never met you, but you must be an asshole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read other comments but just wanted to say that OP's story is a good reminder that I don't always know what is going on with the other person and should try not to prejudge. thanks, OP!

Bravo. It's disheartening (but not surprising) that so few PPs took this away from the OP's post.

Yet you're failing to see OP is doing the same exact judging to the person she's venting about! Who knows - as a PP said- maybe this stranger has had horrible incidents occur b/c of careless cell phone use, distracted drivers, etc. Maybe the person was just having a bad day! Why does OP get to vent and judge someone for doing the same to her??

Think you are missing the point. I don't care what kind of day that woman was having, she didn't HAVE to make a snide comment. She wasn't saving anyone from danger. People with breast cancer, death in the family, laid off, etc. walk around all the time. If everyone were to make snide, rude comments, the world would be a much sadder place in deed.

We've all had bad days, and tough times. But that doesn't give me the right to go off on the guy at Starbucks for getting my order wrong, or for making rude comments. People who make rude comments for no reason are bitter, unhappy people, pure and simple. I doubt that lady felt better, or her day was improved, after making that snide comment.

I have found, whenever I am rude to a stranger, frankly it makes me feel like shit. So I don't do it, even if it is "deserved." I am a very lucky person, I'm healthy, my family is healthy, etc. I try to remember that every day. The small stuff is not important and I don't want to make someone feel bad, or make myself feel superior in some way, just because I can.

Nope, again I'm not. You're suggesting it's okay for OP to get on a forum because it's anonymous to call someone an asshole. When she herself is expecting a stranger to be more forgiving of a wrong action then OP goes around calling THAT person the asshole. Where's the forgiveness OP? Kettle? Black?

I get that it's a vent. But honestly, OP should have just accepted she was wrong to begin with and disregarded the rude comment. Which I agree - was rude of the stranger. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:two words: brain tumors

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read other comments but just wanted to say that OP's story is a good reminder that I don't always know what is going on with the other person and should try not to prejudge. thanks, OP!

Bravo. It's disheartening (but not surprising) that so few PPs took this away from the OP's post.

Yet you're failing to see OP is doing the same exact judging to the person she's venting about! Who knows - as a PP said- maybe this stranger has had horrible incidents occur b/c of careless cell phone use, distracted drivers, etc. Maybe the person was just having a bad day! Why does OP get to vent and judge someone for doing the same to her??

Think you are missing the point. I don't care what kind of day that woman was having, she didn't HAVE to make a snide comment. She wasn't saving anyone from danger. People with breast cancer, death in the family, laid off, etc. walk around all the time. If everyone were to make snide, rude comments, the world would be a much sadder place in deed.

We've all had bad days, and tough times. But that doesn't give me the right to go off on the guy at Starbucks for getting my order wrong, or for making rude comments. People who make rude comments for no reason are bitter, unhappy people, pure and simple. I doubt that lady felt better, or her day was improved, after making that snide comment.

I have found, whenever I am rude to a stranger, frankly it makes me feel like shit. So I don't do it, even if it is "deserved." I am a very lucky person, I'm healthy, my family is healthy, etc. I try to remember that every day. The small stuff is not important and I don't want to make someone feel bad, or make myself feel superior in some way, just because I can.

Nope, again I'm not. You're suggesting it's okay for OP to get on a forum because it's anonymous to call someone an asshole. When she herself is expecting a stranger to be more forgiving of a wrong action then OP goes around calling THAT person the asshole. Where's the forgiveness OP? Kettle? Black?

I get that it's a vent. But honestly, OP should have just accepted she was wrong to begin with and disregarded the rude comment. Which I agree - was rude of the stranger. Done.

There's a huge difference between calling someone an asshole to their face (or telling them to hang up and pay attention) and calling someone an asshole on an anonymous forum that they are not likely to read. We ALL call people assholes to ourselves but normally don't actually say it out loud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

but his assumptions weren't wrong -- if you had not been talking on the cell phone you wouldn't have taken so long with the buckle on the cart and/or would have gotten out of the way of people who needed carts. the problem wasn't his reaction as much as your thinking that the whole world is supposed to work around you while you listen to your voice mail (instead of paying attention to your kid) and then blocking traffic while you tried to do too many things at once.

I was trying to get the smashed buckle inserted. I was using two hands and it would not have been done any faster if a phone was not next to my head. There was another row of carts inches away from me. His time is so important that he can't either wait for me to get the child buckled or take a half step to the next row of carts? Give me a break.

It looks like he is not the only person that makes stupid assumptions.

I think our society dictates that women are supposed to be polite and quiet in situations like this. If I were a man, I doubt he would have said anything to me in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
There's a huge difference between calling someone an asshole to their face (or telling them to hang up and pay attention) and calling someone an asshole on an anonymous forum that they are not likely to read. We ALL call people assholes to ourselves but normally don't actually say it out loud.

But don't you think this is part of the problem? Maybe we should be calling each other out (perhaps not as strongly as asshole) when we do things that are inconvenient or unsafe or rude or thoughtless. But ignoring all the obvious wrongs, we give tacit approval to them and then they become ok, even when we all know they are not. So then we seethe because people are so rude and unthinking and that's why so many otherwise normal, pleasant people are so close to boiling all the time.

[Anonymous]

I was trying to get the smashed buckle inserted. I was using two hands and it would not have been done any faster if a phone was not next to my head. There was another row of carts inches away from me. His time is so important that he can't either wait for me to get the child buckled or take a half step to the next row of carts? Give me a break.

It looks like he is not the only person that makes stupid assumptions.

I think our society dictates that women are supposed to be polite and quiet in situations like this. If I were a man, I doubt he would have said anything to me in the first place.

Well, no one's going to accuse you of being polite! No worries there! Stop trying to justify yourself. Yeah, the guy was a jerk, but you were a MUCH bigger jerk, as countless PPs have pointed out.

PS - I'm polite to other people, and it doesn't make me feel the least bit oppressed or gender-stereotyped.

[Anonymous]

PP, you should look up the definitions of "justification" and "clarification".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

but his assumptions weren't wrong -- if you had not been talking on the cell phone you wouldn't have taken so long with the buckle on the cart and/or would have gotten out of the way of people who needed carts. the problem wasn't his reaction as much as your thinking that the whole world is supposed to work around you while you listen to your voice mail (instead of paying attention to your kid) and then blocking traffic while you tried to do too many things at once.

I was trying to get the smashed buckle inserted. I was using two hands and it would not have been done any faster if a phone was not next to my head. There was another row of carts inches away from me. His time is so important that he can't either wait for me to get the child buckled or take a half step to the next row of carts? Give me a break.

It looks like he is not the only person that makes stupid assumptions.

I think our society dictates that women are supposed to be polite and quiet in situations like this. If I were a man, I doubt he would have said anything to me in the first place.

You just can't let it go. I think that says so much more than your words.

[Anonymous]

Oh, and nice try making this about gender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read other comments but just wanted to say that OP's story is a good reminder that I don't always know what is going on with the other person and should try not to prejudge. thanks, OP!

Bravo. It's disheartening (but not surprising) that so few PPs took this away from the OP's post.

Yet you're failing to see OP is doing the same exact judging to the person she's venting about! Who knows - as a PP said- maybe this stranger has had horrible incidents occur b/c of careless cell phone use, distracted drivers, etc. Maybe the person was just having a bad day! Why does OP get to vent and judge someone for doing the same to her??

Think you are missing the point. I don't care what kind of day that woman was having, she didn't HAVE to make a snide comment. She wasn't saving anyone from danger. People with breast cancer, death in the family, laid off, etc. walk around all the time. If everyone were to make snide, rude comments, the world would be a much sadder place in deed.

We've all had bad days, and tough times. But that doesn't give me the right to go off on the guy at Starbucks for getting my order wrong, or for making rude comments. People who make rude comments for no reason are bitter, unhappy people, pure and simple. I doubt that lady felt better, or her day was improved, after making that snide comment.

I have found, whenever I am rude to a stranger, frankly it makes me feel like shit. So I don't do it, even if it is "deserved." I am a very lucky person, I'm healthy, my family is healthy, etc. I try to remember that every day. The small stuff is not important and I don't want to make someone feel bad, or make myself feel superior in some way, just because I can.

Nope, again I'm not. You're suggesting it's okay for OP to get on a forum because it's anonymous to call someone an asshole. When she herself is expecting a stranger to be more forgiving of a wrong action then OP goes around calling THAT person the asshole. Where's the forgiveness OP? Kettle? Black?

I get that it's a vent. But honestly, OP should have just accepted she was wrong to begin with and disregarded the rude comment. Which I agree - was rude of the stranger. Done.

But your wrong. The OP DID NOT call the woman an asshole - the only reference to asshole was herself! So she wasn't rude to the woman at all, during or after the event. Totally, totally different.

this is about how we treat people in the moment, not about venting on an anon. forum, in a fairly benign way.

[Anonymous]

16:40 - but the OP is trying to say the rude stranger should have more compassion to people's circumstances before assuming it's rude. Where is her compassion to the stranger? Not in the moment, anonymous, hours later - doesn't matter if we're basing this on the OP's rules about assumptions.

I do think the stranger was rude. But I do think the stranger was right about the cell phone distraction. OP should've let it go without her own name calling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:16:40 - but the OP is trying to say the rude stranger should have more compassion to people's circumstances before assuming it's rude. Where is her compassion to the stranger? Not in the moment, anonymous, hours later - doesn't matter if we're basing this on the OP's rules about assumptions.

I do think the stranger was rude. But I do think the stranger was right about the cell phone distraction. OP should've let it go without her own name calling.

The stranger could have been nicer, that's the whole point. She could have said, "you know, cell phones are so distracting, you should think twice before using them when you are crossing the street." Any number of things that was not snapping, snippy, and rude.

The point is, when we are out in public, on the street, in a store, wherever, we should all try to take the high ground and treat each other more respectfully. It is just basic, what we learned in preschool kind of stuff, that gets forgotten. Vent about it later, complain to your friends. You don't HAVE to call someone out IN THE MOMENT, just because you can. Even if you are right.