New STA parent seeking advice, suggestions, or just plain "I wish I had known X" info

[Anonymous]

I caution people to take posts on here with a grain of salt, particularly during admissions season:

1. The forum is anonymous -- you don't know who is posting what.

2. Any parent of a child knows that kids' perceptions, while valid and immediate to them, may not always be objectively the most accurate view of what transpired;

3. Middle school age is the toughest age -- assuming that the characteristics of a grade in middle school will predict what the class will be like in high school, when the class size grows by about 40% from grade 8 to 9 -- is to ignore the impact of the entry of many new students and of the maturing process.

4. For some reason, people are often hyperbolic and even malicious when they talk about schools (particularly "rival" schools).

This isn't saying to totally disregard everything written here, but use your own judgment, talk to human beings in real life, and get a feel for any school you are considering rather than just going off what's posted on an anonymous rumor board.
3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The recent posts prompted me to inquire of my son this afternoon. He actually said there was a second physical altercation recently!. He also says he likes the 2021 class but it is his class (2022) that is full of psycho bullies.

Wha???? As an STA parent with a 2022 student I think you are really off base here. Its a nice class.

It depends on your experience. If your son and you have been happy you probably think it's a great class and that is great. There are many nice kids and parents. But for other kids and parents they don't feel that way obviously. I also hear differing opinions from parents in the class below you – 2023 as well. Some parents like it but I am hearing for the first time from several different parents in the grade that that class is changing for the worse and is being hijacked by a couple of jerky kids and a couple of jerky parents who are consumed with social engineering. Apparently they are doing the same thing in their other sons' class too. Hopefully it will change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The recent posts prompted me to inquire of my son this afternoon. He actually said there was a second physical altercation recently!. He also says he likes the 2021 class but it is his class (2022) that is full of psycho bullies.

Wha???? As an STA parent with a 2022 student I think you are really off base here. Its a nice class.

It depends on your experience. If your son and you have been happy you probably think it's a great class and that is great. There are many nice kids and parents. But for other kids and parents they don't feel that way obviously. I also hear differing opinions from parents in the class below you – 2023 as well. Some parents like it but I am hearing for the first time from several different parents in the grade that that class is changing for the worse and is being hijacked by a couple of jerky kids and a couple of jerky parents who are consumed with social engineering. Apparently they are doing the same thing in their other sons' class too. Hopefully it will change.

What are some of the ways parents contribute to this? Such a shame. I truly thought that the boys at STA look out for one another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The recent posts prompted me to inquire of my son this afternoon. He actually said there was a second physical altercation recently!. He also says he likes the 2021 class but it is his class (2022) that is full of psycho bullies.

Wha???? As an STA parent with a 2022 student I think you are really off base here. Its a nice class.

It depends on your experience. If your son and you have been happy you probably think it's a great class and that is great. There are many nice kids and parents. But for other kids and parents they don't feel that way obviously. I also hear differing opinions from parents in the class below you – 2023 as well. Some parents like it but I am hearing for the first time from several different parents in the grade that that class is changing for the worse and is being hijacked by a couple of jerky kids and a couple of jerky parents who are consumed with social engineering. Apparently they are doing the same thing in their other sons' class too. Hopefully it will change.

What are some of the ways parents contribute to this? Such a shame. I truly thought that the boys at STA look out for one another.

From the Upper School perspective, they do. Parents much less of a factor. Every private school I know of seems to have more helicopter parents in the elementary and middle school grades. St. Albans actually has a lower key parent body than some other schools, I've found; perhaps because the school gently shoos the parents out of the day to day workings. (I see that as a plus.)

[Anonymous]

Having been both a public school parent and a private school one, the degree of parent participation is markedly different. There are just so many more parent functions (auction, seasonal dinners, picnics, dances, etc.) and the classes are so much smaller that everybody gets to know everybody else pretty quickly. This leads to the appearance that parents are heavily involved in helicopter parenting and social engineering. Don't believe appearances.

[Anonymous]

2022 plenty of bullying...we pretty much do our own thing...elsewhere and with others. School does nothing...not much fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2022 plenty of bullying...we pretty much do our own thing...elsewhere and with others. School does nothing...not much fun.

What do you mean "pretty much do our own thing"? You mean parent intervention/policing?

[Anonymous]

Meaning finding other groups outside of school...there is life at school and a life outside of school. You must not be a Sta parent...there is no policing by parents. Parents may complain, request, notify..on any number of things...that does not mean parent will be given time of day when expressing these things. Parent might need to become a problem at that point...which causes problem for DS!

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I think boys model teacher behavior...belittling and kids respond with laughter. Has happened a few times...

[Anonymous]

Several years ago had a situation with child in Lower School exposed to sustained teasing. Reluctantly went to school (teacher and administration), and were totally affirmed and supported. We weren't counting on the school magically being able to make the teasing stop (and child generally was doing well, had plenty of friends) but were (a) very comforted by school's response and how seriously they took it; and (b) ultimately very happy to see that the school's efforts did result in a change for the better.

No problems since then, but would definitely encourage parents to reach out to school if they feel that there is something going on that's not right.

[Anonymous]

To the 2022 poster, I'm curious what you mean by bullying? Same type of social bullying that the 2023 poster is taking about? If the teachers/admin know, have they been trying to do anything to help resolve? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

What do you mean by social bullying? Can you please give an example?

[Anonymous]

I am concerned about the posts re the class of 2023. For those who posted could you please elaborate.

[Anonymous]

1111, 1201, 1242 - I think your multiple posts with the same requests have scared the PPs off. And that is wise of the PPs who were reporting the issues.

[Anonymous]

14:40 - I am sorry to inform you that you are not as clever as you think. I am the 12:01 poster, but did not post either of the other posts you mentioned. I am, and clearly so are others, interested and/or concerned about the claims of social bullying in certain classes at STA.

To everyone else, it seems strange for boys this age to be participating in social bullying. Can anyone give real examples or is this just lies or exaggerations of a disgruntled parent?