Thoughts on buying a house with my mother....

[Anonymous]

My mother is retiring this year and has asked if my husband and I would go in with her to buy a home that has a MIL suite. She no longer wants to live by herself, but she wants to still live in a house with a yard for her dogs. She's going to put down a 65% down payment and we will take out the remaining mortgage. All three of us will be on the deed for the home and the mortgage, but my husband and I would pay the mortgage, taxes, home insurance, and utilities. My mother would basically be living expense free. She said that she would leave my husband and I the house in her will. This is a home that we would not be able to afford purchasing on our own in a very nice area, so I believe it is a good investment. We will also be able to keep the money we will get from selling our current home which will be around 30k. My husband and I get along very well with my mother and I am happy to live with her as long as we both have our own space. I do have siblings though and I just want to make sure the home would go to my husband and I free and clear if anything happened to her. Thoughts and concerns?

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Only if the siblings are ok with it and you have it in writing.

[Anonymous]

Hire a good estate planning attorney. Ideally, you'd have one represent your Mom and have someone else review the arrangements to protect your interests. The obvious issue with "she will leave it to us in her will" is that wills can be changed, invalidated, contested, etc. There are ways to ensure that you are protected through a trust, but they could have not so favorable tax consequences, so it will be worth your while to spend a couple of thousand to know what you're getting into.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only if the siblings are ok with it and you have it in writing.

Yes they are and I don't even think they would come after the house, but I definitely want her to put it in her will.

[Anonymous]

Still, get a lawyer and ensure your interests are protected. If she's amenable, it shouldn't be difficult/expensive.

[Anonymous]

I’d do and I have a friend who is doing this right now. She actually built a new home about 10 years ago on a lot in Ch Ch her mother ‘gave’ her with stipulation that there was a MIL suite included. So the MIL contributed the cost of the land (tear downs in that neighborhood were close to a million) and my friend/her DH paid for building house (which I’d guess was about as much.) This is a gorgeous house that you’d never guess has a three floor apartment in with an elevator for the MIL (though she only uses two floors of it and the lower level is pretty empty except some long term storage.) The space was designed so that it will be easy to merge with rest of house.

They seem to get along well and I’m sure being just on the other side of the wall is a comfort for all. IF my parents would do-I’d say yes (they won’t though!!)

[Anonymous]

You don't want to live with your mother.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s great...except I’d have the documents say she is leaving her interest in the home to you, not you and your husband and that this is separate from the remaining inheritance you will receive. If she has to go into assisted living or needs aides, will she have money for that with her money tied up in the house? Is her suite on the first floor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s great...except I’d have the documents say she is leaving her interest in the home to you, not you and your husband and that this is separate from the remaining inheritance you will receive. If she has to go into assisted living or needs aides, will she have money for that with her money tied up in the house? Is her suite on the first floor?

This will be a huge issue. If she had to go into a nursing home, who would pay. Medicaid would put a lean on your house if she is a joint owner and there is a five year hold back to get it. She should just gift you the money and your name only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s great...except I’d have the documents say she is leaving her interest in the home to you, not you and your husband and that this is separate from the remaining inheritance you will receive. If she has to go into assisted living or needs aides, will she have money for that with her money tied up in the house? Is her suite on the first floor?

This will be a huge issue. If she had to go into a nursing home, who would pay. Medicaid would put a lean on your house if she is a joint owner and there is a five year hold back to get it. She should just gift you the money and your name only.

Would it be hard to just remove her from the deed down the line?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother is retiring this year and has asked if my husband and I would go in with her to buy a home that has a MIL suite. She no longer wants to live by herself, but she wants to still live in a house with a yard for her dogs. She's going to put down a 65% down payment and we will take out the remaining mortgage. All three of us will be on the deed for the home and the mortgage, but my husband and I would pay the mortgage, taxes, home insurance, and utilities. My mother would basically be living expense free. She said that she would leave my husband and I the house in her will. This is a home that we would not be able to afford purchasing on our own in a very nice area, so I believe it is a good investment. We will also be able to keep the money we will get from selling our current home which will be around 30k. My husband and I get along very well with my mother and I am happy to live with her as long as we both have our own space. I do have siblings though and I just want to make sure the home would go to my husband and I free and clear if anything happened to her. Thoughts and concerns?

Why does her name have to be on the house at all? Can't she just give you the money and the house goes in your name and your husband's with the understanding that she'll live in the MIL suite?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother is retiring this year and has asked if my husband and I would go in with her to buy a home that has a MIL suite. She no longer wants to live by herself, but she wants to still live in a house with a yard for her dogs. She's going to put down a 65% down payment and we will take out the remaining mortgage. All three of us will be on the deed for the home and the mortgage, but my husband and I would pay the mortgage, taxes, home insurance, and utilities. My mother would basically be living expense free. She said that she would leave my husband and I the house in her will. This is a home that we would not be able to afford purchasing on our own in a very nice area, so I believe it is a good investment. We will also be able to keep the money we will get from selling our current home which will be around 30k. My husband and I get along very well with my mother and I am happy to live with her as long as we both have our own space. I do have siblings though and I just want to make sure the home would go to my husband and I free and clear if anything happened to her. Thoughts and concerns?

Why does her name have to be on the house at all? Can't she just give you the money and the house goes in your name and your husband's with the understanding that she'll live in the MIL suite?

Because the OP would get clobbered with taxes.

[Anonymous]

I would do it in a heartbeat if my mom were not insane. I can only handle my mom in very short superficial doses. I'd rather live with my inlaws than my mother.

However sounds like you have a great relationship. Nothing abnormal or negative about living with family. This has been done for thousands of years. Being connected to family and having strong bonds is even good for your health. Given what you have written seems like a good deal.

[Anonymous]

I would do it, I get along great with my parents and if there was enough space/separation when we want it then I would totally be on board