Thoughts on buying a house with my mother....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother is retiring this year and has asked if my husband and I would go in with her to buy a home that has a MIL suite. She no longer wants to live by herself, but she wants to still live in a house with a yard for her dogs. She's going to put down a 65% down payment and we will take out the remaining mortgage. All three of us will be on the deed for the home and the mortgage, but my husband and I would pay the mortgage, taxes, home insurance, and utilities. My mother would basically be living expense free. She said that she would leave my husband and I the house in her will. This is a home that we would not be able to afford purchasing on our own in a very nice area, so I believe it is a good investment. We will also be able to keep the money we will get from selling our current home which will be around 30k. My husband and I get along very well with my mother and I am happy to live with her as long as we both have our own space. I do have siblings though and I just want to make sure the home would go to my husband and I free and clear if anything happened to her. Thoughts and concerns?

Why does her name have to be on the house at all? Can't she just give you the money and the house goes in your name and your husband's with the understanding that she'll live in the MIL suite?

Because the OP would get clobbered with taxes.

Nonsense. What taxes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother is retiring this year and has asked if my husband and I would go in with her to buy a home that has a MIL suite. She no longer wants to live by herself, but she wants to still live in a house with a yard for her dogs. She's going to put down a 65% down payment and we will take out the remaining mortgage. All three of us will be on the deed for the home and the mortgage, but my husband and I would pay the mortgage, taxes, home insurance, and utilities. My mother would basically be living expense free. She said that she would leave my husband and I the house in her will. This is a home that we would not be able to afford purchasing on our own in a very nice area, so I believe it is a good investment. We will also be able to keep the money we will get from selling our current home which will be around 30k. My husband and I get along very well with my mother and I am happy to live with her as long as we both have our own space. I do have siblings though and I just want to make sure the home would go to my husband and I free and clear if anything happened to her. Thoughts and concerns?

Why does her name have to be on the house at all? Can't she just give you the money and the house goes in your name and your husband's with the understanding that she'll live in the MIL suite?

You could get a lawyer to draw up a document giving her a lifetime interest in the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s great...except I’d have the documents say she is leaving her interest in the home to you, not you and your husband and that this is separate from the remaining inheritance you will receive. If she has to go into assisted living or needs aides, will she have money for that with her money tied up in the house? Is her suite on the first floor?

This will be a huge issue. If she had to go into a nursing home, who would pay. Medicaid would put a lean on your house if she is a joint owner and there is a five year hold back to get it. She should just gift you the money and your name only.

These are great questions. Also PP had a good question WRT will the rest of her inheritance be spread equally? What if she says "Oh, Larla is getting the house so I'll leave the money to Larlo and Larlio?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother is retiring this year and has asked if my husband and I would go in with her to buy a home that has a MIL suite. She no longer wants to live by herself, but she wants to still live in a house with a yard for her dogs. She's going to put down a 65% down payment and we will take out the remaining mortgage. All three of us will be on the deed for the home and the mortgage, but my husband and I would pay the mortgage, taxes, home insurance, and utilities. My mother would basically be living expense free. She said that she would leave my husband and I the house in her will. This is a home that we would not be able to afford purchasing on our own in a very nice area, so I believe it is a good investment. We will also be able to keep the money we will get from selling our current home which will be around 30k. My husband and I get along very well with my mother and I am happy to live with her as long as we both have our own space. I do have siblings though and I just want to make sure the home would go to my husband and I free and clear if anything happened to her. Thoughts and concerns?

Why does her name have to be on the house at all? Can't she just give you the money and the house goes in your name and your husband's with the understanding that she'll live in the MIL suite?

Because the OP would get clobbered with taxes.

Nonsense. What taxes?

Op here and we were wondering about taxes if she were just to gift it to us. I think it would just go towards our lifetime gift allowance, we would have to file a gift tax form though. Everyone has made some very good points, so thank you so much for the advice. The down payment would be about half of her retirement funds, but she may receive a substantial inheritance. As far as taking her off the deed down the line, would that be difficult? From my research it looks like it would be fairly simple? Once again thank you.

[Anonymous]

Have you lived with her at all since you have been an adult? I have had my mother live with me a few years and it was worth it to buy her a condo so that she wasn't living with us. I definetly suggest a trial of some kind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Why does her name have to be on the house at all? Can't she just give you the money and the house goes in your name and your husband's with the understanding that she'll live in the MIL suite?

That's not a good idea for the mom, as she could be kicked out if OP and her husband decide they don't like the arrangement. I'd think a simple joint tenancy with right of survivorship would work. Property passes to the remaining owners when one party dies, then, assuming that's mom who has died, OP and her DH can retitle it as tenants by the entirety. Talk to a title company or a real estate lawyer, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you lived with her at all since you have been an adult? I have had my mother live with me a few years and it was worth it to buy her a condo so that she wasn't living with us. I definetly suggest a trial of some kind.

We have always been very close and I talk to her daily. She has visited for extended periods of time and the issues we had during those times would be fixed with us both having our own space, specifically both having our own kitchen. My husband also really enjoys her company and is 100% on board. My mother made the transition from parent to friend very smoothly after I moved out.

[Anonymous]

What if you and your husband divorced?

[Anonymous]

I would do this with my mother for sure. It's definitely worth the money to have a lawyer/financial adviser consult on the financial/legal issues to make sure you have it set up correctly.

But if you get along with her, and your DH is amenable I think it sounds awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if you and your husband divorced?

I guess there are always going to be what ifs. My husband and I have been together for 10 years and have a very strong relationship. He's my best friend. I guess if it did happen we would probably have to sell the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother is retiring this year and has asked if my husband and I would go in with her to buy a home that has a MIL suite. She no longer wants to live by herself, but she wants to still live in a house with a yard for her dogs. She's going to put down a 65% down payment and we will take out the remaining mortgage. All three of us will be on the deed for the home and the mortgage, but my husband and I would pay the mortgage, taxes, home insurance, and utilities. My mother would basically be living expense free. She said that she would leave my husband and I the house in her will. This is a home that we would not be able to afford purchasing on our own in a very nice area, so I believe it is a good investment. We will also be able to keep the money we will get from selling our current home which will be around 30k. My husband and I get along very well with my mother and I am happy to live with her as long as we both have our own space. I do have siblings though and I just want to make sure the home would go to my husband and I free and clear if anything happened to her. Thoughts and concerns?

Why does her name have to be on the house at all? Can't she just give you the money and the house goes in your name and your husband's with the understanding that she'll live in the MIL suite?

Because the OP would get clobbered with taxes.

Nonsense. What taxes?

Op here and we were wondering about taxes if she were just to gift it to us. I think it would just go towards our lifetime gift allowance, we would have to file a gift tax form though. Everyone has made some very good points, so thank you so much for the advice. The down payment would be about half of her retirement funds, but she may receive a substantial inheritance. As far as taking her off the deed down the line, would that be difficult? From my research it looks like it would be fairly simple? Once again thank you.

Wrong. It would go towards HER lifetime gift allowance. It simply reduces the amount she can pass along not subject to gift taxes. The amount is around $5 million now so unless you’re planning to inherit this much, I wouldn’t be remotely concerned about her estate tax down the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother is retiring this year and has asked if my husband and I would go in with her to buy a home that has a MIL suite. She no longer wants to live by herself, but she wants to still live in a house with a yard for her dogs. She's going to put down a 65% down payment and we will take out the remaining mortgage. All three of us will be on the deed for the home and the mortgage, but my husband and I would pay the mortgage, taxes, home insurance, and utilities. My mother would basically be living expense free. She said that she would leave my husband and I the house in her will. This is a home that we would not be able to afford purchasing on our own in a very nice area, so I believe it is a good investment. We will also be able to keep the money we will get from selling our current home which will be around 30k. My husband and I get along very well with my mother and I am happy to live with her as long as we both have our own space. I do have siblings though and I just want to make sure the home would go to my husband and I free and clear if anything happened to her. Thoughts and concerns?

Why does her name have to be on the house at all? Can't she just give you the money and the house goes in your name and your husband's with the understanding that she'll live in the MIL suite?

Because the OP would get clobbered with taxes.

Nonsense. What taxes?

Op here and we were wondering about taxes if she were just to gift it to us. I think it would just go towards our lifetime gift allowance, we would have to file a gift tax form though. Everyone has made some very good points, so thank you so much for the advice. The down payment would be about half of her retirement funds, but she may receive a substantial inheritance. As far as taking her off the deed down the line, would that be difficult? From my research it looks like it would be fairly simple? Once again thank you.

It’s easy, that’s not the issue. The problem is that nursing homes and Medicaid have “lookback” periods. It’s to prevent people from giving away assets to hide them and then collecting government assistance. If your mom had to go on Medicaid Long term care and let’s say the care costs the government 200k, the government will say YOU owe them 200k (from the house).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother is retiring this year and has asked if my husband and I would go in with her to buy a home that has a MIL suite. She no longer wants to live by herself, but she wants to still live in a house with a yard for her dogs. She's going to put down a 65% down payment and we will take out the remaining mortgage. All three of us will be on the deed for the home and the mortgage, but my husband and I would pay the mortgage, taxes, home insurance, and utilities. My mother would basically be living expense free. She said that she would leave my husband and I the house in her will. This is a home that we would not be able to afford purchasing on our own in a very nice area, so I believe it is a good investment. We will also be able to keep the money we will get from selling our current home which will be around 30k. My husband and I get along very well with my mother and I am happy to live with her as long as we both have our own space. I do have siblings though and I just want to make sure the home would go to my husband and I free and clear if anything happened to her. Thoughts and concerns?

Why does her name have to be on the house at all? Can't she just give you the money and the house goes in your name and your husband's with the understanding that she'll live in the MIL suite?

Because the OP would get clobbered with taxes.

Nonsense. What taxes?

Op here and we were wondering about taxes if she were just to gift it to us. I think it would just go towards our lifetime gift allowance, we would have to file a gift tax form though. Everyone has made some very good points, so thank you so much for the advice. The down payment would be about half of her retirement funds, but she may receive a substantial inheritance. As far as taking her off the deed down the line, would that be difficult? From my research it looks like it would be fairly simple? Once again thank you.

It’s easy, that’s not the issue. The problem is that nursing homes and Medicaid have “lookback” periods. It’s to prevent people from giving away assets to hide them and then collecting government assistance. If your mom had to go on Medicaid Long term care and let’s say the care costs the government 200k, the government will say YOU owe them 200k (from the house).

This is probably a stupid question, but wouldn't my mom have Medicare not Medicaid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother is retiring this year and has asked if my husband and I would go in with her to buy a home that has a MIL suite. She no longer wants to live by herself, but she wants to still live in a house with a yard for her dogs. She's going to put down a 65% down payment and we will take out the remaining mortgage. All three of us will be on the deed for the home and the mortgage, but my husband and I would pay the mortgage, taxes, home insurance, and utilities. My mother would basically be living expense free. She said that she would leave my husband and I the house in her will. This is a home that we would not be able to afford purchasing on our own in a very nice area, so I believe it is a good investment. We will also be able to keep the money we will get from selling our current home which will be around 30k. My husband and I get along very well with my mother and I am happy to live with her as long as we both have our own space. I do have siblings though and I just want to make sure the home would go to my husband and I free and clear if anything happened to her. Thoughts and concerns?

Why does her name have to be on the house at all? Can't she just give you the money and the house goes in your name and your husband's with the understanding that she'll live in the MIL suite?

Because the OP would get clobbered with taxes.

Nonsense. What taxes?

Op here and we were wondering about taxes if she were just to gift it to us. I think it would just go towards our lifetime gift allowance, we would have to file a gift tax form though. Everyone has made some very good points, so thank you so much for the advice. The down payment would be about half of her retirement funds, but she may receive a substantial inheritance. As far as taking her off the deed down the line, would that be difficult? From my research it looks like it would be fairly simple? Once again thank you.

It’s easy, that’s not the issue. The problem is that nursing homes and Medicaid have “lookback” periods. It’s to prevent people from giving away assets to hide them and then collecting government assistance. If your mom had to go on Medicaid Long term care and let’s say the care costs the government 200k, the government will say YOU owe them 200k (from the house).

This is probably a stupid question, but wouldn't my mom have Medicare not Medicaid?

Its not a stupid question at all, its something most people don't understand. Medicare doesn't pay for long term care (meaning a nursing home). If you need to go into a nursing home, you pay for it yourself for as long as you can. Then, when you are poor, you go on Medicaid and Medicaid pays for the nursing home. If you try to give your money away when you are old so that you don't have to use it to pay for long term care, the government will look at where and when you gave your money away, and if it was within 5 years of your going on medicaid they will come after the money, under the assumption you were trying to skirt the law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother is retiring this year and has asked if my husband and I would go in with her to buy a home that has a MIL suite. She no longer wants to live by herself, but she wants to still live in a house with a yard for her dogs. She's going to put down a 65% down payment and we will take out the remaining mortgage. All three of us will be on the deed for the home and the mortgage, but my husband and I would pay the mortgage, taxes, home insurance, and utilities. My mother would basically be living expense free. She said that she would leave my husband and I the house in her will. This is a home that we would not be able to afford purchasing on our own in a very nice area, so I believe it is a good investment. We will also be able to keep the money we will get from selling our current home which will be around 30k. My husband and I get along very well with my mother and I am happy to live with her as long as we both have our own space. I do have siblings though and I just want to make sure the home would go to my husband and I free and clear if anything happened to her. Thoughts and concerns?

Why does her name have to be on the house at all? Can't she just give you the money and the house goes in your name and your husband's with the understanding that she'll live in the MIL suite?

Because the OP would get clobbered with taxes.

Nonsense. What taxes?

Op here and we were wondering about taxes if she were just to gift it to us. I think it would just go towards our lifetime gift allowance, we would have to file a gift tax form though. Everyone has made some very good points, so thank you so much for the advice. The down payment would be about half of her retirement funds, but she may receive a substantial inheritance. As far as taking her off the deed down the line, would that be difficult? From my research it looks like it would be fairly simple? Once again thank you.

It’s easy, that’s not the issue. The problem is that nursing homes and Medicaid have “lookback” periods. It’s to prevent people from giving away assets to hide them and then collecting government assistance. If your mom had to go on Medicaid Long term care and let’s say the care costs the government 200k, the government will say YOU owe them 200k (from the house).

This is probably a stupid question, but wouldn't my mom have Medicare not Medicaid?

Its not a stupid question at all, its something most people don't understand. Medicare doesn't pay for long term care (meaning a nursing home). If you need to go into a nursing home, you pay for it yourself for as long as you can. Then, when you are poor, you go on Medicaid and Medicaid pays for the nursing home. If you try to give your money away when you are old so that you don't have to use it to pay for long term care, the government will look at where and when you gave your money away, and if it was within 5 years of your going on medicaid they will come after the money, under the assumption you were trying to skirt the law.

This.