I didn’t prioritize for a high-status male. Anyone else?

[Anonymous]

I frequently read about men and women acknowledging that marrying someone “high-status” is priority. Women often say it is for the good of their future children. But then I read on here about so much misery over cheating, selfish husbands who are lousy dads.

Wealth and status wasn’t a priority for me. I did have several offers but usually felt they didn’t really see past my looks and care about the real me, a couple were arrogant, one was obviously going to be a cheater, and one was so kind and affectionate but incredibly boring.

I married someone as kind, truthful, and loyal as possible, very good looking and funny. He’s not rich but works hard to provide for our family. Friends envy our peaceful marriage and how involved he is as father. My child adores him. I feel very good that I gave my child an exceptional father.

Anyone else not prioritize wealth? How did it play out for you?

[Anonymous]

Ok.

[Anonymous]

I think this is reasonable

[Anonymous]

This is such a strange humble brag post. “So many men wanted to marry me but I kept my moral compass honed and found a great father for my children.” Uh, yay for you OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I frequently read about men and women acknowledging that marrying someone “high-status” is priority. Women often say it is for the good of their future children. But then I read on here about so much misery over cheating, selfish husbands who are lousy dads.

Wealth and status wasn’t a priority for me. I did have several offers but usually felt they didn’t really see past my looks and care about the real me, a couple were arrogant, one was obviously going to be a cheater, and one was so kind and affectionate but incredibly boring.

I married someone as kind, truthful, and loyal as possible, very good looking and funny. He’s not rich but works hard to provide for our family. Friends envy our peaceful marriage and how involved he is as father. My child adores him. I feel very good that I gave my child an exceptional father.

Anyone else not prioritize wealth? How did it play out for you?

I think you are just talking about money? Your husband sounds very high status, as assessed by you, in other ways. Nice!!

[Anonymous]

Yeah, this was not part of my value system and I always assume people on here are saying it tongue in cheek.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such a strange humble brag post. “So many men wanted to marry me but I kept my moral compass honed and found a great father for my children.” Uh, yay for you OP.

It is super self centered and bright. OP you are insufferable!

[Anonymous]

I figured my husband would not make $$$ bc he was a social scientist and aiming to be a professor, while I was in law school and planning on making partner one day. Flash forward 20 years and my husband is making $25K more than me as a contractor and I’m a Fed. I’m still surprised.

[Anonymous]

I prioritized both wealth and character. Took awhile, but I found someone with both.

[Anonymous]

No, never even crossed my mind to find someone "high status." I just wanted us to be happy and have a lot in common.

[Anonymous]

Do you live in DC, OP? The DMV is a materialistic, status-obsessed, area. Out in "flyover" country, people tend to be a bit less gross about this stuff.

[Anonymous]

I didn't marry a high status male. I felt he had potential but that's not the reason I married him. He was handsome, smart, sweet and he said he loved me. Well, he became off the charts successful but everything else stayed the same or got better.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s sad women talk about marrying high status men. It’s how my in laws talk in a middle eastern country, because women are nothing outside of their roles as a daughter, wife, and mother.

We have an opportunity here in the US to be independent, pursue what we want, and if we want a man, we can have one of those too. Find one that is a complement to the woman you are. Stop looking at them as a business transaction.

[Anonymous]

Maybe if you were less of a sanctimonious cow, you could have found someone with all of your husband’s qualities AND makes a good living. They exist. It’s a false dichotomy to say that all rich guys are cheaters and ugly and all poor guys are saints. I’ve met assholes at every social economic level.

Try to be less of a self righteous ddouchebag OP, just, in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe if you were less of a sanctimonious cow, you could have found someone with all of your husband’s qualities AND makes a good living. They exist. It’s a false dichotomy to say that all rich guys are cheaters and ugly and all poor guys are saints. I’ve met assholes at every social economic level.

Try to be less of a self righteous ddouchebag OP, just, in general.

This.