Been friends with Mom for five years and she has never invited us over

[Anonymous]

She just had a baby and I want to meet the baby and bring her a gift. I kind of hinted I wanted to meet the baby and nothing.

DH thinks the friendship is done. Friend never invites us to anything either. I’m pretty social and invite her always. She always comes to our birthday parties. She has never invited us once to theirs even though she has them.

Is it odd that she never invited us over?

I used to live in a 800sf apt. I still had people over. We have been to people’s homes with pet dander, clutter, small, big, clean, dirty, we don’t care.

Our other mutual friends have started dropping the friend from invitations due to lack of reciprocity.

[Anonymous]

If she actually entertains and doesn’t invite you, then yes, she’s not as invested in the friendship as you are. If she doesn’t entertain anyone, then she’s probably overworked or ashamed of something.

[Anonymous]

You either accept friend for sho they are or you don’t. I would just send the gift.

[Anonymous]

Are the birthday parties she hosts just family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she actually entertains and doesn’t invite you, then yes, she’s not as invested in the friendship as you are. If she doesn’t entertain anyone, then she’s probably overworked or ashamed of something.

I have another preschool mom friend who also never invites us over but seems to often host neighbors and family friends.

Her kid loves my kid and invites himself over to our house all the time. Mom often tries to get together with and without kids.

She does invite us to her birthday parties that are always at party venues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she actually entertains and doesn’t invite you, then yes, she’s not as invested in the friendship as you are. If she doesn’t entertain anyone, then she’s probably overworked or ashamed of something.

When I first met her, she said she was grateful to have a friend like me because I was always planning things.

She has told me she doesn’t tell her kid about some events I invited her to because she knows he will want to go.

[Anonymous]

She sounds like a strong introvert.

[Anonymous]

Some people just hate entertaining. People who love to entertain often don't understand this and take it personally.

[Anonymous]

I used to entertain in a small apartment, but having kids in a small apartment is really cramped and I am loathe to invite anyone over now. I would only worry if she is having parties but not inviting you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people just hate entertaining. People who love to entertain often don't understand this and take it personally.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

She may be overwhelmed having just had a baby. Don't make this time the crucible of your friendship.

[Anonymous]

Honestly? i would drop them. 5 years is a loooong time.

[Anonymous]

Her house is probably a perpetual wreck. The simplest, most obvious answer is usually the correct one. I wouldn't read any more into it.

[Anonymous]

There could be so many reasons for it. Home is small, home is messy, neighbors are already complaining, she is introvert, husband doesn’t want people around, there is tension in the marriage and so on. Just take what is good about the friendship and lower your expectations.

[Anonymous]

I have wanted to invite people over for two years. However with kids and full time jobs and other commitments, we haven't unpacked completely. It isn't the house is gross, it is just disorganized. I never feel like I can invite people over since it looks terrible. That said I don't invite many people if anyone at all. 5 years is a long time and if they entertain I would wonder. It is a bit odd.